My person
by scones-better
Summary: When JD takes care of a special patient, he discovers a part of himself he didn’t know about. JD/Harrison Kelso, NOW JD/Cox. COMPLETE
1. Part 1: My First Peachtini

**Title: **My Person (1/?)

**Author: **scones_better

**Rating: **PG-13 (I think, if I'm wrong let me know)

**Genre: **Romance (with dashes of light angst)

**Summary: **When JD take care of a special patient, he discover a part of himself he didn't know about. JD/Patient to be JD/Cox in the future.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing and make no money out of this. If those characters were mine, they would be, very, very gay.

**AN: **So this is my second fanfic ever. My first scrub fic and also my first JD/Cox fic. All comments and review are therefore more then welcome! I warn you that this fic does not start as a JD/Cox but I promise it will be the case later on! This was inspired by Dr. Kelso comment at the beginning of _His Story IV_ (season 6 episode 7) and I extrapolated from there. The timeline is definitely before season 6 thought. There's no Kim mess and JD and Elliot are on decent terms with each other. Enjoy – or not!

**My Person**

_**Part 1: My First Peachtini**_

JD was now past annoyed and now he was just irritated. "That would be because I'm bisexual Turk."

"Wait what?"

"BISEXUAL TURK. I'M BISEXUAL"

All the usual noises around the nurse station stopped at once. At that moment JD asked himself just how he got there.

***

JD was late this morning. Things had been pretty hectic at work lately and his hair were suffering from it. With no time for a proper haircut, they were getting too long for his usual mousse technique. He had spent half an hour trying to style them without success at which point he realized the time and rushed out of his apartment. Riding his scooter Sasha, JD smiled a little. His hair might be a little too long and work a little more demanding then usually but life sure felt good. He was on good terms with all of his friends, everyone at work seemed happy with his work, the janitor was less of an hassle then usually and Dr. Cox was even calling him Newbie more often then girls name these days. JD was even okay with the fact that he had no ladies sharing his life. It wasn't that he wasn't open to love; it just wasn't all that his life was about. He was happy to be becoming an excellent doctor and to see his friends on a regular basis.

Once arrived at Sacred Heart, JD rushed trough the corridor. He breathed out in relief when he saw that Dr. Cox wasn't around. He was safe. Or so he thought before a piercing whistle menaced to make his ears explode. "OH GOD!" JD said wincing.

"Rapunzel! How nice of you to get down of your preth-thy tower to come and join us, commoners! Your hair are usually an horrifying bird nest mess but this is out of proportion! Do get a haircut princess! But really, 20 minutes late? My, and here I thought you were actually becoming a decent doctor this week! I was about to put you on a very important patient, but I'm not so sure about that anymore."

JD had fallowed the older doctor has he spoke, now quite used to the man's rhythm after all these years.

"I'm so sorry about that. Sasha, my scooter has a hard time when it's cold and …" His lie to save his manliness was quickly interrupted.

"Do I look like I care? Just make damn sure it doesn't happen again, because the patient I'm about to share with you is veh-ry important and I will not have you screw this up."

"Board member?"

"More important then that."

Who could be more important then a board member? JD eyes went to the side has he pictured entering the room only to find the Queen of England herself asking Dr. Cox if he'd care for a scone. He quickly got out of it has the real Dr. Cox gave him the chart. He looked at it, trying to see what could be so special about the patient. A medical mystery maybe? Was Dr. Cox actually asking him to help solve a case? As it turned out, the patient was there for liver problems; nothing major or unusual. "His case doesn't seem that bad…" J.D said as they entered the room.

"Hello Dr. Cox. I see you brought eye candy like you promised" The patient had winked at JD.

"Don't make me sick, you have better taste then that Harrison. This is Newbie, Newbie this is Harrison Kelso."

Oh. That explained everything. Things always got more serious when patients happened to be family or friends of the staff. No one wanted to be the one causing damage or worst death to someone in their entourage.

The man was short like his father, but had a much slimmer waistline. He was handsome in an off way, even with is father's eagle nose. But what really caught JD's attention was his perfect hair. They rivaled McDreamy's (he was spending way too much time with Elliot when he could remember Grey's Anatomy characters names) in their shapes and style, looking incredibly soft. He extended a hand to touch them. "Perfect black waves."

"That's a baaaaaad Newbie!" His hand was slapped away by . "You do not, eveeeeeer touch a patient other then for exam unless they give you permission. By god you should know that by now. I already explained everything to Harrison, but you are to be at his beck and call. Answer every single page. You are to be available at all time, am I clear Tabitha?"

"Yes ."

***

They started treating Harrison medically first. If his liver didn't respond to the medication they would immediately turn to surgery. This meant that for the past two weeks JD had been monitoring the young man very carefully. He was not going to be the one killing the Chief of Medicine son, damn it! It quickly became apparent that Harrison was one of the favorite patients in the hospital, and not because of whom his father was. He was handsome in his odd way, which got him attention from both the ladies and the gents. All the girls came for wardrobe advice and the guys for hair styling tips (and some to see if they would get hitted on. Male egos). He was also incredibly charming, in a way that his father might have been before he landed his chief position and turned into evil on earth. He also had his father edgy attitude, and if anyone dared give him crap he sure has hell didn't take it.

JD knew all that because he was growing quite found of the man himself. For one, he took hair just as seriously as he did himself. And for two, when ever Dr. Cox treated him like a girl Harrison softened the blows with his natural charisma. Dr. Cox clearly liked the guy too. The young intern therefore quickly took the habit of visiting him whenever he had a break. He even occasionally ate diner with him, scoring free Jell-O for desert (Nurse Robert always sneaked a double portion for Harrison, too skinny she said). He was just finishing his green gelatine when Harrison started speaking.

"I see your hair are still long. You could have gotten an haircut instead of using your free time eating crappy hospital food with a not-so-bad patient"

"Actually, studies prove that happy patients do heal a whole lot better. Beside I'm the extra mile guy, always been. So maybe that's why you've been doing so well no?" JD smiled and Harrison rolled his eyes in mock cynicism.

"Get me a blanket and my bag and come here." Harrison requested. JD did as he was told. His patient shifted in his bed and installed the blanket on it neatly. "Sit"

"What are you going to do?" JD asked, a bit nervous. Did Harrison forget that JD didn't swing that way? JD breathed out in relief when Harrison showed him scissors. "Hey, I'm offering you a free haircut. I had a couple of hairdresser boyfriends and I picked some nifty tricks from them. After, I'll show you how to make my McDreamy waves."

"How did you know?" Harrison laughed. "You do know that you sometimes voice your fantasies out loud, right? Don't make that face, everyone know about those. Your eyes go to the side. You look kind of stupid actually."

JD pouted has he sat on the edge of the bed. "Part of the charm." "I bet". JD felt Harrison's soft fingers touching his hair, testing them. He then felt the scissors cutting away. Slowly but surely, he was getting his haircut.

"So, any ladies in your life? I haven't heard you blabbering about anyone. The woman from pediatrics is pretty hot."

"She is. But I'm not looking for anyone right now. I'm actually happy about how things are for once."

"Yeah I heard about all the drama. Hey don't move! Gossips go around fast here and, well, nurse Robert seems to like me so she comes in early in the morning and dish it out on everyone. You could make a soap with all the stuff I heard."

"Haha now that you mention it, totally. I wonder how it would be called. Doctors of our time?"

"Haha , even better; OR!" "No, wait, Doc INC!" "Haha, I've got better! Scrubs!"

"How about How-I-can't-seem-to-keep-away-from-my-patient-who-is-supposed-to-be-resting? Dear god Sophie, the guy is gay! That means he will never, ever, fall for you, seeing as even though you are flat as a board, you do have girls part down there. And, I know, you love to talk hair and make up with him, but seeing as he won't get any, his probably already bored with it." Dr. Cox smirked in the doorway. Harrison chuckled.

"There we go, all done. Throw the hair out." Harrison gave JD the folded blanket. The young doctor was looking at his mentor, whose face was now all smiles, something quite rare. "What?"

"I have good news. You are responding to the medication exceptionally well. You'll be out of here in a couple of days. You are one lucky bastard; you won't have to set one foot in the OR all thanks to Moi! So keep resting. And don't be afraid to throw Pumpkin out when you get tired of her girly gabbing."

"That's brilliant. Why don't you stay and eat Jell-O to celebrate. It's on me!"

Dr. Cox shifted, hesitant for a moment then pulled one of the chair. "Oh all right! But promise to keep princess here quiet."

Harrison chuckled again. JD was greening from ear to ear. He was spending his evening with Harrison and his mentor. It could not be better!

***

The day of Harrison's leave had finally come. JD was watching him say goodbye to the Todd (the Todd loved talking dong with him which Harrison deemed hilarious and therefore humored the surgeon each time he came around). The surgeon left the room and Harrison turned to JD.

"Well, I guess this is it. Thank you for all your time."

"Hey was my pleasure. And now, thanks to you, I can rival McDreamy's hair" They bought laughed a little, and then Harrison's expression sobered.

"I was wondering, if you feel like it, maybe we could hang out one of these days? I'm stuck here for a while, my parents don't want me to leave just yet, in case I relapse you know. That's the problem when your parents are doctors. Plus I don't I have an apartment right now ha-ha. I do know how to get myself in trouble."

"Sure! It would be great. Here, I'll give you my number."

JD wrote it down and gave it to Harrison. It was odd; the man hadn't been here for more then a couple of weeks but JD felt like he would miss him dearly. He didn't make too much fun of his girly manners. And he hated beets too. JD waved at Harrison as he left the hospital.

The next day, everyone received stylish Converses shoes, a thank you gif from Harrison Kelso himself. JD accidentally slammed into Dr. Cox who immediately uttered one of his vintage rants. JD didn't hear a word of it, he was too focused on not smiling too openly; Dr. Cox was wearing pink and black patterned Conserve.

***

JD was finally done with work for the day. He didn't think he'd see the end of that shift. So many problems, so many interns screwing up. He didn't even get to speak to his mentor much. All he wanted was to unwind. As if on cue, his cell phone rang. He was trying to ignore it, wanting to stay home and be lazy. He finally checked the caller and was surprised to see Harrison Kelso's name appear. JD immediately picked it up. "Hey Harrison!"

"Hey JD! I was wondering if you were free. Maybe we could hang out? I saw this great exposition announced, I'm sure you would love it!"

"That would be great!"

And so they planned their evening. JD changed into something a bit nicer. He always liked to look nice but with Harrison he felt like putting an extra effort, seeing how the guy was always spotless even in hospital gowns. It made him feel a little self-conscious.

The exposition was great and Harrison was superb company. Not that JD didn't like his Chocolate bear any less, but he did appreciate having at least one guy friend who liked to talk about art and culture. They talked for a while, drinking coffee in a nice little shop near the gallery. When JD got home, he realized that his bad mood had entirely left him. It was a nice feeling.

From there on, he started seeing Harrison a lot more. They just clicked! It was amazing.

***

"Hey Vanilla bear! I was wondering if you'd like to go out with Carla and me tonight. We haven't done anything in a while."

"Oh. I would have loved to CB but I already have plans."

Turk lost his smile and started frowning. JD felt a little bad; he had been neglecting his other friends in favor of Harrison lately.

"Listen, how about we do what ever you want this week end? We are both free, we can totally go crazy."

"Anything I want?"

"Yup."

Turk's smile came back even wider then before. It made JD smile too, but he still had an odd feeling in his stomach; he didn't know why.

***

JD was sitting nervously on a stool. There was great music, an amazing décor and the bar tender didn't even make a face when one of the guys next to him asked for a Peachtini. The reason JD was feeling a bit awkward was that it was his first time in a gay bar. It was more of a lounge really but still. Harrison had insisted they do something he chose for a change, JD just hadn't expected it to be that.

"Relax, no one is going to molest you. Beside most people are very civilized here. If you say no they'll back off."

"I don't think they will molest me. I'm just not sure how to act."

"Just be your normal self, you'll fit right in, trust me!" Harrison smirked.

"Hey!" JD pouted, leaning on the bar. "Sorry, sorry. I'll make it up to you. What drink do you want? Appletini right?" While Harrison asked the bartender for their drinks, JD saw himself reflected on the glossy counter top. He sure looked gayer today. Harrison had dressed him up so he would "fit in" more easily. It should have been a clue.

Harrison came back; he was holding a light beer and what looked like a Peachtini. "Sorry, they were all out of Appletinis."

"But Peachtinis are…"

"Don't even try to finish that sentence. I'm the one drinking beer here."

JD laughed and loosened. It was a classy place, everyone spoke softly to each other and while it was clearly a gay scene, it didn't feel has over the top as he had expected. He tasted the Peachtini tentatively. It was de-li-ci-ous. And he had been missing out on it for so long just because he was afraid of what people would think.

The evening was very pleasant. JD was really able to speak with Harrison. After two Peachtinis, JD wasn't even shy anymore and he danced with the shorter man. Two other Peachtinis, and he was starting to feel a little handsy. Harrison decided they should start heading out. They took a cab to JD's place upon Harrion's insistence on making sure the Doctor would get there safely.

"You, Harrison Kelso, are a true gentleman" JD said tipsily when they arrived at the entrance of his apartment.

"And you are a lovely lady" Harrison answered smirking. JD tried to shove him with little result.

"Hey. I take my words back. You are mean."

"Aww sorry. Here, I'll make it alright"

The next thing JD knew, Harrison was kissing him. It was brief and soft. Then Harrison stepped back looking a little embarrassed.

"Sorry. I know you don't swing that way. I lose my good judgment after the 5th beer."

JD was looking at him a bit taken aback. He didn't know how to react and those damned Peachtinis were making it hard to focus.

Harrison shifted, clearly uncomfortable. "Well then, I'll be going. Sorry again for the kiss and the evening. I know it's not your style."

Before JD could think about anything he was grabbing Harrison's arm. "No stay. I liked the bar. And the Peachtinis. And you." He knew he sounded like a tipsy girl but he couldn't care less at that moment. He kissed Harrison with the same curiosity he had tasted the peach drink. As it turned out, he liked it a lot. The kiss quickly turned heated and the two men reached JD's room pretty fast.

***

JD woke up comfortable in bed. He had slept like a baby and was now bathing in the cocoon of warmth he was in. When he felt legs tangling with his he started to wake up a little. When he realized that the body next to him was the one of a man he went cold for a moment. The events of the evening before came back to him. Gay Bar. Peachtinis. Harrison. Hot sex.

Okay so he had sex with a man. While he had been drunk he still had been completely willing, that he knew for a fact. Heck Harrison had even tried to get away and he had pulled him back in. So. What now? What did that mean? Did it mean anything at all?

"Freaking out already?" Harrison asked, straightening himself in a half seated position in the bed. He said it pretty lightly, chuckling at JD's surprised expression.

"Well. Actually yes."

"Hahah. Look JD it's more simple then you think."

"Oh is it now?" JD glared at the shorter man has he tried to look serious even thought he was fully naked.

"Yes. Either you chose to ignore this and we remain good friends or you decide to explore this and we go out together. Really, you have no idea how many straight and bi-curious guys hang around the gay scene; you wouldn't be the first one I picked up. I like you a lot. I have no issues with us being just friends because I really didn't expect you to swing that way at all."

JD was perplexed by how calm and unaffected Harrison was acting. He seemed genuinely relaxed. Like all this was more then normal. JD never had that with anyone.

"I… I just need to think for a while I think."

"Fine by me. If you don't mind, I'm just going to take a shower then I'll scram okay?"

"Sure."

Harrison got out of bed. He didn't even look shy in his nakedness. He picked his cloths up and strutted out of the room with no awkwardness. JD's eyes lingered on his ass for a moment then he blushed and quickly looked away.

He really needed some time to think.

***

JD had been avoiding thinking about Harrison for the last few days. He had been more on edge at work because of it, but the only consequences it brought him was longer rants from Dr. Cox because, the man claimed he was being "moppy". He didn't receive any calls from Kelso's only son but that wasn't all that abnormal; they didn't talk everyday after all.

"Hey Vanilla Bear! Ready for the week end?"

"Of course Chocolate bear!"

As it turned out, Turk had just wanted them to go out and play steak. JD of course lost, because he could never eat a 17once steak in that fast. It was like his dear chocolate bear was bottomless. After that, Carla and Elliot joined them for an evening out at the bar.

"I'll be your wing man. You have been date-less for far too long my friend!"

They went to the bar near the hospital as per usual. He ordered an appletini. A beautiful blonde was talking to him. "And so my ex boyfriend was like totally into cars and like he totally…"

JD was nodding to feign interest while his eyes went to the side and he imagined himself driving over the girl with a Monstertruck, yelling. He had been avoiding talking about anything geeky, anything a bit weird, anything gross related to work and anything girly all troughs the conversation. He was doing all that in the hope of getting laid. Of course when you met someone you never showed all the weird and crazy stuff at first but you shouldn't have to be so restricted all the time.

That's when something occurred to him. He didn't have to. No really he didn't. Instead of censoring himself and pretending to care about this insipid conversation in this run down bar sipping an appletini, he could have been in the nice lounge bar with Harrison, talking openly about what ever he wanted and drinking peachtinis and nectarinis and really which ever fruity drinks he wanted without the barman looking at him weird for it. And he could do all that and still have a fair chance of getting laid. And that is when a second thing occurred to him. He really had enjoyed the sex. It had been just as good as with ladies. Different yes but just as satisfying.

"You know what, I'm sorry but I'm already sort of seeing someone. How about I pay you a beer for your trouble?"

JD was thankful that the girl seemed fine with it. He paid her a beer and then went back to talk with his friends.

"Hey… What happened? You two seemed to be hooking up pretty well" Carla asked a bit disappointed.

"Oh something about cars and not liking scooters" JD answered.

"Aw better luck next time! I got your back man." Turk said, giving him a half hug with his free arm, the other holding a beer.

JD himself was just happy to be hanging out with his friends. He knew what he had to do. Tomorrow morning first thing, he would call Harrison.

***

JD and Harrison had been dating for a while now. The shorter man had been very patient and unbothered by all of JD's insecurities about them being a couple. Quicker then JD had expected, he found himself completely at ease with the idea that not only was he dating a man but that he did find men attractive in a more general way too. The two men had been quiet about it at first, seeing has how JD was exploring this new territory. It was now starting to be a problem. Turk and Carla seemed very keen on the idea of finding him someone and JD was running out of good excuses to avoid blind dates. Plus Harrison was beginning to feel like it was time for them to "come out" and be an open couple. JD didn't have a problem with that per se, he was just worried about how everyone would react to the news.

JD let a long sigh out. How was he supposed to do that exactly? His eyes darted to the left and suddenly saw himself with the guys from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy coming in with a cake and showing it to a stunned but star struck hospital crowd. On the cake was written "Yup, his Bi!" Everyone clapped and cheered.

"Good lord Annabelle, if you let out one more sigh like that you are gonna deflate entirely. Now normally your misery would make me very, very happy but seeing has how I'm stuck with you today I'm giving you this tiny window to let it out so that we never, ever, talk about it again much like you would a one night stand."

JD looked stunned at his mentor. He just didn't know what to say or how to react. Was this a trick? Was he going to get mocked, ridiculed or humiliated the second he opened up?

"Window closing hurry up."

"Wait! It's just… I met this fabulous person. And I really like them and we have been going out together for a while but I'm afraid of presenting them to my friends because, that person being who they are could change a lot of things."

JD had spoken really fast and was now fighting a blush. He was already talking like a girl, he was not going to give the satisfaction of seeing him blushing on top of that. had a surprised expression that very quickly turned serious.

"Newbie. If you have found someone that cares for you no matter how much of a prissy lunatic girl you are and that you care for them just as much as you seem to, then by god, you should just go for it. Finding something like that, is, well, invaluable in a world like ours."

"Thank you Doctor Cox. It really means a lot to me…"

"Are you tearing up? Oh. My. God. You are. Window fully closed. You are not to speak, whine or cry around me for the rest of the day Gladice. Am I clear? Now scram before I punch you in the face."

JD nodded and left, knowing better then to ruin the moment.

***

One morning, JD was at the nurse station, talking with Turk and Carla. The day had been surprisingly quiet so far and he took the time to chat up with his friends. When another nurse asked Carla something, Turk turned toward JD, face serious.

"So have you found a girlfriend yet? Because Carla has been busting my nuts about us not having "couple dates" with other couple. Plus, well, you have been pretty quiet about the ladies lately. I'm starting to worry about you."

"Seriously Turk, I'm more then happy right now. I just am."

"Look, I think you have been increasingly good at your job, but work shouldn't stop you from seeing anyone. I know this girl, she looks fiiine. She would be more then pleased to meet a nice young promising doctor like you. What do you say? I hook you two up?"

Those kinds of conversations had grown more and more frequent the past week. It was starting to annoy JD immensely. He breathed to calm himself down.

"No thank you Turk."

"But JD why?"

"Because I'm already seeing someone."

"Wait what? But you keep saying you haven't met any girls!"

"I haven't met any girls."

"You make no sense man. If you haven't met any girl that would mean that…"

"It's a man, yes."

"Wait that's impossible. You like girls."

JD was now past annoyed and was now just irritated. "That would be because I'm bisexual Turk."

"Wait what?"

"BISEXUAL TURK. I'M BISEXUAL"

All the usual noises around the nurse station stopped at once. All eyes turned to them. Nurse Robert was already dialing on the phone. Turk was staring, dumbfounded, mouth hanging. Carla was standing stunned. Doctor Cox, who JD just now realized had been in the room, was looking completely emotionless.

JD gulped. It was going to be okay. Right?

**AN2: **I know the JD/Cox interaction isn't huge in this one but I promise it will *definitely* be the center of the next parts. Also, English is my second language and this is not being beta-ed, so all mistakes are mine! Hope this wasn't completely dreadful.

_**EDIT:**_ The story was not changed in anyway, I just decided to go trough the part another time to correct mistakes that I learned about due to my work with my beta sosaith! Thank her! This was not beta-ed so there is probably some problems, which I apologize for and take full responsibility.


	2. Part 2: My Coming Out

**Title: **My Person (2/?)  
**Author: **scones_better  
**Rating: **PG-13 (I think, if I'm wrong let me know)  
**Genre: **Romance (with dashes of light angst)  
**Summary: **When JD take care of a special patient, he discovers a part of himself he didn't know about. JD/Patient to be JD/Cox in the future.  
**Disclaimer: **I own nothing and make no money out of this. If those characters were mine, they would be, very, very gay.

**AN: **This probably won't make as much sense if you haven't read the first part (My First Peachtini) so I recommend reading that first. This chapter isn't very slashy once more, but I can guarantee that the next chapter will be a lot more substantial in that matter! Also a very big thank you to the lovely sosaith, who is now beta-ing this story! Thank her for reducing the amount of mistakes ;).

**My Person**

_**Part 2: My Coming Out**_

JD was sitting on the couch of the employee living room, staring at the TV without taking in any of the drama that was playing on the usual mid-day soap opera. After his outburst, Turk had been paged and had left in a run. Carla had excused herself smiling, but it had felt stiff. When JD had turned toward Dr. Cox, he realized the older man had already left. He couldn't take the stares so he grabbed his patient's charts and checked on them once more. Fortunately for them, unfortunately for JD, they were all very stable. JD had then brought paperwork to the living room but soon found he could not focus on them, hence the blind staring.

"Hey."

"Oh hey Elliot"

"Can I sit?"

"Sure"

JD scooted over as an invitation, glad that there was one person who seemed to want to talk to him. Elliot sat. She kept shifting and glancing his way.

"Just say it Elliot."  
"Is it true? That you're bisexual? 'Cause I've heard about it and I wanted to know if it was true and if it's not I could verbally kick the ass of whomever has been spreading the rumor. Unless it's true, 'cause that wouldn't be a problem. I mean you know my brother, Barry, was like that. Well partly. He never quite liked the ladies but he did like men. But he was still a very nice person, until he…well hung himself…Please don't hang yourself!"

JD turned to Elliot. Normally her jabbering was hilarious, but as he looked at her face he could see how sincere she was being. She was clearly nervous about how to handle the situation but she seemed genuine in her plea.

"I don't intend to, no. But yes I am."

"So… Both the ladies and the gents, eh?"

"Yup."

"Lucky."

JD had a surprised expression. "What? It means you have a better chance to find the person that is just right for you." Oh. JD hadn't looked at it quite that way. He hadn't expected that reaction from Elliot either.

"But, you're seeing someone right?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"Do I know him?"

"A little, yes."

"Oh my god! Is it Keith? 'Cause I mean he sure had a nice tushy. And it was bit weird that he would mix us up and find his way into your bed."

"Now that you say it, yes it was. But no, it's not him. It's Harrison. Harrison Kelso."

"No way! Ah frick! I have to go JD sorry. But I'm totally behind you two okay?"

Elliot had just been paged. She had smiled while leaving and JD found himself breathing out. There was at least one person he knew the reaction of. That was a positive beginning.

***

JD knew that Turk was avoiding him because the day was a calm one for both of them and yet he never crossed his path. That never happened. They tried to spend time together has often as possible when they were free. So, Chocolate bear was definitely avoiding him. That is why he was now hiding in the corner where the elevators were, waiting for his friend to pass by, ready to ambush him. Well that was the plan, but he had been there for a while and still no Turk in view.

"You are aware you look ridiculous like that right?" The Janitor was passing by with his trolley.

JD was flat against the wall, Mission Impossible style, when he answered in a half whisper. "No, you look ridiculous!" The Janitor always made him speak like he was five again. He hated that. He didn't hear the Janitor's answer because Turk had just entered one of the elevators. JD launched himself in the elevator, just before the door closed.

"DUDE!"

"Ah! No running away now Chocolate Bear."

JD punched the stop button and looked at his friend intently. "Does it bother you that bad?"

Turk's face became very serious and his hands moved as he spoke, the gestures putting emphasis on his words.

"I don't know, man. It's a lot of information. I mean I don't have a problem with gays per se, but it makes me uncomfortable."

"I still like the ladies, too, Turk. It just happens that I like guys, too. And it doesn't have to change things between us. I mean I get it if you want some space to take it all in. But just so you know, you will always remain my friend. I don't have those sorts of feelings for you."

Turk, surprisingly, was offended. "Do you mean I don't look good enough for you? The whole Chocolate Bear stuff is alright for a friend but you would never get down with chocolate in love?"

"No, no! You do look attractive Turk, I just think of you as Carla's other half you know? And you always have been a bit like my brother. I can appreciate how you look without it meaning something you know? Besides you know I'm totally down for the jungle fever."

JD made a small dance moves to really bring it home. It seemed to have been the right thing to do as Turk smiled and joined in. When they were done, JD pushed the button of the elevator once more so it would start moving again.

"So you met someone, you said? Anyone I know?"

"Harrison"

"No way! I knew you liked him but I didn't know you two had hooked up when he was here, naughty JD."

"Haha no, we started to hang out after he left the hospital. Then one night there were peachtinis and things went, well, further."

"No details please! I don't think I want to hear that. But Harrison was great, I'm glad that you two are hooking up."

The elevator stopped and they walked out. Turk hesitated for a minute then hugged JD. "I still love you man." He walked away saying, "Peace out!"

JD smiled as relief washed over him. Losing his best friend would have been devastating. Dr. Cox passed by him but he didn't say anything. JD thought it was odd, but he was far too chipper to put any thought into it.

***

JD had found the courage to go back to the nurses' station. He handed in his paper work. After talking with Turk he had felt calm enough to concentrate on the work. But now he was at the counter and he noticed Carla was busy. Dr. Cox came by to grab a chart and JD saluted him but he got not (no) acknowledgement, which was unusual. Normally he would have been called a girls name or told to bugger off or at the very least gotten glared at, but no, nothing at all. He just left like he hadn't seen JD. JD walked toward Carla smiling.

"Do you know what's up with Dr. Cox?" Carla didn't respond, she was writing something down. JD waited for a moment then said "Are you busy? I can come back later."

"No, no it's okay" Carla said but she didn't look his way.

"Carla what is wrong with you?"

"Nothing!"

She started to walk still not looking at JD. He followed her, now a bit angry.

"Nothing? You won't even look my way."

She stopped in the empty patient room and sighed. She turned his way.

"You're right I'm sorry. It's just… It's just, I don't want you to think I have a problem with you being that way but then it occurred to me that you're always so close to Turk and you two get along so well… I was just afraid that maybe, maybe you would steal him from me. That he would realize he loved you more."

JD was a bit shocked then spoke softly chuckling.

"Don't mock me, I'm serious."

"Carla… That is not going to happen. He's madly in love with you. And he's like my brother. I swear."

"I know... I must sound crazy."

"No it's okay. I mean we are close and sometimes I do ask a lot of attention from him. But Carla I would never do that. Besides, I'm already seeing someone."

"You are?"

"Yup."

The Latina woman's eyes went wide with happiness. "We can finally have couple dates!"

JD laughed out loud. Turk hadn't been exaggerating about that.

***

JD was snuggled against Harrison on the couch. He kissed him behind the ear affectionately. He was so glad for the other man's presence. The day had been draining to say the least and he just wanted some quiet, normal time. He had told Harrison about his day and the other man had been more then supportive. Although all of his friends seemed on their way to accept him, there was one person he hadn't had the chance to talk to. The very few times he had crossed paths with Dr. Cox, he had either been in a hurry or did not notice him. JD sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing really. I'm just worried about Dr. Cox. I didn't get to talk to him all day yesterday. I'm anxious about how he's going to treat me tomorrow."

"You like him a lot don't you?"

"He's my mentor even though he always denies it, so yes I do care. And I know it's terrible to still feel that way at my age, but I do seek his approval on a certain level."

"Well of what I've seen of him when I was at the hospital and what my father has told me - yes he does talk about you guys - he's a good person deep down. Give him some time; I'm sure he'll come around."

"I hope you're right."

JD kissed Harrison softly.

***

JD woke up at the sound of his alarm clock, ready to start a new shift. He had gotten used to Harrison's body next to his pretty fast. The other man shifted next to him, waking up too.

"You know, if you moved in you wouldn't have to always go back home for clothing and all that."  
"JD, I really care about you, but that would be way too fast for me."  
"You are probably right. I always have this tendency to rush things. But you're one of the rare people I've dated who actually didn't rush in with me. I think it's good."

JD smiled genuinely. It faltered a little when he remembered the whole coming out and Dr. Cox thing. Harrison must have sensed it has he leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

"It's going to be alright".

***

Harrison had been wrong. While the day before had been slow, today was chaotic to say the least. JD had been on the run all morning, his pager ever beeping. He barely had time to stop for five minutes and literally swallow down a muffin at the nurses' station before he had to get going again. Plus he barely got to see his Chocolate Bear. And he didn't even get to talk to Dr. Cox or even stay in the same room has the older man for more than a few minutes at a time.

The next day had been similar in pattern. Thankfully the day after that had a more bearable pace. The bad thing about that was that JD was now noticing that Dr. Cox was in fact pretending JD didn't exist whenever they were in the same room. No girls name, no yelling, no rants, nope, just pure indifference. It was chipping away at his very soul, piece by piece. It was more painful than anything his mentor had ever done in the past. His friends were trying to cheer him up, but there was little they could do. They weren't the problem after all.

JD sighed. He was wondering if it had been worth it. This whole coming out thing had nearly ruined all of his relationships. Not that he didn't think Harrison was worth it, but it had been much harder than he had expected it to be.

JD crossed paths with Dr. Cox on his way to the nurses' station. "Hi Dr. Cox" came out of his mouth out of habit. He felt a pang when the man passed right by him without even glancing his way. JD sighed.

When lunchtime came, JD experienced the worst moment so far. The very moment he entered the cafeteria, his mentor had thrown away his half-eaten lunch and left the room. JD went to sit with Turk and Carla who both had been sharing the table with the now absent man. They glanced at each other and then at JD, concern written all over their faces.

"JD… I'm sure it's not what it looks like," Carla tried.

"If the jackass doesn't come around for this one, then he's really not worth your attention."

"Turk!"

"Baby don't even try to defend him. He had to be pushed to help JD out when his dad died. I have no problem believing the man has issues, but he can't keep dumping on JD like that. I won't have it."

"It's okay. No really, the silence is a nice change," JD lied and smiled. He knew he hadn't fooled them and they knew that he knew. They changed the subject to something lighter.

JD's mood worsened when he realized he had to check on Mrs. Bloom. She was one of the most ungrateful and unkind middle-aged women JD had ever met. He took a breath in to prepare himself and entered, smiling. "Hello Mrs. Bloom. How are you this morning?"

"Decent." JD stared surprised. That was the most polite the patient had ever been to anyone.

JD checked the woman's vitals, thankfully stable. The woman seemed to be responding to the medication so far. "I think you might be on your way to recovery Mrs. Bloom."

The woman nodded. She had been staring at JD the whole time. "If you need anything from me, just let me know." JD was about to leave. "Wait. I have something for you." JD turned, surprised. The woman never said thank you, so receiving something from her was unheard of. The woman took JD's wrist and passed a band around it. She smiled, or at least JD took it as a smile, and then said, "A lot of patients would appreciate if you wore that. More than you think."

JD looked down, it was a rainbow colored plastic band. JD was confused for a moment then remembered the rainbow flags he had seen near the lounge where he had first hooked up with Harrison. Oh. OH. He blushed a little and muttered a "thank you" to Mrs. Bloom and left.

***

Two weeks had passed and Dr. Cox was still ignoring JD. The young doctor was preparing for his shift. Harrison wrapped his arms around JD. He was always more affectionate when he felt his boyfriend was sad.

"You know, maybe I could come by this week, for lunch or something. Dr. Cox seemed to like me when I was over, maybe it would help if he saw you with a nice person."

JD smiled at his boyfriend in the mirror. "That could actually work. He still wears your Converse shoes by the way." Laughter filled the small bathroom.

Since Dr. Cox had taken to ignoring him completely, JD had decided on a new strategy. Whenever they were in the same room, and JD made sure it happened often, he would just talk to the older man nonstop. At first he had been careful about the topics he talked about, but a week ago, he had started to poke at all the subjects that would normally have earned him an earful. He blabbered about his patients, his opinion on different life topics, hair products, girly stuff, geeky stuff and even his weird daydreams. JD wouldn't have been able to prove it, but he was sure the man listened to him. There was just something in his posture. The younger man was still hurting at the rejection but he was determined for them to at least talk about it once, even if that meant that Dr. Cox would clearly state that he hated him now. JD would have given a lot to get a long rant, heck at this point he would even take a "Ginger". That is why he persisted. This morning his monologue was about how he loved to steal Elliot's beauty products.

"She has the best lavender shampoo I have ever used. It's far better than the cheap stuff; you can totally smell the difference. When you open the bottle it literally smells like you're running in a field of flowers…"

JD eyes went to the left. Dr. Cox was glancing right and left to see if anyone was watching him. He opened the shampoo bottle and as he breathed in the scent, he suddenly found himself in a field of flowers, wearing a white dress. He started running and giggling.

"You would never giggle… or wear a white dress" JD said snapping out of it. Dr. Cox's back straightened a little at that sentence.

The rest of the day went on like the past two weeks had. He took care of all his patients and paperwork while finding time to follow his mentor around and talk nonsense to him. He knew his friends didn't quite approve of his behavior (he knew it probably looked desperate) but he couldn't help it. He needed things to work out.

Then one afternoon, when he was in the bathroom washing his hands, Dr. Cox entered. He had stopped leaving the room when he saw JD and would just pretend he was not there, which hurt even more in retrospect. The leaving at least meant that he saw him.

JD started singing to himself as he dried his hands, his sleeves rolling down exposing his rainbow colored band.

"Good lord Newbie, are you that desperate? Do you really need to flaunt it that much?"

JD was stunned. Dr. Cox had talked to him, for the first time since he came out, three weeks ago.

"What are you talking about? I'm just singing the theme song to my favorite show –" He was interrupted by Dr. Cox grabbing his arm forcefully. What on earth was he doing? JD half-closed his eyes, expecting a punch in the face. When it never came, he peeked through his eyelids only to see his mentor pulling at the rainbow band in disgust. JD was suddenly filled with an anger he had rarely felt in the past. All the things he had been thinking about the past weeks came out in one go.

"It was a gift from Mrs. Bloom. Turns out she thinks a lot of patients would appreciate the gesture. And you know what? If it helps any of them feel better I sure as hell won't hide it. For someone who gave me a speech about loving "the gays", you sure have been acting like a homophobe. Did it ever occur to you that LGBT (he had learned the term while talking with Harrison, when he had mistaken the 4 letters for a BLT sandwich with Guacamole) patients would feel comforted to see a reassuring symbol? Just like people of color are reassured when they see that the staff isn't all white. The difference is they are an invisible minority, and before I came out I never got how it felt to be cast out for something that isn't even visible to the eye or controllable. Thanks to you I had a five-star treatment reality check like only Perry Cox can give you."

JD jerked his arm out of the grasp, which surprised both men. He got out of the bathroom has fast has possible. He was in deep shit, he was sure of it.

***

The following day, JD spent the morning taking care of his patients while hiding from Dr. Cox. They hadn't talked since the day before and he had a feeling he was going to get his ass kicked. He was glad to see that it was now lunchtime; Harrison had promised to come by for moral support after JD had told him about his little outburst.

JD entered the cafeteria and smiled when he saw his boyfriend already seated with Carla, Elliot and Turk. JD bought his food and sat next to Harrison. They exchanged a short kiss, oblivious to the world around them. The air grew tense as Dr. Cox approached their table.

"Hey Harrison, if Ginger here is too much of a leech let me know, I'll make sure to keep her busy."

"I'll be sure to let you know. By the way pink is so your color."

"Oh, shut up."

Dr. Cox smiled a little and the whole atmosphere softened. They all talked and laughed. Harrison had to leave, he kissed JD goodbye. The young Doctor knew at that very moment that his feelings were growing, becoming stronger.

"You coming, Newbie?"

It was going be all right.

**AN2: **I know Dr. Cox comes off as a total jackass but the next part will explain a lot of it, so stay tuned ;) Again, sorry for any mistakes or odd syntax.


	3. Part 3: His Introspection

**Title: **My Person (3/?)

**Author: **scones_better

**Rating: **PG-13 (I think, if I'm wrong let me know)

**Genre: **Romance (with dashes of light angst)

**Summary: **When JD take care of a special patient, he discover a part of himself he didn't know about. JD/Patient to be JD/Cox in the future.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing and make no money out of this. If those characters were mind, they would be, very, very gay.

**AN: **This was particularly challenging to write but I hope you guys will like it. Again a big thank you to (sosaith) for beta-in and making-this way easier to read for all of you folks. She really has the patience of an angel! Also, thank you to my girlfriend who listened to me ramble about this in lengthy details. I'm hoping you guys won't hate it, I'm really doubting this one. Well, hopefully, enjoy!

**My Person**

_**Part 3: His Introspection**_

Perry woke up with the certitude that today was going to be hell; he had a killer migraine (probably because of his high blood pressure), he had a double shift at the hospital and he was in a lousier mood than usual. Plus he just had a sixth sense about those sorts of things. Some people could tell when it was going to rain; Percival Ulysses Cox could predict when a day was going to epically suck. Knowing this, Perry was not surprised when Kelso requested him in his office.

"What do you want Bobo? My time is very precious, because I, unlike you, don't spend my day sitting in a chair. I actually help the patients that come in, regardless of what their assurance policies are willing to pay…"

He growled as he was being interrupted by the shorter, older man. "Yes, yes Perry, you care and I don't. Long impressive angry speech, we all know the routine." Perry would have replied to that, but Bob's face was now very serious. "Listen Perry, I'm asking you this because I believe you will understand the importance of the situation. My son, Harrison, isn't doing so great. I would like you to take care of him while he is here."

Not even a year ago, Perry would have verbally given the finger to Kelso. He would never even have stopped to think about doing a favor for the old man. Unfortunately, Newbie had proven that doing something good for the chief of medicine could play in his favor. While he hated the fact that he had listened to the kid in the first place, he hated the fact that he was listening to him now when he wasn't even around even more.

"I'll do it." Perry said tightly.

"What?"

"Don't make me repeat myself or I might change my mind."

Perry left the office, rubbing the arch of his nose, wishing the increasing headache would go away. Dealing with the no doubt spoiled, annoying child of the chief of medicine would not help with his migraines. He entered Harrison's room briskly, prepared to deal with Satan's spawn.

Perry Cox never had been so happy to be wrong. As it turned out, the young man was the kind of patient he quickly got fond of. He was a plucky, snappy, smart man who had threatened him with scissors when Perry had called him "Mister Kelso".

"Girl, if you ever call me like that again, I will cut every single one of your precious red curls and I will not make it pretty."

"Fine by me, I wouldn't want anyone to call me Mr. Cox either."

He'd be damned if he'd ever want his father's name, that much he could concede to the kid. A couple of tests later, he had already diagnosed Harrison and explained the treatment he would start him on. Perry was pretty sure that the kid would have no problem pulling through the liver disease but he still wanted someone else monitoring him, as a back up, in case he was stuck some place. He was not going to let that kid die. Harrison was way too much fun to hang around.

His mind automatically went to JD as his back up plan. Newbie was showing a lot more strength and focus these days. He was improving as a doctor and he really was able to keep up with everything going around in the hospital. Months of therapy permitted Perry to say that he, sort-of-might-sort of-maybe-care-a-little for him. Newbie had crept in his life without Perry's consent, and was now part of his daily routine. Heck, he was capable of using his brain sometimes, which was more than most people around him. These days he was even bearable company. Besides, his only other choice would be Barbie and even if she was on the same level as JD, Perry was not going through the hell of listening to Elliot and Harrison gab about hair and boys all day.

Or so he thought. JD, as it turned out, really, re-ha-lly got along with the kid. Perry found it incredibly amusing how Newbie didn't realize he had more in common with a gay guy than with most of his straight male friends. Harrison, on the other hand, was perfectly aware of it and made fun of JD's girly-ness too, admittedly in a less forceful way than he did himself, but it was still great entertainment to watch Newbie blush and squirm under their united effort.

When he got home that night, he went to serve himself a scotch and stopped mid motion. His headache had completely vanished. He decided against the drink, seeing that he didn't feel he had a reason for it anymore.

***

"Steffani, where are the tests I asked you for 15 minutes ago?"

"They weren't ready when I went to get them earlier. I'm going to fetch them right away. Nice to see you Harrison!"

Perry growled as Newbie left.

"Calm down big boy, I'm sure he told the truth."

Perry glared at Harrison. The kid really didn't fear him one bit. He actually enjoyed his gustiness but being called "big boy" by a scrawny gay man brought vivid pictures to his mind that he really didn't need or want.

"Want some sugar from daddy?" Perry countered, smirking.

"Haha. Don't propose what you won't deliver. It's not nice to tease the ill."

"Yes, your case and my cancer girl in room 203, totally the same."

"Tsk tsk. I can't even use this at my advantage. Damn liver disease and its high recovery rate! By the way, why don't you ever call him JD? I've been here for over a week and you always refer to him as either Newbie or a random girl name."

"SO not random! Monday is for Hispanic names, Tuesday is for old movie stars, Wednesday for Pop singers, Thursday is for classic names and Friday is free pass. Of course, there are some exceptions, like when I want to point out something in particular, like his hair being too long. " Perry crossed his arms over his chest as he spoke to he younger man, smirking happily.

"Ahhh. Hence the Rapunzel. You sure thought a lot about it if you came up with an actual schedule. You are sure you are not giving some sugar to his cute little tushy?" Harrison smirked in turn.

"Filthy, filthy boy! I should wash that mouth out with soap!" Perry answered, waving his index in a disapproving manner.

"Here are the results Dr. Cox!" Newbie entered the room like an excited puppy would have.

"Thank you Belinda."

The girl names had started as a way to annoy the hell out of the kid and make Perry's days so much more enjoyable. Plus, the kid really had feminine tendencies, and Perry knew it was a bit unfair but lord, even Harrison was not that much of a girl, and the guy was pretty darn effeminate. Besides, it made Newbie miserable, making it that much more agreeable for Perry. Okay, he could admit, to himself at least, that he did not want JD to be completely miserable. For example when his dad died, Perry found no joy in it at all. Even bastards could show a little compassion in those moments. Perry could anyway. No, the misery that he enjoyed was the tiny ego poke: pretty harmless in the big picture, but oh so fun to witness. But now the names were a barrier. Newbie was becoming to present in his life, more and more each day, and he would be damned before he'd let him think they were friends. The kid was already fixated on the idea that he was his mentor; anything that could put a distance between them was a blessing. Because it was getting to close for comfort and the last time that happened, his "friend" had convinced Jordan to sleep with him, ending their relationship in a dreadful divorce.

"Well what are you standing there for? You have other patients that need caring. GO!"

JD scampered away. Perry watched him leave, when he realized he had been staring he went back to the test results. He frowned as a migraine started to throb in his head.

***

Perry was incredibly happy; for once, he had great news to deliver. Harrison was responding exceptionally well to the medication and should be well enough to leave in the near future. Perry was walking quickly toward the patient's room when he saw something that made him stop.

JD was sitting on the bed, getting his hair cut. He was smiling and talking animatedly with Harrison. It wasn't something unusual, but the whole picture had a strange feeling of intimacy. Perry rubbed the arch of his nose when he felt the beginning of a new headache; no way was he letting a migraine ruin his moment.

As he entered the room he automatically fell into a speech, which immediately earned him the attention of the two men. Harrison was unbothered by it, simply chuckling and finishing the haircut. Remembering the news he had to deliver, Perry could not help but let his happiness show, smiling as he spoke.

"I have good news. You are responding to the medication exceptionally well. You'll be out of here in a couple of days. You are one lucky bastard; you wont have to set one foot in the OR all thanks to Moi! So keep resting. And don't be afraid to throw Pumpkin out when you get tired of her girly gabbing."

Harrison invited him to stay with them to celebrate. Perry hesitated for a moment, unsure if he was interrupting a conversation between the two men. The happy faces on both of them made Perry pull a chair and join them. God, Newbie's smile was so big and bright he could have blinded someone. Perry resisted the urge to wipe it off young doctor's face and decided to just enjoy the moment. Victories and good news were on the rare side and he learned to cherish those moments. They made it all worth it.

***

"Prethy shoos!"

Perry looked down at his son Jack. The toddler had been playing with blocks but was now admiring the pink and black Converse his dad was wearing. Perry groaned. He was hoping that this was just Jack showing good taste and that his son was not going to be a second JD. Perry had received the shoes when he had said goodbye to Harrison. "Real men wear pink and get away with it" the gay man had said. And he was right. Plus those things were damn comfortable.

Jack was now pulling at one of his legs. Once he got his father's attention he was raisig his arms up. "You're almost 3, I can't hug you and hold you all the time kiddo." At the perplexed and confused face of his son, he sighed and picked him up.

"You and that therapist are making me so damn soft."

His son giggled. If he didn't know how children's brains worked, he would have been sure the toddler was mocking him. Truth be told, Perry loved Jack. He was even able to tolerate Jordan for him. It was easier since she wasn't there all that much. He didn't quite hate her, but he was definitely not ready to welcome her back in just yet. He had also reduced his alone drinking time a lot. He was determined to be a much better father than his had been. At least for the few afternoons he spent with his son.

***

*SIGH*

Perry glared at JD. The kid had been sporting the whole "kicked puppy" look for the past few days. While Perry appreciated the fact that Newbie wasn't just blabbering about his feelings like he usually did, the constant moping was driving him nuts.

*SIGH*

Okay that was it. Perry could hardly believe he was going to ask JD about his life but he figured the whining would be over way faster than the constant long faces.

"Good lord Annabelle, if you let out one more sigh like that you are gonna deflate entirely. Now normally your misery would make me very, very happy but seeing that I am stuck with you today I'm giving you this tiny window to let it all out so that we never, ever talk about it again, much like you would a one night stand."

Newbie was standing there dumbfounded. Well if he wasn't going to jump on this opportunity Perry was taking it back. The ultimatum made the younger doctor react and immediately empty his heart out. He was still such a girl.

All of the jabbering finally processed into Perry's brain. Newbie had been dating? Laverne had said nothing about that. Not that Perry wanted to know those things, but the nurse would just spit them out to anyone who was around her long enough to hear it. If she hadn't heard about that then surely no one had. Whoever the kid was dating seemed to have made quite an impression on him. He had never spoken of any of his past girlfriends that way. Perry knew that, because he often had to threaten the kid so he would shut the hell up about whomever he was dating. Not to mention that for once, it had not affected JD in his work. If the kid had actually managed to find someone that great, then Perry really envied him. He still felt like crushing those happy feeling but he resisted the urge and said the right thing; to keep the damn girl if she was that great. Give hell to anyone who said other wise.

Perry was proud of himself. Controlling the urge of crush happy moments was something he had been working on a lot in therapy.

Oh Lord. Newbie was starting to tear up. Way too intimate for comfort. Perry could never stand crying girls. He had to make the kid leave before he did something that would ruin the whole positive speech he just gave him. And of course, to top it all off, he could feel a headache starting. That was not encouraging him too keep up the good behavior.

***

Perry was in a shitty mood. He had had little sleep due to one of his patient who had decided to code every half hour or so. The man had kicked the bucket just few minutes before the second part of his shift started which really had pissed Perry off. After all this work, he would have appreciated if the patient had stayed alive a little longer. The rest of the morning was un-eventful, which was never a good sign. If there was no patient drama there definitely was going to be a personal one. Perry hated personal drama. Running around to save a patient all night, that was his job, that was a rush but personal life drama? That just sapped his will to live right out of him. Better keep busy then. Perry was on his way to the nurses station when he saw Newbie and his black better half talking discreetly to each other. Great that way JD was not going to bother him.

Perry decided that all things considered, he hated being proven wrong.

"BISEXUAL TURK. I'M BISEXUAL"

Perry went completely blank. He grabbed a chart at random and walked out of the room on autopilot. In fact, Perry's mind didn't come back to him until he realized that he was about to fill Jack's sippy cup with scotch and his shot glass with milk. This could not happen. None of this could happen. Perry decided at this very moment that JD had said nothing. In fact there was no Newbie in his life. A lot of shit could have been avoided if the kid hadn't been there in the first place. Yup, what he had to do was now very clear. Newbie didn't exist from this moment.

***

The first few days of Perry's plan were completely blissful. Silence and peace were his at last. He had wished for this for, well, years. After a week, he realized he kept glancing back to see if JD was following him. He was not disappointed when he saw the kid wasn't walking with him anymore. He wasn't. Nor did he find the silence oppressive when he realized there was really no one he could tolerate talking to, except Carla. Nope, not at all.

Perry was a real man after all. He didn't get lonely. He didn't miss people's presence. He could live perfectly on his own.

The reason he didn't leave the room where Newbie was had nothing to do with the other man's presence. It was purely to make work easier.

On the second week Perry was happy to see his plan working. He was. The only problem he had was his persisting and increasing migraines. But he could take that pain, it was nothing compared to anything else in his life. Besides, it should resolve itself with all the peace and quiet he had now. By the end of that week, Perry was able to admit, he did mind not having the kid around. It was fun to verbally abuse him. Yeah, an easy way to unleash is anger and frustration. That's what he missed. Really.

On the third week Newbie started to literally stalk him. He was everywhere Perry went. Talking all the time. Perry was not happy about that. Okay fine he was a little. No one really talked to him here, and patients don't make for the most interesting conversations. So yes, he was listening to JD talk a little. Not that he cared what the kid said. Some of it was pretty great blackmail material to keep for future use. Not that there was going to be any future in which he would talk to JD. It was only a figure of speech. At first, JD's monologues had been pretty plain and innocent, but since Perry was giving him the cold shoulder, the kid was dishing the juicier stuff, probably as an attempt to provoke him.

So far he had learned that JD went to theater camp. That his parent had wanted a daughter and had treated JD like a girl for a couple of years, which explained so much really. That his fantasies were even weirder than Perry had first suspected. That sex with a man was just great; at which point Perry had discreetly left for the bathroom because he was not about to get details on that no matter how open minded he might be.

So okay, he missed JD. Big deal. He had worked with the kid everyday for years, a bond was meant to happen. Newbie literally considered him a mentor; a father figure and he kept setting Perry up in that role. It was normal Perry felt a certain affection for the kid after all they went through. What he felt for him was his paternal instinct, probably emphasized by the fact that Jack was in his life and made that side of him come out more. And now he was sounding like his therapist. Great. He needed scotch. Lots of it. His therapist would not agree, which made Perry long for the bottle even more.

***

Perry entered the hospital bathroom. He groaned internally as he heard JD singing to himself. Some things never stopped being annoying no matter how much you might care for someone. He glanced briefly in Newbie's general direction. He blinked as he saw a rainbow band on the kid's skinny wrist. Before any thought registered, he was grabbing JD arms forcefully, barking at him. Perry was stunned and speechless when JD actually had the guts to give him an earful and liberate himself from Perry's grip. Admittedly he wasn't holding him all that tightly but Newbie had shown more strength than normally.

Perry stood there for a while, surrounded by urinals and silence, migraine starting.

***

"You know your time has started right?"

Perry glared at his therapist. The man had put up with him for the past few years. There had been friction and threats, but so far Perry had not made the Doctor run away. That, in itself, was remarkable. The therapist was also absolutely unafraid of him, which was both an annoyance and a blessing.

"Fine. You know this intern I told you about."

"Yes, the one who is insane enough to follow you around. I remember."

Perry growled. "He came out 3 weeks ago. I completely ignored him from that moment. Blocked him out completely. Didn't speak to him or acknowledge him until today. The worst part his I can't figure out why."

"Do you have a problem with diverging sexual orientation?"

"Heck no. Never been a problem. I love the gay community. Gay men have excellent taste. Great music. When I was an intern, the closest to a friend I had back then was a lesbian. I treat people from that community all the time. I'm totally flattered when I a guy check me out."

"Then the problem isn't that he's gay"

"He's bisexual actually"

"Bisexual then. That's clearly not the problem. Your problem lies in the fact that it's this particular intern who is bisexual."

"Wow. Braaah-vo! That is such a re-diiii-cu-loooous idea. Why on earth would I care who Newbie bonks? The only time I cared was when he was doing it with my ex-wife's sister because that meant I had to spend time with the kid outside of work. Or when he did it with Elliot because I was sure to have to deal with the repercussions at work. I re-ha-lly don't care who he gets rejected by."

His therapist was looking at him with his usual "you're pathetic" face.

"How long have you two been working together?"

"A couple of years, I really don't see what it has to do with any-"

"And you still refer to him as Newbie? I'm betting he's the same intern you call girl names. You don't think that it's a bit strange? You purposely reduce him to an inferior or destroy his image as a strong, complete man. You feel threatened by him and by refusing to call him by his actual name, you create a distance between the two of you. At the same time you actually listen to him, care for his opinion of you and spend most of your waking hours with him. You both want and refuse any form of closeness with him."

"Does this crazy talk have a point 'Doc?"

"I think you know exactly why you are not talking to him. His coming out has triggered feelings you have clearly been repressing and that you don't want to face. And because you know your usual reaction, anger, won't work you decided to go even deeper in denial by refusing to acknowledge him."

"What are you trying to say? That the fact that he's into men makes me afraid of being "close" to him or caring for him? I care for the kid and I know it. The simple fact that I'm able to say it is proof of that. Calling him girl names doesn't mean I'm afraid of him, its just means that he has already crept into my life enough as it is. And his such a girl to start with! He follow me around like a puppy all day and he treats me like I'm his father for crying out loud! I'm not his father! I don't want to be his father figure! Or his mentor for that matter."

"Because you don't want him to like you that way. You want to be more to him"

"Exactly! I … What? Shit."

Realization hit Perry like a slap in the face. He sat back down, only now aware that he had risen up during his speech. Perry had very slowly, one day at a time, for over 3 years, developed feelings for JD. It had started with hate, then dislike, then tolerance, then indifference and then care. He wasn't calling him girl names simply for the fun of it anymore. It was because that way, JD became an ugly girl to whom Perry couldn't be attracted. Just like calling him Newbie meant he was still too immature to be taken seriously in any romantic way. As long as JD was straight it meant that Perry had not an inkling of a chance and so he could just push all those thoughts away. The coming out had revived them and he had not been ready to face them. Because that would mean he liked JD far more than he had believed. Because it would mean that Perry was having feelings for a man. Because it would mean that Perry would have even more chances to screw things up between them, and beside Carla, the kid was the closest he had to a friend. It meant re-evaluating everything. So instead he had shunned JD. Because dumping and pushing away was what Perry did best in those situations.

"I have feelings for him."

"Yes"

"Well, shit."

Perry had spoken in empty voice. Staring at some random spot in front of him.

***

Perry had been staring at the bottle of scotch for half an hour now. He was impressed with himself; just a few months ago it would have been half empty by now. And a year ago he would have been completely drunk. But no, he was being reasonable. Besides, Perry knew it was absolutely not worth it. When Percival Cox had feelings for someone, no amount of booze made them go away. In fact, if he drank in those situations, he tended to make big mistakes. Life was shitty enough; Perry didn't feel like making it worse.

The problem was, Perry had never been very good with the whole introspection crap. He was used to yelling and smashing things. He closed his eyes and massaged his forehead. He didn't even know the extent of his feeling s or what to do with them. What was he supposed to do when he saw JD? It then occurred to Perry that he had a far more important problem. How was he going to mend their relationship? He had ignored the kid for 3 whole weeks. Even Perry wouldn't think low of him if he refused to forgive him.

Okay, so, new plan. Perry Cox was going to get JD to forgive him. He stared at the scotch bottle a little longer.

How the fuck was he supposed to do that?

***

When Perry arrived to work, he decided to simply start the day fresh. When he'd cross JD's path he would say hi to him. Just to break the ice. He had absolutely no faith it would work but his only other idea was to tackle JD and force him to talk to him, which he was pretty sure most people wouldn't agree with.

Newbie, unfortunately, had other plans. Perry had not seen him all morning and was now on his way to the cafeteria. As he got in line to get his food, he spotted Carla and Turk who where sitting with … Harrison? JD joined them and kissed his boyfriend.

The first thing that came up in Perry's mind was that he wanted to punch Harrison. Then he realized that he liked Harrison and the urge to punch him was highly reduced.

"Sir?"

The cafeteria lady was looking at him oddly. Perry realized that he had not taken anything from the line and was now at the register. He quickly grabbed a sandwich on the side and grunted at the lady. Perry had to decide his next move quickly. He decided to just go for it. Has he approached the table he felt all the eyes turning to him. Perry decided that just being his "normal" self would be the best way to approach it.

"Hey Harrison, if Ginger here is too much of a leech let me know, I'll make sure to keep her busy."

"I'll be sure to let you know. By the way pink is so your color."

"Oh, shut up."

Perry smiled a little, hoping the light banter would suffice for now. He literally felt the air lighten and he sat with them. When Harrison left and kissed JD, Perry found that the urge to punch did not come back. That didn't mean his strong hands weren't gripping the table tightly.

Perry saw the time and got up. Now was the real challenge, if Newbie didn't respond to him he knew he'd have trouble.

"You coming, Newbie?"

JD got up and quickly followed him. He had a guarded expression, for which Perry felt slightly guilty. He couldn't blame the kid. Besides, he knew they were going to have to talk about that whole mess since JD had the need to exteriorize his feelings. This way Perry was buying himself some time to explore those "feelings".

Perry's face softened a little as he realized that his persistent headache was almost completely gone. Well shit, he had done something right.

**AN2:** I just wanted to warn you all that I will be busy next week with "real life" stuff. This will slow down my writing considerably so expect a bigger delay. On the bright side, I have already outlined my ideas for part IV so when I will have time to write it should go pretty smoothly!


	4. Part 4: My Weirdest Meal

**Title: **My Person (4/?)

**Author: **scones_better

**Rating: **PG-13 (I think, if I'm wrong let me know)

**Genre: **Romance (with dashes of light angst)

**Summary: **When JD take care of a special patient, he discover a part of himself he didn't know about. JD/Patient to be JD/Cox in the future.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing and make no money out of this. If those characters were mine, they would be, very, very gay.

**AN: **At last, part IV! I was moving out so that took a lot of my free time. When I finally got around to work on the fanfic, the first draft I wrote was absolutely dreadful and I had to completely rework it *coughrewriteitcough*. As usual you should all thanks the fabulous sosaith my amazing beta and made it readable for all of you!

**My Person**

_**Part 4: My Weirdest Meal**_

JD was happy; things were normal again. Okay, so he still didn't know why Dr. Cox had ignored him, but for now he was ready to drop it. He just wanted things to calm down a little before poking at the issue. The gossip about him had started to fade away too, for which he was grateful. At Sacred Heart, you could be on everyone's lips for a week then forgotten the next.

JD was walking next to Dr. Cox when a male nurse, a murse as he liked to call them, winked at him. A blush colored his face. While JD liked both genders, he still wasn't used to the attention he was receiving from his male colleagues. Well, okay, with his girly features he had had some attention from guys before but it felt different now that he actually was interested in them.

"For god's sake Delilah, stop blushing like you're some white virgin maiden! I know, the guys are giving you attention this month, but PLEEE-AH-SE trust me when I say this, they only do so because you are new on the menu. They will tire of you when they realize you are no different then the other pasty white boring gals around here."

JD's blush intensified; he didn't ask for the attention it just happened. Then JD's face lit up in a knowing smile. "Wait a minute. You've noticed guys checking me out?"

"Oh come on, a blind person could have noticed. They are not that slick."

"You know what's slick? The Todd's moves in the sack"

The Todd had popped out of nowhere as he usually did. He was wearing a rainbow colored bandana and holding his right hand out, ready for a high five.

"No high five, Dr. Cox?"

JD left while Dr. Cox gave a speech to the surgeon. He had to check on Mrs. Bloom. She had been a bit more cooperative ever since his coming out, but she still had a terrible temper. JD smiled a little; she had started to thank him, something she didn't do with anyone else, not even Carla who normally was adored by all her patients.

***

JD was sitting on the couch watching Harrison groom his hair in front of the living room mirror. He sighed in satisfaction. Work was going well, he had a fabulous boyfriend with a fabulous butt and he hadn't screwed up his love life just yet. It could not get better then this.

"Dr. Cox said he noticed guys checking me out. He said they aren't exactly subtle, but I still think he noticed because he cares, no matter what he says."

JD frowned when he heard Harrison sigh in irritation. Harrison was usually a happy person so this display of negative emotions was pretty unusual for him.

"What's wrong?" Harrison turned toward JD and looked at him intently.

"Nothing… It's just… JD, you always talk about Dr. Cox. I mean I get that he's important to you but I thought it would level out once you two were back to normal. Why do you care so much about his opinion of you or if he notices you? "

"I can't believe it. You, Harrison Kelso, are jealous of Dr. Cox. He is like a father to me!"

"Oh yes, all 33 years old men talk about their fathers in this glorified way you do! You crave is approval beyond measure! Heck, you even spend more time than you need to at the hospital just to be in his good grace! We barely go out anymore and we wouldn't have sex half the time either if I didn't instigate it. Actually, we wouldn't see each other all that much if I didn't make the effort."

"I never thought I'd say this to anyone in my life, but not everything is about sex you know! Whenever I try to bring some emotional stuff up you close off. You wouldn't have to make plans for us to meet all the time if you just had moved in, but noooo! That would mean we might actually be a long term couple and god forbid you would stop being this playboy that Kelso always talk about."

"Yes JD, you are the living proof that rushing things is totally the way to go! With all the stories I heard about you, I don't think you are well placed to judge me about how I deal with my emotions."

JD shut his mouth tightly and looked away, unable to look at Harrison. That comment stung more then the others. He knew people talked about him and his relationship mess-ups but he didn't know it was that bad. And here he was, messing up again. He knew Harrison wasn't completely wrong in his accusations but it bothered him that Harrison himself wasn't even able to talk about serious matters. Just when the silence was about to become too heavy, Harrison spoke again, in a much calmer voice.

"You are right. I'm sorry. I do believe that moving in together is too fast but you are right about me being too distant. But I do take us, you, seriously. As a proof of this, I want to invite you to a diner with my family."

"You are serious?"

"Dead serious"

"I don't think I have ever been so happy!"

"I'm glad you are saying yes. I was afraid you might not be to keen on the idea."

"Why? I clearly stated that I wanted us to be closer."

"Yeah well, personally I'd be afraid of having dinner with my boss, especially if he happened to be my boyfriend's father."

"Oh shizzle!"

JD had completely forgotten that Harrison's family were the Kelsos. His newfound smile lost of its shine at that realization.

"You forgot he was my father didn't you?"

"Yeah... Yeah I did"

Harrison gave him a kiss. JD could do this. He could.

***

"You are so going to get grilled!"

"Turk! Not encouraging!"

"I'm just glad I'm not in your shoes. Not only are you meeting your boyfriends family, his father is your boss. Oh my god. Does that mean that if you break up with Harrison you are going to get fired?"

"That would be unethical. Kelso would never… Oh god he would."

"You are so screwed."

"Now, now Newbie, how many times do I have to tell you that I REA-HA-LLY don't want to hear about the details of your very vanilla and geeky sexual life?"

JD squirmed in surprise. He hadn't heard Dr. Cox coming at all. He started walking with him.

"We were not talking about sex!"

"Don't care."

"Actually, I would love to get your input on this. I mean, you have known Dr. Kelso for years now… Is there anything I really should know to avoid problems with him or his wife?"

"I thought I had been clear on the hating Dr. Kelso and not associating with him or anyone who knows him part? Are you really going to make me repeat myself again, Juliet, cause I swear to god—"

"Yes, yes Perry, big speech. We heard it all before. I'm serious when I say you need to find something new. Oh and see you this evening, Dr. Dorian. I hope you like tuna casserole."

As Dr. Kelso walked away JD gulped. Tuna casserole was the devil's meal.

"You are going to Kelso's? Why don't you just bend over and take it while you're at it! I don't even understand how you got him to agree to something like that in the first place."

"Well, Harrison thought it was about time I met his family. We are starting to get serious, and that sounded like the right next step."

"Oh. Well good for you JD... Let's see how long it will take you to screw up this time."

JD was surprised at his mentor's attitude. His last insult had sounded so empty. JD knew that because he had spent the last few years being insulted daily by the older man. He could tell the different degrees of hate in them and this one had felt flat, like it had been added as an after though. JD didn't get to think about that much longer. His pager went off. He started running right away; a patient was crashing.

***

"JD your hair is perfect. Stop worrying, it's going to be fine."

JD let his hands drop to his side. He then decided to close the passenger seat's mirror before he got the urge to fix his hair for the hundredth time. Even though the ride to the Kelsos' was only about twenty minutes, JD felt like he barely had the time to breathe before they arrived.

The house looked like what JD had expected it to. Generous in size but not over the top, the house was clearly not modern but had been taken care of meticulously over the years. There were big green bushes surrounding it like gigantic walls made of leaves. JD thought it fitted Dr. Kelso's personality, as did the little stone angels ornamenting the lawn (the man did wear Hawaiian shirts after all).

They knocked on the door and in the few seconds it took Enid Kelso to answer, JD nearly fainted in nervousness. It occurred to him that it was one of the first times he met the family of one of his lovers. That did not help his stress level.

"Harrison! And you must be JD! Come in both of you! It will be a nice change to have handsome young men around me."

She smiled and rolled out of the way to let them in. JD was determined to not make any wheelchair jokes no matter how funny he thought they were. He had learned that lesson the hard way at the hospital in a traumatic incident that included a wheelchair, an angry patient, a TV show about Lindsay Lohan and pink chewing gum. He shuddered at the mere thought of it. He felt his boyfriend tug at his hand strongly and drag him into the dining room.

"If it isn't Dr. Dorian! Frankly, if I had known you swung that way I would have paired you off with Harrison the first year you were at the hospital."

"Dad!"

"What? Clearly I wasn't wrong now was I?"

"Haha. I didn't know I liked men at the time sir."

"I still don't understand how that was possible. I was actually surprised to learn you were straight."

"Robert, leave the poor boy alone. Or at least wait until he has had something to drink."

JD didn't feel too awkward but it was still a very bizarre situation. There he was, in a house that had been covered with floral patterns and lace tablemats, being teased by his boss in front of his lover. The evening unfolded itself in a semi-formal way. The Kelso were less proper than JD had expected but they still had a proud attitude to them. The conversations remained a bit uneasy until they finally got seated for the meal. When Enid placed the plate of tuna casserole on the table, JD grew nervous all over. He was going to have to force himself to eat it. There was no way around it but just the smell of it made him nauseous.

"Don't worry son, we always give our portions to Baxter." Dr. Kelso had leaned toward JD while his wife had gone to fetch the salt and pepper in the kitchen. The older man winked at him and sat himself straight again. After the obligatory questions about family background and childhood the conversation started to have a more relaxed feel to it. Eventually, after some pretty good sangria, JD got the courage to ask a question that had been on his mind for a while.

"Sir, you've been working at the hospital for quite a while and you have known many people there for many years now… I was wondering, how were they when they started? You know, Carla, Dr. Cox, Lavern…"

JD had expected to be scolded like it had been the case when he had asked those types of questions in the past but Dr. Kelso seemed keen on indulging him. He did have a lot of sangria too.

"Nurse Espinosa was always a pretty strong woman but she definitely had a hard time at first. She was so frustrated about the limitation her job had. She really wanted to do more for her patients. And there was that time she had decided that we should all learn Spanish and…"

Numerous hospitals stories were exchanged mixed with childhood memories about Harrison and souvenirs of Enid's bright nursing days. JD learned that Dr. Cox had initially aimed for an OBGYN specialization, which really had surprised him and immediately made him drift in a weird fantasy in which is mentor was pregnant, touching his round belly with his hands. He also learned that Lavern and Carla had hated each other's guts at first. There had been many catfights but they had united one particularly hard shift. Nobody knew why or what had happened but they became best friends that day. He also learned that Harrison had started to sew at a very early age and that he had a thing with shiny things that made him steal all his teacher's jewelry for many years. Enid had been a very promising nurse; she would have been head nurse if she hadn't married Dr. Kelso. And then of course there had been the accident.

The evening ended. JD shook hands with Dr. Kelso and was physically crushed by Enid's hug. That small woman sure had strong arms muscles. He silently thanked Baxter for eating his portion of casserole.

On the way home, JD noticed that Harrison was very quiet. They were taking their jackets off when JD started to get nervous again. Usually Harrison talked a lot, something JD loved about him.

"Did I talk about the hospital too much again?"

"No. No don't worry."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No. You didn't do anything bad, JD."

"Then why are you so quiet? I know things have been strained between us lately but I think tonight went great."

"Yeah it did." Harrison had a small smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes. Then it was silent again. JD breathed in and decided to just go for it. He wrapped his arms around the smaller man.

"Harrison… I love you."

"Oh." Harrison shifted and pulled out of the hug a little.

"It's okay… I mean… You don't have to say it now or anything."

"JD… I'm sorry. I don't think it's going to work, us I mean."

JD looked at Harrison speechless. He had expected hesitation or maybe a freak out but break up had not crossed his mind even once.

"But…Why?"

"Listen JD, I grew up here. All those years, the only thing I could think of, was how I wanted to go away. It's not home here for me, it never will be. It's just not my world. I thought I could do it but I can't. That's why I could never bring myself to move in with you. Then it occurred to me, we could move in together in another city, but the more I listened to you the more I realized I could never ask that of you; it's your home, your people are here. Tonight really proved that to me. The way you spoke of you friends and coworkers and how you listened to my Dad's stories... They are your family. I just can't ask that of you."

"Of course they are my people, but I love you… Just give us a chance. If you feel the way that I do we can make this work."

"I'm sorry JD. I've been feeling unsure for a while. I've already put a deposit for a place in Vancouver… I just can't do this to you. I want you to be happy and I don't think you will be if you come with me."

"I'm unhappy now! This is not fair! Why did you wait so long to talk to me about this? Was I just a pit stop until you got better?"

"JD, no. I could have left the week after I got out of the hospital. I've been staying here for almost two months and it's all because of you. I never did that for anyone before."

"Then why can't you give me a chance? Please Harrison…"

"I'm sorry JD…"

Harrison was walking away. JD hurried behind him trying to grab his arm but he was out of the door before JD could do anything. JD stood there all evening, the door closed in his face, hoping.

***

JD woke up on the sofa, cell phone and home phone next to his head. It had taken him until three in the morning to finally fall asleep. He got up and when he passed by the kitchen he saw 5:00 on the oven's clock. He got cleaned up, determined to go to work and get through this shift without a scratch.

JD arrived early and grabbed his charts wanting to start the day as fast as possible. He did his rounds and chatted with his patients. Around seven he left his first message on Harrison's voice mail. JD avoided his friends has much as possible. Talking to them meant they would ask about the dinner at the Kelsos' and he wasn't ready for that just yet. What was he supposed to tell them? "Oh yeah dinner went just peachy. In fact it went too well for my boyfriend's taste. He decided to break up with me because he cares so much." Yeah. No.

"Katia! Are you going stare out into space all day or are you going to give me a hand with this?" Dr. Cox barked at him and JD was grateful. If his mentor could keep him busy all day he would take any shit the older man threw his way. He could handle that pain. It was nothing compared to the ache in his chest. Dr. Cox did keep him quite busy until lunchtime. At this point he disappeared on the roof, still unwilling to dump on his friends. He called Harrison again: no answer. He left another message.

The afternoon was slower but JD had piles of paperwork waiting for him. He brought them into one of the empty room they used for conferences. He did take a pause in mid afternoon to check on his patients one more time. His pager didn't go off once. He left another message on his boyfriend's voicemail. He continued working on his paperwork in the staff living room where he remained unbothered for the rest of his shift. He didn't see time pass by, his head blissfully clouded by the mind numbing job before him.

"Newbie, your shift's over."

"Oh yeah. I'm just finishing this one and I'll be out"

Dr. Cox waved his hand in his "I really don't care" way and left the room. JD called Harrison once more. Someone picked up.

"JD?"

"Oh, hi Mrs. Kelso. His Harrison around?" There was an awkward pause on the line.

"Didn't he tell you he left? He went to Vancouver? He took the plane this morning."

"Oh."

"He left his cell phone behind… Kept ringing all day. When I saw it was your name I thought it was odd… I'm so sorry sweety."

"It's okay. Thank you Mrs. Kelso"

He hung up. A few hours later, JD was done with his work. He was looking out the window; it was dark outside. He should have left four hours ago.

"Newbie? ...JD!"

JD shook his head and turned around to meet Dr. Cox tired gaze. He hadn't heard the man entering.

"Oh hi. I was leaving."

"Look Tabitha, you don't want to talk about it fine by me, I don't enjoy listening to your girly drama, but don't lie to my face, have some dignity."

"Why do you care anyway?"

The older man sighed. He turned around and just has he was leaving he glanced back "Well are you coming or what?"

"Hum, yeah. I just have to drop my papers at the nurses' station." He was answered by a grunt that he was quite sure meant "fine".

A few minutes later he was sitting in the Porsche, in the passenger seat nonetheless. JD was determined to not jinx this privilege. He didn't even ask where they were going. Dr. Cox wasn't too keen on the talking after all. They drove in silence. JD would have sworn his mentor kept glancing at him. They ended up in a part of the city JD wasn't too familiar with, and they stopped at a breakfast joint.

"Breakfast? It's like, what, 11 pm?"

"If you're not happy you can walk home."

"No. No. Breakfast is great."

They were seated in a quiet corner of the 24hr breakfast restaurant. A calm waitress brought them menus. Dr. Cox ordered his coffee and JD asked for a hot chocolate. It was silent until the waitress came back to take their orders.

"Western omelet with hash browns." Western omelet? JD was surprised but he didn't know what he had been expecting his mentor to order.

"Chocolate pancakes with whipped cream please!"

JD smiled at the woman. No need to be mean to her just because he was feeling like shit. He looked around. The walls were painted a flashy yellow color and covered with posters and photos of food. There were odd garden dwarfs decorating the place. The silence continued even when they received their food. JD was sure now that his mentor was watching him.

"So Mary-Jane, now that you have busted your sugar limit for the week in one single meal, feel like emptying your heart?"

JD was glaring at the older man, but he noticed there was a hint of concern in his face. Why else would he have brought him to a breakfast joint at this hour after a long shift when he could have gone home and watched sports on his TV or went out at the bar for a few beers?

"I just thought this time would be different."

"I'm guessing the dinner didn't go too well."

"No actually it went pretty good. Dr. Kelso gets pretty talky after his seventh glass of sangria."

"Then why the heck are you moping about?" His mentor seemed angry.

"I told Harrison I loved him. He dumped me after saying he couldn't live here and he cared too much about me to ask me to move away with him. Oh and then he told me he was leaving for Vancouver. He apparently had made a deposit on a place there."

JD waited for Dr. Cox's speech. He knew he was in for an earful about either being a girl or having screwed up again. He braced himself to have his dignity ripped to shreds because frankly it was still better then being alone in his place.

"Good riddance."

JD blinked. Did he hear that right?

"I have no respect for wimps. Running away from a problem is pure cowardice."

"But ignoring someone for three weeks isn't."

JD regrets his words as soon as they were out. Not because they weren't true, they were, but because Dr. Cox was clearly trying here and JD was ruining it. His mentor growled.

"I never said it wasn't."

There was an awkward silence while Dr. Cox paid the bills, not letting JD pay for his portion. They drove in the same odd silence until they reached JD's apartment. JD was starting to get angry with his mentor for being so closed off about the issue. After Harrison, closed off people weren't exactly what he wanted in his life. JD was opening the door when Dr. Cox started talking again.

"Look JD. I'm not proud of what I did. I was a bastard about it and I know it. Heck I had to talk about it to my shrink because I knew it wasn't good for either of us."

"You are aware we will have to talk about it eventually?"

"Yes. I know. I wouldn't expect anything different from you."

JD watched his mentor. He was glancing at him in that same way he did in the restaurant. Now JD was seeing some hesitation in the older man's eyes.

"JD…"

JD felt a shiver pass his spine. What was he going to say? It seemed important. Maybe he would tell him why he had treated him the way he had?

"…Take care"

Oh. Either he had chickened out or that was harder for him to say than JD had expected.

"You too."

JD closed the door and left for his apartment.

**AN2: ** Well, I was intending on leaving you all on a painful cliffhanger but after a second read I felt that this ending was closer to the truth. I know, I'm a tease ;) Sorry gang. On the bright side, we will now focus on the JD/Cox part of this fic. Stay tuned for part 5! As usual commentaries and reviews are more then welcome!

**A huge thanx to the fallowing people for Faving/Alerting this story:**

**Tigress of India, Ruthybabe, Oomph22, ****Love- Sammii Cullen x, Tiffany123, tyger666, Cuttooth, Graffiti2DMyHeart, Gracie Grapefruit, Cold-Creature, Joanna Hepler, PyroD, Madame Crim, Tiffany on the Moon, MadiG, Acelia Illumit, Sanhedrin, orange sheep of the flock, rosecircle79, Hulabaloo, hentai18ancilla, Reader One, CelestialStorywriter, zaney42, aramiis, Rainbow Stripes, manwithasqueegee, mnolheart, oneandlonely, iTiffany19, angelaumbrello and**** XxKuroxXxNekoxX**


	5. Part 5: His Lavender Haze

**Title: **My Person (5/?)

**Author: **scones_better

**Rating: **PG-13 (I think, if I'm wrong let me know)

**Genre: **Romance (with dashes of light angst)

**Summary: **When JD take care of a special patient, he discover a part of himself he didn't know about. JD/Patient to be JD/Cox in the future.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing and make no money out of this. If those characters were mine, they would be, very, very gay.

**AN: ** Well shit, this part really wrote itself. I think it took me two days. It is such a contrast to part IV. And to say that I intended this fanfic to be 4 parts, 5 maximum, and here we are, part 5 and far from done. I blame you guys! Your feedback made me want to work harder and not half ass this story! Hope you will enjoy it! As usual, the biggest thanks to sosaith for beta-ing this story in her free time. Cheer her on!

**My Person**

_**Part 5: His Lavender Haze**_

Perry was sitting with Jack, watching some Walt Disney movie. There was some kind of doe-eyed princess singing on the screen but that was the last thing on his mind. He and JD him were on decent terms at the moment. The kid was really impressing him: he had yet to ask any questions about the whole silent treatment. He knew it probably was killing JD inside.

He had feelings for JD.

No matter how many times he thought the words, they never stopped sounding strange. They never stopped ringing true either.

He had feelings for JD, but JD was with Harrison. Normally, Perry would just have fought for the person he was interested in. He would have fought hard and dirty just like he had for Carla. But just like he had to admit Turk was good to Carla, he had to admit that Harrison was good to JD. He was also fond of Harrison, who, he knew, hadn't had that much luck in love from what Bob had told him. And did he really want to deal with the mess that it would bring? Especially when rejection was assured. Why create so much drama when he knew it wasn't going to lead to anything? Besides, he didn't even know how far his feelings for the younger man went. Perry rubbed the arch of his nose.

"Slweepy daddy?"

"No. Sleepy Jack."

"No! Not slweepy"

Perry picked up his son and flipped him upside down.

"Admit it, you're tired!"

"Noooo." Jack giggled. Perry grunted and shook his kid a little.

"Now?"

"Noooo." More giggles. Perry smiled a little. He was getting better at the whole father thing.

***

Perry knew the anger management was working. Some people might have questioned it, since he acted and looked like the same old ranting jackass, but Perry knew better. Just a few months ago, he would have been tackling, or, at the very least threatening, the people who so much as glanced at JD. Not that he didn't feel the urge to slam them against a wall or trip them up, but he was controlling it. Imagining himself doing it actually helped relieve a lot of the itch. Plus, he could rationalize the fact that JD wasn't his and he had no right to do so, even if he really, really wanted to. Damn. It meant therapy was actually working. He was not telling his therapist that.

He knew JD wasn't that bad looking but he hadn't expected him to receive that much attention. Of what he had heard from Lavern, it had been like that since his coming out.

A nurse walked past them, something Perry wouldn't have noticed before. The nurse's eyes lingered on JD. Perry glared and growled at the offender. He saw the man cower a little and Perry smiled dangerously. Hey, he never said he was cured. Perry saw JD blush. What kind of man blushes? JD really brought the rants on himself.

"For god's sake, Delilah, stop blushing like you're some white virgin maiden! I know, the guys are giving you attention this month, but PLEEE-AH-SE trust me when I say this, they only do so because you are new on the menu. They will tire of you when they realize you are no different then the other pasty white boring gals around here."

JD's blush intensified, which irritated Perry even more; how could he be so innocent? Just this morning, three other guys had checked him out and JD hadn't noticed anything. Assholes. Perry saw a strange smile spread on the younger man; that never was a good thing.

"Wait a minute. You've noticed guys checking me out?"

"Oh come on, a blind person could have noticed. They are not that slick."

Perry thanked himself for his amazing reflexes. God he was good.

"You know what's slick? The Todd's moves in the sack."

The Todd had popped out of nowhere, as he usually did. He was wearing a rainbow colored bandana and holding his right hand out, ready for a high five. Perry glared at him for good measure, but he was actually glad for the distraction; it meant that JD wouldn't ask questions.

"No high five Dr. Cox?"

Perry took a deep breath and started one of his classic surgeons rants. It was more for form than anything else. He never got any enjoyment out of it when the recipient was the Todd. The surgeon really was exceptionally dense. He didn't get that he was being insulted most of the time. What was the point of a rant if it didn't chip away at the recipient's will to live?

Perry's day went downhill from there. He's patients decided that they were all going to crash one after the other. By the end of his shift he had managed to stabilize them all. He was worn out and all he wanted was to go home, shower and drink a few cold beers while watching sports. Maybe take care of business since he hadn't had any in a while. But life had other plans for him. He was about to sit down on the couch when the door opened.

"Per-per!" Jordan was smiling slyly at him. Had it been eleven days already?

"What do you want she-devil? I'm not in the mood."

"Awww… Did your little girlfriend break up with you?"

Perry sighed. He wanted this to be over with as soon as possible. Jordan, for once, seemed to agree. She walked toward him with purpose and presence.

"Fine, my date cancelled and I need a filler. Get undressed and tell me where you have hidden the ropes."

Perry decided he didn't mind Jordan's presence after all. The sex had always been the good part of their relationship. He enjoyed being bossed around, especially by beautiful strong women. It was about the loss of control; having one place where he could let go and have someone else decide everything, someone else worry about everything.

That's why he found himself tied up to his bed, Jordan crawling toward him in her lingerie. She never was gentle: she always would bite and scratch a little too hard. He loved it. Right now she was pulling his hair and biting his neck. Perry closed his eyes for a moment, concentrating on the sensations. The touches were oddly painful and they didn't turn him on as much as they should have. He breathed in, trying to empty his mind so he could enjoy the sex. He'd be damned if he was getting old enough to be "too tired" for sex. Perry's eyes opened wide when he was overwhelmed by the scent of lavender and lilies (Jordan's new toxic concoction she called "perfume".) because images of JD's face and body took over his mind immediately. And they weren't going away.

"Jordan, stop."

"Shut up and take it!"

She smiled at him.

"Jordan I mean it. STOP."

He hadn't yelled, but it was clear that he wanted her off of him. Jordan looked surprised, but she did get off.

"What is wrong with you?"

"There's someone."

"Let me guess… She's strong, dominant and most likely a brunette."

"Actually, no."

Jordan blinked at him. Perry understood her surprise; he did have a type after all. He didn't bother correcting her use of the feminine pronoun because he did call JD girls names, most of the time anyway.

"If it's that serious why didn't you tell me so earlier on?"

"'Cause we are not dating. Or sleeping together."

"Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that you like someone so much, that even though you two aren't together, you still won't have fabulous sex with me? Because if it's the case, you are SUCH a girl!"

"Yeah… I am"

To Perry's surprise, the admission didn't hurt his ego as much as he had expected it to.

"So why aren't you with her? If she's that extraordinary I would have expected you to have swept her away by now."

Perry frowned as a migraine started to pound in his head.

"With someone."

Jordan laughed.

"You, Perry Cox, have fallen hard for a woman who is already happily with someone else, who is not a dominant bitch and, I'm guessing here, has no idea you want her in a romantic way."

She chuckled.

Perry growled. The situation was shitty enough on its own, he really didn't feel like being mocked by his ex-wife on top of it.

"What is she like?"

Perry didn't answer right away.

"…Caring…Patient…Generous...Determined… Smart, well most of the time… Exceptional, really."

Jordan went silent. Then she laughed.

"You love her."

"I'm not sure."

There was an odd silence.

"Did you ever like me that much?"

The question surprised Perry. Jordan never had been one to show emotions.

"When we were first together. Before the whole mess…"

Perry thought he saw her nod. She got up and dressed herself.

"Well… I'd love to meet her. 'Night Per-per!"

"Jordan. JORDAN! Untie me…"

"Aww… I don't think so dear."

Jordan left. Perry groaned. He had managed to untie himself about an hour later. He had nasty rope burns on his wrists, but he knew his plastic bracelets (they looked manly on him and they supported different causes), were going to hide the worst of it. After taking a piss, Perry let himself fall onto his bed. The migraine that had started earlier was expanding.

Perry growled. He was becoming touchy feely. He rolled over, refusing to take any painkillers or alcohol to try to numb his migraine. He could take it. He could take pretty much anything life threw his way.

***

The next morning Perry woke up in a shitty mood. He had tossed and turned all night due to his headache. The rope burns still stung a little and he was running late for work. He hurried through his morning routine, but of course, life being what it was, he ended up stuck in an unusual amount of traffic. Anger was slowly rising in his chest.

He finally arrived at the hospital, fifteen minutes late. After catching up on his lost time, yes he was that good, Perry walked by the nurse station. Spotting JD, he smirked. Poking at the young man was sure to relieve some of his piled up anger.

He listened to what Newbie and Turk were chatting about so animatedly.

"You are so screwed."

Well it was better then nothing. Besides, he didn't have the patience to wait for a better line.

"Now, now Newbie, how many times do I have to tell you that I REA-HA-LLY don't want to hear about the details of your very vanilla and geeky sexual life?"

JD squirmed and Perry tried to convince himself he wasn't enjoying that noise as much as he was. He kept on walking, knowing the young man had baited and was most likely following him.

"We were not talking about sex!"

"Don't care." No, he didn't. He didn't. He wouldn't.

"Actually, I would love to get your input on this. I mean, you have known Dr. Kelso for years now… Is there anything I really should know to avoid problems with him or his wife?"

Perry's wish had been answered. He thanked all the deities he didn't believe in for this gift. He was getting to unwind all his anger in a long speech and he was going to do so with the added bonus of lashing out on Kelso.

"I thought I had been clear on the hating Dr. Kelso and not associating with him or anyone who knows him part? Are you really going to make me repeat myself again, Juliet, 'cause I swear to god—"

"Yes, yes, Perry. Big speech. We heard it all before. I'm serious when I say you need to find something new. Oh and see you this evening Dr. Dorian. I hope you like tuna casserole."

Perry started huffing and puffing. Being interrupted and berated in the middle of his rant, by Kelso of all people! He was going to strangle the man. He was…Wait. _Oh and see you this evening Dr. Dorian. I hope you like tuna casserole._ Why on earth would Bobo see JD in the evening? He felt his migraine slowly coming back.

"You are going to the Kelsos'? Why don't you just bend over and take it while you're at it! I don't even understand how you got him to agree to something like that in the first place."

"Well, Harrison thought it was about time I met his family. We are starting to get serious, and that sounded like the right next step."

He should have seen that one coming, but it made sense that he hadn't. After all, he had always insisted on being left of on the details of JD's love life. Not to mention that JD had always rushed into things headfirst and screwed up his relationships before they even got close to being serious. Perry's anger, strangely enough, vanished. The feeling was not replaced; in fact it just felt like there was a void in his mind.

"Oh. Well good for you JD... Let's see how long it will take you before to screw up this time."

Perry had noticed his own slip just in time to add an insult. Said insult had sounded flat to his own ears. The younger man seemed to have noticed, too. Their pagers went off and they had to get moving since a patient was crashing. Perry was thankful.

***

Perry was sitting on his couch, turning the TV on. He was not going to pass the evening thinking about how JD was eating tuna casserole at the Kelsos. He downed a glass of scotch.

"_Well, Harrison thought it was about time I met his family. We are starting to get serious, and that sounded like the right next step." _

Perry downed another glass.

_Oh and see you this evening Dr. Dorian. I hope you like tuna casserole._

Perry's eyes followed the football players on the screen without really seeing them. He downed a third glass.

"…_You love her."_

"_I'm not sure."_

Perry was about to serve himself a fourth glass when he noticed the bottle was empty. He was sure there was another one in his cabinet. He was sure one more drink would make him cross the line between casually drinking while watching a game, to drinking to numb emotions he didn't want to deal with. He was sure if he got up to fetch more scotch he would fall back into his old bad habits, the ones he had worked so hard to get rid of for his son.

He was sure.

Perry flipped his glass; the open side now facing down. He slammed it on the side table. His headache had left him. He watched the game for the rest of the evening and fell asleep on the sofa soon after it was over.

_He was sure… _

***

When he had woken up that morning, Perry had thrown the empty scotch bottle and shot glass in the garbage can. He was feeling better. That wasn't the case for Mr. Owens who had came in for a minor digestive problem. Further probing of his person had uncovered a problem; Perry was hearing a murmur in the man's heart and it wasn't faint.

Perry excused himself, wanting someone to double check his prognosis. It was one of those rare times when he actually liked to be wrong. He finally crossed paths with the person he had been searching for: Newbie, who looked even more spaced out than usual.

"Katia! Are you going stare out into space all day or are you going to give me a hand with this?"

JD immediately turned toward him. Was that relief on his face? Perry didn't ponder on it too much; he wanted to know whether or not he had to give bad news to Mr. Owens. Unfortunately, Perry had been right. He made the younger doctor work all morning so they could find the source of the problem faster with their united efforts. By lunchtime they had a diagnostic for Mr. Owens and arranged for a surgery consult. It wasn't until JD left for lunch that Perry realized the kid hadn't spoken much, something pretty unusual since the kid never shut his yawper. He knew something was a little off when Newbie didn't show up at the cafeteria. While Mr. Owens's case had been important, the rest of the day was quite slow. The kid had no excuses not to be around. When Carla, Barbie and Gandhi asked him about JD, Perry frowned. They should have talked to him by now; there had been plenty of time for that. They were the ones he should be questioning about the younger doctor not the other way around. He had left the cafeteria shortly after that, fearing that they would try to reel him into whatever drama that might be going on.

Perry worked all day, using the extra time brought by the slower pace to be more present for his patients. JD would have glowed if he knew that Perry had taken his "extra mile" crap to heart. Perry decided to go watch his soap for his break. He was surprised to find JD in the staff living room, still working when today he really didn't have to be there more then necessary.

"Newbie, your shift's over."

"Oh yeah. I'm just finishing this one and I'll be out"

Perry waved his hand in his "I really don't care" way and left the room. He was being ridiculous. Newbie was simply doing his job, probably catching up on some neglected paperwork. Perry growled. He was becoming sensitive. He did not like that.

Perry ended up taking a nap in the on call room. He then proceeded to finish his shift. Tonight he was going to have peace. He had no fathering to do, no Jordan to come in and tie him up and, more importantly, no stupid emotive crap to deal with. As he walked the corridor, he saw that JD's scooter was still in the parking lot. He growled to himself, making a jittery intern that was around jump in fright, as he decided to go check the living room once more. He hated himself for it because he knew that the room would be empty and he would find JD talking with his "wife" at the nurse station shortly after that.

Perry opened the door. He was surprised to see JD still there. There was a considerable pile of finished paperwork neatly stacked before him. The younger doctor didn't seem to have heard him.

"Belinda!"

No reaction.

"Katie-Anne!"

Still nothing.

"Newbie?"

Had he lost his hearing? Perry was starting to wonder if had made a mistake choosing him to check on that heart murmur. He sighed tiredly. Well one last chance.

"…JD!"

That time he had a reaction.

"Oh hi. I was leaving."

Yes. And Perry was a part time showgirl. Nothing irritated him more then people who lied to his face. He ought to grow a pair damn it.

"Look Tabitha, you don't want to talk about it fine by me, I don't enjoy listening to your girly drama, but don't lie to my face, have some dignity."

"Why do you care anyway?"

Perry sighed and turned around; he was going to regret this just he knew it. As he was leaving he glanced back.

"Well are you coming or what?"

"Hum, yeah. I just have to drop my papers at the nurses' station."

Perry grunted. He was already extending more consideration than he normally would have, like hell if he was going to gab and babble. They headed outside toward the parking lot. Perry decided to let the kid sit in front. Knowing him, he probably would act like an excited puppy for days just because of that little privilege.

Where could they go? The kid clearly didn't want to go to his place, since he had chosen to spend his free time doing mind numbing paper work at the hospital instead. Perry was not bringing JD to his own place, because that would be just weird given the circumstances. The bar would include alcohol, and he knew he would drink, and that could only lead to places that really should be avoided. He heard JD's stomach growl, but the younger doctor didn't seem to be aware of it. Food would be good but at this time of the night they didn't have a lot of options. Fast food was out of the question considering all the work he put in his appearance. Perry then remembered a breakfast joint he and Jack had enjoyed not long ago. He drove there, glancing occasionally at JD who was abnormally silent. They finally arrived.

"Breakfast? It's like, what, 11 pm?"

"If you're not happy you can walk home."

He was already doing more then he normally would. JD could take it or leave it.

"No. No. Breakfast is great." Attaboy.

Soon they were sitting in a more secluded corner. Perry liked the waitresses and waiters here: they didn't bother customers. Soon they ordered their meal. JD, unsurprisingly, ordered something sickeningly sweet. The man had just complained about eating breakfast so late in the night and now he was ordering pure sugar to feast on. The kid's logic was beyond Perry's comprehension. The silence would have pleased him in other circumstances, but the fact of the matter was, he had taken JD out so he would talk and for the first time he wasn't doing that. No matter how much he stared at him, JD didn't speak. When the younger man was halfway through his plate, Perry decided to fish for answers because that much silence was not a good sign.

"So Mary-Jane, now that you have busted your sugar limit for the week in one single meal, feel like emptying your heart?"

JD glared at him but his face immediately softened.

"I just thought this time would be different."

"I'm guessing the dinner didn't go too well."

He hadn't forgotten about that, but he had avoided the subject all day. He had expected to hear all about it in gossip form anyway, but not once was it brought up in any of the inane conversations that had surrounded him at work.

"No actually it went pretty good. Dr. Kelso gets pretty talky after his seventh glass of sangria."

"Then why the heck are you moping about?"

If this had all been useless drama over some insignificant details he was going to strangle the man, regardless of his feelings for him.

"I told Harrison I loved him. He dumped me after saying he couldn't live here and he cared too much about me to ask me to move away with him. Oh and then he told me he was leaving for Vancouver. He apparently had made a deposit on a place there."

Perry was at lost for words. He had not expected that answer. Harrison and JD had seemed well paired off. Not to mention that with the way Kelso talked about his son, he would never had expected such cowardice from him. Heck, with just the time he had passed with him at the hospital, he never would have expected something like that. Ruining a perfectly good relationship for such a small detail… What a waste.

"Good riddance."

Perry noticed the surprised expression on JD's face and elaborated.

"I have no respect for wimps. Running away from a problem is pure cowardice."

"But ignoring someone for three weeks isn't."

He had expected that one. Perry knew it had to come up eventually. It still stung a little, especially with JD's wounded voice.

"I never said it wasn't."

Perry paid the bills, not allowing JD to ruin his good intentions. As they drove in silence toward JD's apartment, Perry's mind didn't stay as quiet as his passenger. Perry wasn't much better than Harrison. He shouldn't burden JD with his feelings for him. Newbie deserved someone caring and loving. Then again, he had believed Harrison would be it, and that clearly hadn't been the case. It occurred to Perry that he was actually much better than Harrison, because he had stayed. He had faced the problem, even if it had taken him time to admit there was one in the first place. And he had wanted to deal with it. He wanted to tell that to JD. He deserved that much.

The car came to a stop. JD was opening the door. It was now or never.

"Look JD. I'm not proud of what I did. I was a bastard about it and I know it. Heck I had to talk about it to my shrink because I knew it wasn't good for either of us."

"You are aware we will have to talk about it eventually?"

"Yes. I know. I wouldn't expect anything different from you." And he actually liked JD for it.

Perry looked at JD's face. It made something in him twist and flop like it hadn't in years.

"JD…"

Perry saw the young man stiffen at the use of his "real" name.

"…Take care"

JD's face became unreadable.

"You too."

JD closed the door and left for his apartment. Perry knew he had made the right decision. Now was not the right time to tell JD how he felt. He just had broken up with someone he had clearly said he loved. It would be unfair for Perry to shove his feelings on him like that. Perry was becoming a better person. He should have been proud.

"I've become such a wimp".

He drove back to his place: so much for the calm evening.

**AN2: ** I hope you enjoyed it. I can't promise when the next part will be up since I have "real" life things planned plus I need to figure just where I want to go for Part VI. Be assured that I will try to be as quick as possible ;) And I promise you that the next part will be longer and full of JD/Cox interaction.

**A huge thanx to the fallowing people for Faving/Alerting this story:**

**Artemis Rayne, , Isos23, JantoFan1311, HotCrossPigeon, And She Would Fall Xx, looleyloo, lookingatstars, Sacred Fart, ****Ladyblue17, FallChild92, Zanbandia, ****we've all got our junk, Satji and Darth Kitsune.**


	6. Part 6: My Big Question

**Title: **My Person (6/?) Thinking about 10ish here.

**Author: **scones_better

**Rating: **PG-13 (I think, if I'm wrong let me know)

**Genre: **Romance (with dashes of light angst)

**Summary: **When JD take care of a special patient, he discover a part of himself he didn't know about. JD/Patient to be JD/Cox in the future.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing and make no money out of this. If those characters were mine, they would be, very, very gay.

**AN: ** This part is the longest by far, but I had a lot of fun writing it. I hope you will find it was worth the wait! A big thank you to sosaith, for being such a fabulous beta!

**My Person**

_**Part 6: My big question**_

"Stella! Come!"

JD hurried behind Dr. Cox. He knew the older man was actually happy that JD was here today, even if he would never admit it. There had been a considerable accident in the hospital perimeter and Sacred Heart received some of the more "minor" cases. Seeing that Sacred Heart wasn't one of the most highly ranked hospitals, there were rarely any big traumas coming in. Those minor cases were, therefore, pretty major to them. They required a lot of attention and effort from the understaffed hospital. JD would have panicked had he been alone in the situation, but Dr. Cox was making the crisis quite manageable. He actually looked thrilled! He probably hadn't seen that much action in years. Nobody would have believed him if he said that he saw his mentor smile with excitement. An actual smile!

"Newbie! We are going to need way more blood here, so how about you sprint down to fetch some now! MOVE!"

JD shook his head to focus; now was not the time to get lost in daydream. He started running immediately. So much for his day off. The worst part was he wasn't regretting it one bit.

***

"Hey Vanilla bear! We didn't get to talk yesterday; how did that dinner go?"

"Oh yeah, sorry about that, I had this pile of paperwork to get trough."

"So?"

"What? Oh… It went well." It wasn't a lie. The dinner part did go well after all.

"Come on, man. You go to Kelso's house and you have nothing else to say?"

"Yeah sorry, I'm just tired today…"

"I'm letting you off the hook for now because Carla is yelling at me. She wants to know if you and Harrison are up for a double date tonight?"

"Oh. It's just, Harrison and I had a special day prepared." Okay, now he was lying.

"Oh. OH! I've got your back man. I'll deal with Carla."

"Thanks Chocolate Bear!"

JD hung up. It was his day off, yet he really would have liked to work. He didn't want to stay home and he didn't want to see his friends. Normally, JD would have loved their attention and care but not this time. After he had discovered his attraction to men, he had thought that things would have become easier. He had believed, that maybe his soul mate was a man, and that was the reason why he had failed at his past relationships. He hadn't been with the right person. Harrison was supposed to be the right person, his person. JD had believed that his newfound bisexuality was the answer to his romantic problems, but now he was left facing reality; all his relationships would fail regardless of the gender of his partners. JD also knew his friends were tired of his whining. After over three years, it really was their affection for him that stopped them from strangling him.

He spent the morning watching episodes of Gilmore Girls (he had bought the special DVD set recently). By noon, JD was already tired of moping around. What a waste of a day off.

If he wanted to be doctoring why was he staying home? It's not like he was enjoying himself. He might as well use his time helping others.

JD got up with a newfound determination. In no time, he had gotten ready, left his apartment, and driven Sasha to the hospital. He walked toward the nurses station, trying to ignore the strange looks everyone was giving him. He couldn't blame them; he was here, voluntary, on his day off.

" Oh, god no."

JD turned toward an annoyed Dr. Cox.

"Hey! Hi, Dr. Cox!"

"What on earth are you doing here? This is the only day I actually get to work without you in my legs! Come on, Leila, get the stupid girl product you have forgotten in your locker and that you just can't survive without, not even for one day, and get out of my sight! We are in a rush here!"

JD followed Dr. Cox who was half running.

"I just want to work. I don't have to be around you if you don't want me to. Heck, I'd settle for paperwork. Just give me something to do. Please."

Dr. Cox glanced at him, with an unreadable expression. JD set his face to his most determined expression, trying to man up for the occasion, knowing it worked better with Dr. Cox.

"We have traumas coming in soon and we are under-equipped and understaffed, without mentioning that most of the staff are morons who are not made for such crisis, so you better be ready for a lot of running and yelling Princess, because if you slow me down in any shape or form, I will knock you out, am I understood?"

"Yes Dr. Cox!"

"Good girl, now get moving!"

JD spent the rest of the afternoon running, doing damage control and fetching blood bags. The patients were finally stabilized; they had only lost one of them, which was pretty amazing considering the circumstances.

JD rubbed his closed eyes, letting out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding.

"Good job, JD."

JD turned his head toward the voice. Dr. Cox was next to him, well, as close to someone as the older man could bare, holding up a cup of coffee for JD.

"Thanks."

They drank their coffee in silence. For the first time in his life, JD found himself too tired to talk. Besides, it was the first time that the silence between them was comfortable. After that, JD had finished his paperwork and had gotten home. It wasn't until he was lying in bed that he realized he hadn't thought of Harrison all afternoon. His eyes started to water but he pushed it back. He was not going to cry, damn it.

"_Good job, JD."_

The tears faded away and he smiled childishly in his pillow. Dr. Cox never had told him that clearly that he appreciated his work.

He fell asleep quickly.

***

"Oh shizzle!"

JD was looking up at his ceiling, every inch of his body sore. The day before had caught up with him while he had been sleeping. He then groaned, remembering that today, not only did he have work, which his body was definitely against, but he would also have to talk with his friends. Maybe he could call in sick. No, it was better to just do it. Like ripping off a band-aid really… A giant, ultra sticky band-aid.

JD's eyes drifted to the left and he was suddenly covered with a giant band-aid.

"Time to take it off Bambi!"

Carla, Elliot and Turk started pulling at it and JD yelled in atrocious pain. He was left, naked, red, and hairless, hiding his "little buddy" with his hands.

JD shook his head. What was it with his daydreams lately? They were becoming so cruel to him. After a few more minutes, he had gathered the courage to get up. Of course, all that lazing around in bed meant that he was running late. When he got at the hospital, he breathed out in relief: no one seemed to have noticed.

"Dr. Dorian!"

JD stopped walking and then turned to Dr. Kelso, all smiles. He was getting an earful for sure; the older man had always strongly reprimanded tardiness. Dr. Kelso walked toward him.

"Yes, Dr. Kelso?"

The man in question sighed and then placed his hand on JD's shoulder.

"I don't know how to say this but… I think you would have made a fine Kelso."

Dr. Kelso gave a little pat to JD's shoulder and left.

"Hum. Thank you, Dr. Kelso."

The Chief of medicine had actually sounded genuine. He knew the words were meant to comfort him but that didn't really work. At least he knew his boss wasn't going to give him hell for the break up. JD walked toward the nurses station where Carla, Turk and Elliot were gathered.

"Hey JD! My boy got some action all day, yesterday! Am I right or what?"

Turk smiled and nodded appreciatively, waiting for a high five.

"I doubt he had time for that, sugar. He was here all afternoon, helping with the trauma patients we received."

"WHAT?"

His three friends were looking back and forth between him and Lavern. JD glared at her. He was intending to tell the truth, but he didn't want her nosing around in his business. JD rubbed the back of his neck. Well he should just go for it.

"I lied. I'm sorry… It's just after the dinner, Harrison dumped my ass and I needed to focus on something else for a while. I didn't want to disappoint you all again. I know you are tired of my drama..."

"Oh, JD no. Okay, sometimes you are a bit much, but we care about you." Carla said.

"I know you do."

"What happened?" Turk asked.

JD explained. He said it as it was, simple and clean, without much whining. Telling it to Dr. Cox had brought him a lot of relief and he didn't feel like bad mouthing Harrison much. He still was angry with him for handling things the way he had, but it didn't press the same weight on him.

"Oh JD… I'm so sorry." Carla's eyes and voice softened.

"What an ass!" Turk, of course, took his side immediately.

"So, how is Dr. Kelso's house?"

"ELLIOT!" Chorused Carla and Turk, glaring at the blond. JD chuckled.

"Way to show you care Barbie! A bit more and I might just cry because of how touched I am with your tact and empathy for your sister. Bravo! And Erica, if you are quite done emptying your heart to your girlfriends, maybe you could get started on, oh I don't know, doctoring and lend me a hand?"

"I'll catch up with you guys later!"

JD told his three friends has he walked away, following his mentor. He was glad for the man's interruption. He was disenchanted with relationships and romance, and wanted to focus on work. He was a good doctor and he intended on improving his skills. He had been happy with friends and work life before he met Harrison; he had no problem returning to that. Besides, like one of his patient had once told him, there is a limit to how many times you can take total rejection and failure. JD decided that instead of falling into depression or doing something he would regret later on, he might as well make the best of the situation.

"All the patients we had are still stable, although I'd keep an eye on Mrs. Johns, she already tried to crash on me a couple of time last night…"

JD listened as Dr. Cox updated him and gave him his thoughts on how to proceed next. They actually dialogued, like equals, about the different options they had for the patients' treatments. There had been occasional girl's names, but they weren't used in an offensive way. By lunchtime, JD was literally glowing with glee.

He grabbed his lunch and sat with his friends. When he sensed the topic was about to veer off on the emotional side of the break up, he changed the subject.

"Oh and there were little stones angels everywhere in the garden. I swear!"

The gossip about the house entertained them for a while, but JD knew it wouldn't work in the long run. They'd eventually ask questions about his wellbeing. Afterward, JD went back to work. The afternoon was mostly uneventful. Mrs. Johns had tried to crash again, but JD had kept her from succeeding. He was on his way out when Dr. Cox called him.

"Newbie! Catch!"

He dropped a heavy pile of documents in JD's arms, who looked up at the older man, perplexed.

"What is this?"

"You've shown that you are able to handle yourself instead of falling back on your drama fest and self-pity. Plus, you are capable of intelligent opinions on occasion, so I figured you could work on this research with me. Not that I think you are going to be any help, but you know, my genius might rub off on you and make you a semi-decent doctor."

JD grinned.

"That mean you actually think I'm pretty good at what I do."

"Oh, for god sake Veronica, don't make me regret this."

"You won't, I promise!"

JD was so overjoyed that he made a little spin and ended up face first against a wall. He heard Dr. Cox groan in the background.

***

"Dude, what are you doing?"

JD's eyes rose from the document he had been absorbed in to meet his best friend's.

"Reading?"

"You are aware that your shift is over, right? That you are home, right?"

JD chuckled.

"Of course, Chocolate Bear, but this is a side project."

"You mean extra work."

"It's volunteer research."

Turk looked at him like he had grown a second head.

"You are doing boring extra work for free in your spare time?"

"Well, not just me, Dr. Cox too. But look at it like this, if we figure this out it could make our careers. We could have our on national holiday! Maybe a monument! Besides, it's pretty interesting. It's a bit like solving a mystery."

JD's head went to the side.

"But, Dr. Cox, how did you figure this out?"

"It's elementary my dear Newbie!" Dr. Cox answered, dressed in a trench coat.

"JD!"

"Sorry, sorry."

"Geez, tell me if I'm boring you!" Turk actually looked hurt.

"Aww, come on, we're relaxing, you're watching the sport network and I'm reading."

There was an odd silence.

"What's wrong, Turk?"

"We DO sound like a married couple."

Turk smiled and JD chuckled once more. Turk face became serious once more.

"Are you okay, JD? I mean you and Harrison really were serious… And you just seem so… Detached and closed off these days. All absorbed in work and whatnot."

JD was surprised by the question but not by his friend's concern.

"It hurts, like hell. Sometimes I think maybe I should have followed him to Vancouver. But, lately, I figured if Harrison is that kind of person, I don't really want him in my life. So, it hurts because I love him but I'm starting to think maybe I just dodged the bullet."

There was a small silence.

"Besides, I know you think I'm crazy, but I really, really, am enjoying work. Dr. Cox is pretty decent, too. I'm learning a lot and improving as a doctor."

Turk nodded. He didn't look as worried now that JD had explained himself, but he still looked unsure.

"So… Is your team winning?"

"You bet. 3 to 1!"

The atmosphere relaxed between them. It had been a while since JD had spent some alone time with his best friend. They would most definitely do crazy stuff in the future; Turk would make sure of it, but for now JD just appreciated the other man's presence and goofy humor.

***

"Newbie, what on earth are you doing?"

"…Stitches?"

JD asked, because Dr. Cox's tone made him doubt for a moment that it was a good thing that he was closing Mrs. Calico's leg wound. The older man got closer to inspect his work.

"Shouldn't an intern be doing this? God knows they need the practice. Their work is worse than a team of drunk butchers stitching with blindfolds."

JD chuckled. He was getting more at ease with the older man and could pick up when he was being offensive versus cheeky. Besides, the interns really were terrible.

"Yes, but seeing as Mrs. Calico is a beautician, I figured she would appreciate if a blind drunk butcher didn't work on her. Plus, Turk showed me this new technique that really improves the final result for wounds as deep as this."

JD was surprised when the man pulled a chair to watch him work. It was probably to make sure he didn't screw up. Feeling nervous, JD turned around and when he looked at the older man, he realized that he was actually observing him, not with judgment but actual interest.

"See when you do it like this…"

JD tempted his chance and explained the procedure to Dr. Cox who nodded in understanding. It was a fairly simple method, but JD still couldn't believe that he was showing, teaching, his mentor something. It was unheard of. When JD gave the instruments to Dr. Cox to let him try for himself, their hands brushed for a moment. JD felt goose bumps go up his arm, pass his shoulder and down his spine; he was not used to physical contact from Dr. Cox. The older man froze completely for a second, making JD feel uneasy. The air became still, and JD thought that maybe they weren't on such good terms after all. They had yet to talk about the silent treatment. Just as JD was about to say something, the older man started to apply what he had seen, asking questions and letting JD guide him verbally along the way.

Mrs. Calico had been most pleased by the fact that two doctors were working hard to make sure there would be no mark left on her leg.

JD was sure no one would believe him if he told them he had spent half an hour teaching Dr. Cox something, not to mention that there had been no yelling or arguing. As he was heading to the Cafeteria, he heard Dr. Cox whistle at him.

"Newbie, where do you think your going?"

JD gulped: he was going to get crushed. He supposed he was grateful that his mentor had waited until they were in the corridor, and away from the patient.

"You're having lunch with me. Bring your work and be at the parking lot in 5. I'm not eating what they try to pass for food at the cafeteria."

It took JD a moment to process what had just happened and even more time to realize that Dr. Cox was talking about their research. He could pretend it was because he wasn't paying proper attention, but really, it was because JD had fainted internally. His brain had collapsed. He had heard a chorus of Hallelujah. A light had shined on top of him. Dr. Cox had invited… Okay, fine, ordered him to have lunch with him, and not simply because JD was "down". It was nothing short of a miracle. The day could not get any better. He was so going to write it down in his diary. And circle the day on the calendar; to be celebrated every year as their first (official) milestone toward their mentor-protégé relationship. He quickly grabbed his thick notes folder and rushed to the parking lot. Dr. Cox was waiting for him by the Porsche, tapping his foot impatiently, arms crossed. He hesitated, unsure if he still had the right to the front row passenger seat.

"Well, get in! You'll have plenty of time to powder your nose while I drive, Jenny."

They had bought lunch at the grocery store, and while Dr. Cox had refused to share anything with him, he had paid for JD's lunch. They were now eating at the quiet park near by. JD was squealing, in a manly way of course, because he could not believe this was real. All his friends had thought he was not only a little weird, but also crazy to have endured the older man for so long, but it was finally paying off. It wasn't sweet talk and hugs like he had wanted, but coming form Perry Cox, respect and conversation relatively equal footing was nothing short of an accomplishment.

JD was reading some of the notes that Dr. Cox had brought. It felt oddly personal to read those quick scribbles, always in blue, jolted down in a hurry. While the writing was impatient, the way it was disposed was very clear and tidy. JD believed it fit his mentor; he was an impatient and passionate person who preferred his surroundings clean and somewhat clinical, like his cold and impersonal apartment.

After a while, JD felt warmth behind him, at his shoulders' height. Glancing sideways, he noticed that his mentor had wrapped his arm on the back of bench, behind JD but without touching him, like he usually did on the rare occasion they were sitting together. It occurred to JD that he hadn't seen him do it with anyone else. JD frowned to himself and brought his attention back to the page, determined to not get distracted again. He didn't want Dr. Cox to think he was slacking or daydreaming when they worked together.

Just a few minutes of reading and he was taken over by a strange sensation, as if Dr. Cox was staring at him. He pushed away the feeling and kept on reading. The sensation persisted and grew, making him finally raise his eyes to catch Dr. Cox starting intently at him. He was leaning closer to him than he had been earlier, JD was sure of it. That usually meant trouble. Dr. Cox loved to invade personal space when he was ranting and raging at someone. And JD was alone in a park with him. Great, it had probably been a trap from the very beginning. Why else would the older man take him out like that?

"Dr. Cox?"

The older man cleared his throat and leaned back on his side of the bench, allowing more space between them.

"Well, what do you think?"

JD shook his head. He had to stop over thinking everything.

"I think we are onto something. It really seems to indicate a correlation of the medication and the side effect of the patients with the…"

JD and Dr. Cox debated some more, drafting a plan for their next step. They then headed back to the hospital, the lunch break being almost over.

***

"I can't believe it. Lavern was right." Carla spoke so softly that JD barely heard her.

"What happened?"

"Did you notice anything different in Dr. Cox's behavior?"

"Not especially. He tolerates me more than usual but that's about it. Come on, tell me."

JD didn't mention his mentor glancing at him regularly or the increased time passed in his company, because he sincerely didn't think it was worth mentioning. The staring was probably just to keep him on his toes and when they were together, it was always for work. There was nothing special or out of the ordinary there.

"What did he do?"

"I'm not sure what to think of it Bambi."

"Just say it! Come on!"

JD made his best puppy eyes face, knowing Carla would have a harder time saying no when he tapped into her maternal instincts.

"Well… A few weeks ago, Lavern told me she saw Dr. Cox scaring away people. Nothing new there, I thought, but she insisted he scared away anyone who seemed interested in you. I didn't think it made much sense and I presumed that the gossip wasn't all that juicy so she made some up but… Lately I've just started to notice things. He really does scare people away from you. He glares and barks at anyone who so much as checks you out. I just don't know what to think of it."

JD stared at Carla, silent. She was making no sense at all… And then JD started laughing; Carla was still trying to be funny. It was actually working now that he knew it was a joke.

"Oh god. You almost had me there. I was so close to falling for it. You are a genius at serious faces! See when you are not trying to make jokes, your natural sense of humor really comes out!"

JD's pager went off.

"Speaking of Dr. Cox, he needs my help, got to go! But, again, great acting! Keep it up! You should try it on Turk!"

JD left in a semi jog, ready to get into the action. He heard Carla yell something along the line of "It wasn't a joke and I'm funny damn it!" but he didn't think much of it seeing as he was far more preoccupied by his page.

He arrived to a not so unusual scene: Dr. Cox and Elliot arguing. Or, well, Dr. Cox was berating Elliot while she attempted to hold her ground. Attempted being the key word.

"There you are Newbie! About time too, seeing how Barbie here, has almost destroyed all of our work!"

"But the patient need these medications! It's the best way to–"

"I know you are a blonde and I can't expect much from you, but if there is such a thing as a Dr. Barbie and Astronaut Barbie, that means she can, at the very least, read. So unless you are telling me that you are denser then an actual doll, I cannot figure how you could not have read this chart properly. Unless you are telling me that you ignored my orders, for which I would develop respect for your gutsiness, but immediately mock your stupidity for thinking that you could get away with it. "

JD had slowly walked toward Elliot and was now standing next to her. He was one hundred percent with Dr. Cox, but bringing Elliot to a total breakdown was definitely not the solution.

"Of course Elliot knows how to read, she probably couldn't understand my writing seeing how I jolted it down fast…"

"That is not –"

JD pulled Elliot aside before she could say another word and whispered into her ear: "This research has been tremendous work for the both of us, so if you say you intended to destroy it, even for only one patient, he will skin you alive! You know he will do it, Elliot. And to be perfectly honest, I probably wouldn't stop him. So, for once in your life, please, just shut up!"

Elliot looked at him with a mixture of fear and disbelief. JD wondered how she could still be surprised he was siding with Dr. Cox. She had said herself, on numerous occasions, that he always took his mentor's side. Elliot looked at Dr. Cox's reddening face one last time before she left in a huff.

Dr. Cox's crazy eyes, as everyone called them, turned to JD. He took a breath for courage, and awaited the shit storm that was going to be dumped on him. Dr. Cox opened his mouth, and then closed it. The older man rubbed the arch of his nose and closed his eyes, looking more tired than JD was used to seeing him, more tired that he allowed people to see him.

"Help me remove this central-line, now, would you, JD?"

"Of course, Dr. Cox."

JD immediately fell into motion, checking up on the patient, a smile spreading on his face. Dr. Cox left shortly after that.

***

"Hey JD."

"Hey Elliot."

"I want to say… I'm sorry about earlier. I totally stand by my actions, but I saw the work you guys did and I didn't realize how big it was. Not to mention you probably had to put up with him all this time, anger and bad temper included. So, I guess what I'm saying is, I didn't mean anything bad by it, okay? It really wasn't to sabotage you guys, even thought I think I am right."

JD was tempted to say that his time with Dr. Cox had been pretty agreeable, but he knew it was unlikely that Elliot would believe him. Not to mention, he was still a little mad at her for nearly destroying their work, even if it had been done with good intentions.

"I swear, I won't stand in his way if you do it again but… Great on you for standing up to him like that."

JD meant it. Elliot had the tendency to let people walk all over her. He was proud of her. He still thought she had to be a bit crazy to go against Dr. Cox so openly.

"So we are all good?"

"Yup"

Elliot hugged JD tightly. They jerked apart when they heard a loud growl.

"Please god, don't tell me it's that time of the year again; when you two hook up"

"NO it's not" "SO not into him!" JD and Elliot denied in synch.

"Don't care!"

Dr. Cox walked away, leaving JD feeling embarrassed. He liked Elliot, a lot in fact, but right now, she was just a friend. All their back and forth never cumulated to anything else but painful breakups and JD wasn't up for that at the moment. That being said, he figured his embarrassment was due to the scolding voice of his mentor. It never failed to make him feel like he was the stupidest person the older man had ever met. That was not a nice feeling when you were trying to impress said man.

"Grey Marathon?"

"You bet!"

JD left with Elliot, ready to stuff his face in chocolate each time someone said "seriously" on Grey's Anatomy.

***

"Pass the blue folder."

JD handed the requested folder to his mentor. He still had a hard time believing that Dr. Cox had agreed to work on their research at JD's place. He was there, willingly, after work hours, with him. It wasn't because they were friends, but JD still rejoiced. You had to take all the little victories you could get, right?

They worked for a few hours, got pizza delivered and beer was served for his mentor. It was a calm atmosphere, filled with the noise of papers being moved around and pens jolting down. When someone found something interesting they would share it with the other. It was oddly relaxed, with just a few berating and demeaning words from Dr. Cox.

It was going pretty well, until JD's phone rang. He answered, wanting to get rid of the caller as quickly as possible, to avoid disturbing the other man.

"Hello! JD speaking."

"Hi JD. It's Harrison."

JD could not utter a word. Was this really happening?

"JD? Are you still there?"

"Yes, yes I am, Harrison."

JD could have sworn he saw his mentor shift on the sofa.

"So… How are you?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?"

"I know, I'm sorry. I just don't know how to start this conversation."

JD sighed. He wanted this over with, yet he wanted to talk with Harrison. A little part of him still longed for the short man, and he hated himself for it.

"Well, just say it."

"You're right, I should be honest and straight forward about this. It was what broke us apart and I really don't want to repeat that mistake. JD… I've been here for weeks, and I've been trying to go out and meet someone… Anyone. And I can't. When I get asked out, I say no because I still feel like I belong to you. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I miss you and I love you. I made a mistake and I'm sorry so… Please, come see me in Vancouver and let's fix this... Us."

"Are you serious? You want me to go to Vancouver?"

"Yes –"

JD didn't hear the end of that sentence because Dr. Cox had literally snatched the phone out of his hands and was now talking in his very low voice. That was when he was the scariest.

"Listen you high-maintenance, self-centered, over-groomed jackass. If you want to make up with JD you're the one who should come back down here, crawling and begging for forgiveness not the other way around. You're the one who dumped his innocent and trusting ass without consideration for his feelings and you have the guts to call him and order him around like a dog? I swear to god, if you so much as text him, I will hunt you down, castrate you and wear your balls as trophies around my neck!"

JD started in disbelief as his mentor snapped the cell phone closed. There was an awkward silence. JD didn't know what to say or do. The older man had literally defended his honor.

"Pink folder."

JD shook his head to try and clear his mind. He grabbed the file and handed it over. The older man started reading.

"Thank you."

Dr. Cox's eyes didn't leave the paper he was reading, but he grunted. JD knew it was his mentor way of saying "you're welcome".

***

JD was in a peachy mood. Work was just great and his friends were pleasant. He only heard from Harrison once, in a text message that said "Sorry." JD didn't contact him. He agreed with what Dr. Cox had said: Harrison had to make the next move. Not that it was easy for JD. He had always been eager to please, eager to love and be loved. It had been a serious relationship, and his feelings had not disappeared overnight, but JD knew better, knew he deserved better. Other than that small grey cloud, his life was sunny and bright and he was loving it.

"Smile. Smile. Enjoy your moment of peace, but soon, very soon, I will ambush you! You will see no light, no hope, no future!"

The janitor taunted him in his usual over-dramatic voice. JD just smiled at him and didn't get distracted from his goal: the bathroom. He had noticed that the more passive he was to the Janitor's threats, the more it annoyed the tall man.

JD smile grew as he got closer to the bathroom, when, suddenly, an arm grabbed him and pulled him in a supply closet. JD turned around making grand karate-y gestures to scare his aggressor.

"I'm terribly sorry to scare you, Dr. Dorian, but I really wanted to talk to you."

JD dropped his arms, his guards, unable to stay either angry at or scared of the shy but bright nurse in front of him. She had cherry red lips, round like an "o", that would normally have charmed him right away, but not now, not yet. He wasn't ready just yet.

"Please call me JD. You could have talked to me in the corridor you know, I'm quite the approachable guy."

JD smiled smugly. He was very proud of his people skills; he felt it was his strongest point.

"Oh I know you are, but each time I try to approach you… Can I ask you a question?"

JD was curious now. The woman voice and gestures showed she was shy but determined.

"Sure… Hmmm?"

"Cindy."

"Go ahead, Cindy."

"I was wondering, if you would go out with me? For a coffee or something."

"Oh. I'm terribly sorry Cindy, but I will have to turn you down."

"It's okay, I didn't know if the rumors were true. I just thought I'd give it a shot. You _really_ are my type of guy…"

"Rumors? I'm bisexual, it means I like both gender…"

"I know that. I meant, about you and Dr. Cox."

"Me and Dr. Cox?"

"Oh, but I think it's adorable really! He's so protective of you! He scares off anyone that tries to ask you out or check you out. I tried to approach you a few times myself, but I'm terrified of him. It makes more sense now that I know you two are a couple. We just didn't think that he bent that way you know…"

Cindy was moving her hands a lot, obviously embarrassed.

"We are not a couple."

"Oh."

"I turned you down because I'm not ready to be in a relationship just yet."

Cindy tried to talk more, embarrassed and flushed, but JD left the closet without a word or a glance back. He would feel bad about it later, she had sounded like a really sweet girl, but right now, all he felt was anger. He stormed off, determined to find his mentor but stopped in his track and walked back a few steps. He was going to the bathroom, then to his mentor. It took courage to face the older man and he was not about to do it with a full bladder. A few minutes later, he was back on track and angrier then before. The pause had only increased his sour mood; giving him time to piece things together and the final picture wasn't pretty.

"Where's Dr. Cox?"

"Hi Bambi! He's in the living room… Hey, what's wrong?"

JD didn't answer; he just kept moving. Unless a patient crashed at this very moment, nothing was going to stop him. He opened the room in a swift movement; saw that no one was there, exception of his mentor, sitting on the sofa, watching his soap.

"Dr. Cox!"

The older man ignored him, like he had often done in the past. Normally, that would be the moment JD would start to doubt himself, to be scared, to back down. Not today. His anger and his pain were stronger than his fear of the older man. Besides, after all those years, he knew Dr. Cox couldn't do much to him, except, maybe, sucker punch him. That didn't scare him.

He walked with a newfound determination toward the TV and turned it off.

"Lola, you didn't just do that." Dr. Cox growled.

JD held himself straighter.

"Oh yes I did, you jerk!"

He really needed to improve his insulting skills. JD just wasn't used to confronting people. His forte was making friends not breaking with them.

"What did you say Velma?"

"Oh you heard me and you are going to hear me good now too, because I have enough of you and your hating. I spent the last few years taking your crap day in and day out, and it was all a-o-k because you are a jerk who has a hard time expressing himself. But you know what? That's bullshit. You just keep pushing and pushing, and pretend to care and then you turn around and isn't it nice, you give me more crap. You ignore me for a month, and I still come around and try to open you up and mend our relationship. But you know what? You have just managed to cross the line. Scaring people away from me because you have issues about my sexual orientation is NOT OKAY. What is so wrong with you that you can't accept me? Why do you do this to me? All I ever asked from you is to teach me how to be a good doctor and for you to be a father figure. I think that there are things far worst in life than that, and seeing what kind of childhood you had, I'm pretty sure you are aware of that too!"

JD stopped to breath. Years of frustrations, pains and rejections had left his chest the minute he finished his speech. So did a lot of his courage, as he stood there, waiting for Dr. Cox to most likely explode in front of him.

"I don't want to be your father."

A simple, quiet statement that was said between gritting teeth. The older man was staring at him, jaw tight.

"I know! 'Cause I'm such a horrible person! You have expressed that so many times by now, degrading me, humiliating me and calling me girl names. I know quite clearly, in big bold letters, that you hate me."

JD started to walk away.

"I don't hate you."

JD stopped, turning his head slowly toward the older man.

"Why? Why did you ignore me? Why did you scare those people away?"

JD asked softly. He wished he didn't sound so fragile, wished he could remain cold and in control. But, as usual, he came undone in front of Dr. Cox.

"Listen, Ophelia, I didn't threaten them or hurt them. I barely glared, occasionally growled, at them and that was enough to make them scamper away like they were little children and I was the big bad wolf about to eat them. And if instead of riding your PMS wave, you'd stop and think for a minute here, maybe you'd realize I haven't been that bad to you either, not since we started working on the research. So get down off your self-righteous high horse and stop trying to pin me down as the reason for all the things that aren't to your liking, because the only thing I owe you is an explanation for ignoring you, nothing else."

Shame overtook JD as he realized his mentor was right. He hadn't been worse than in the past, he actually had improved. He then realized that Dr. Cox was still avoiding the question. It made him pull himself back together, at least for a moment.

"Why did you ignore me?"

JD waited, looking straight at his mentor. The man took a breath in, as if to collect himself, collect courage, but that would be impossible seeing that it was Dr. Cox. He wasn't afraid. Not of something as trivial as a question.

"I love you."

**AN2: ** And I'm leaving you all on a cliffhanger. I promise to try and write the next part as quickly as possible! I try to avoid cliffhangers for chapters ending, most of the time, but I think this chapter asked for it!

Thank you list: Lady Ashlynne, kurofye.D, LadyLecter47, Uki465, maximom4077, hg833, TerraRydya, catgrl106, ZoeeX and sammysstar.


	7. Part 7: My Answer

**Title: **My Person (7/?)

**Author: **scones_better

**Rating: **PG-13 (Major swearing in the first portion of this part! You've been warned!)

**Genre: **Romance (with dashes of light angst)

**Summary: **When JD take care of a special patient, he discover a part of himself he didn't know about. JD/Patient to be JD/Cox in the future.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing and make no money out of this. If those characters were mine, they would be, very, very gay.

**AN: ** This part was hard to figure out, I hope you will enjoy it. Sorry for the major delay, I had a lot of things to deal with in "real life". As usual, a big thank you to the fantabulous sosaith for being such a great, smart, and patient beta!

**My Person**

_**Part 7: My Answer**_

JD was standing in the doctors' lounge, waiting for Dr. Cox to answer him. It would explain the situation but, also, what kind of person Dr. Cox was deep down. Had all those years of semi friendship been for nothing? This could mean be the beginning of something… Or it's end. JD waited for the answer, and with each second that passed, weight was added to his shoulders.

"I love you."

JD blinked a few times, trying to figure if he was having one of his fantasies. He shook his head, but nothing changed, there was no clearing up, no realizing that he had been zoned out for a while. This was happening. Dr. Cox had just admitted to having romantic feelings for him. The moment the words registered in his mind, JD was filled with pain.

"You hurt me because you love me? You know that's twisted. In fact there's a medical term for that—"

Dr. Cox sharp but calm voice cut JD short. JD became quiet; years of being lectured to as a student making him silent by reflex, regardless of his anger. And maybe he was hoping Dr. Cox would prove him wrong, as usual. That he would explain.

"I didn't hurt you because I love you, I hurt you because I didn't want to love you, and before you start whining like the precious, little drama queen you are, put yourself in my shoes for a minute here, Cinderella."

Dr. Cox rose from the sofa and stood in front of JD, very close to JD, in fact. The cocky snappiness had dropped from his speech, leaving him with a hollow, honest and tired voice that JD recognized immediately. It was the voice the older man had used when he told him he had watched over his shoulder, when he had talked about Jordan's unfaithfulness and when his patients had all died from the rabies. It was his serious voice, his honest voice. He started talking once more, a bit harsher.

"I'm in my late forties; I have an ex-wife who I unfortunately have to include in my life because I also happen to have a son. I am an antisocial jackass and I managed to develop feelings for a guy that is at least 10 years younger then me, who, even if he happens to be bisexual, is obsessed with the idea of me being his father. I might be self-destructive but even I know when to abandon a sinking ship."

JD felt Dr. Cox's breath, felt the air getting still around them, heard the silence surrounding them. He didn't know what to say, what to do, what to think. He wasn't sure what he had expected, but this wasn't it. "_I love you"_ wasn't it. In that moment, he knew he wasn't the only one with weights on his shoulders, on his chest.

"JD! You won't believe what just hap— I can come back later…"

"You are not interrupting anything Gandhi. I'm all done with Bethany here, she's all yours."

JD tried to read his mentor's expression, tried to think of something to say or do. He couldn't fallow him, couldn't stop him, because the honest truth was that there would still only be silence. JD didn't know… Anything. He has never been in this situation and it's too new and too surreal.

"…Did something happen?" Turk asked with his signature eyebrow raise, slamming his fist into his other palm for emphasis. "I swear if he's still giving you trouble I will hunt him down."

"He just admitted he had romantic feelings for, well, me."

Turk laughed a little and then noticing JD was dead serious, fainted.

JD shook his head. For once his fantasy wasn't that far off of what could actually happen.

"No, no, it was just an argument about the research, nothing new there. So what happened?"

"You won't believe it! This patient came in with a giant…"

Turk talked excitedly, wanting to share this incredible story with his best friend. JD listened attentively; laughing and nodding. It's what he did best.

***

JD didn't cross path with Dr. Cox for the remainder of his shift. He was filled with guilt because he was actually happy about it and that made him pretty selfish. The universe must have known, because things started to go downhill from there.

Patrick Tandy and his seven years old daughter, Ruth Tandy, had been in an accident. Ruth had had the worst of it. JD had given the responsibility of the dad to one of his intern that way he could focus his attention on Ruth' majors needs. Just when he was finishing treating the kid, JD saw Mr. Tandy start crashing in the next room. The man had had major internal bleeding that went unnoticed by the naïve intern who was fooled by the dad's easy smile and his paternal instinct blocking the pain until his daughter was stable and out of danger. Mr. Tandy was immediately sent to an OR. Not long after his departure, his daughter started crashing. JD immediately took control of the situation, ordering Carla and Cindy around, juggling medicine and crash cart, trying his best to make those monitors shut up.

Her father made it. She didn't.

JD was left blank, not knowing what to think. She shouldn't have died. Her case hadn't been severe, serious yes, but not uncontrollable, not like her dad's internal damages. It made no sense.

"Want to go out for a drink?"

"That'd be great Chocolate Bear."

"I don't think so, q-tip. You still haven't done your paperwork, not to mention that your interns have made a mess of theirs."

"Oh come on Lavern, just this once! Jesus would understand!"

"No exceptions." Lavern glared sternly at Turk.

"It's okay Turk, next time maybe?"

"You're going to be okay?"

"Yeah… A hug from my Super Chocolate Bear?"

"Dude, you don't even have to ask."

JD felt warmth spread through him as his friend's strong arms enveloped him in a tight hug that lasted just a little longer then most guy friends would feel comfortable with. JD had never been as happy as he was that he and his best friend didn't fit with the majority.

Turk left with Carla, leaving JD to a mountain of mind numbing paperwork. While he had sought the boring chore after his break up with Harrison, tonight he just wanted to go home, away from the hospital, from the still unconscious Patrick Tandy, from Dr. Cox. He had a hard time focusing on the words, as they seemed to shift into the older man's speech. _I love you_ covered every chart, assailing him the second he lost his concentration. After a few hours, much more than it should have taken him, JD managed to leave the hospital, just in time for a downpour. While he loved Sasha, driving a scooter in a storm was never pleasant or easy. Especially not with Ruth's death on his mind.

JD got home soaked and cold to the bone. He had been distracted and had taken the wrong turn twice, doubling his driving time. He decided to go take a shower to warm himself up, while an instant pizza cooked in the oven.

"FUCK! SHIT! SHIT!"

Obviously, He's plan didn't go exactly like he had hoped. JD jerked away from the offending shower stream, which had decided to pass from blissfully warm to icy cold without warning.

JD rarely used the word fuck, not that he didn't swear, but he didn't like that particular word. He had nothing against people using it, he just felt like it didn't belong in his mouth. It always felt more vulgar coming from him then from, say, Turk. He had used it exactly 3.5 times in his life and could remember each one of them vividly.

The first time, he was 5 years old. He heard his dad say it after one too many failed attempts at selling his office supplies in a especially tight time. JD didn't know what the word meant, but it was brand new to his young ears and he was eager to try it out. When he tipped over his glass of milk one sunny afternoon, at cookie time no less, he used it. It had sounded more like "fock", but his mother had immediately recognized the attempted swear and had severely chastised him for it. It had stayed with him through the years, because his very busy mother had taken the time to discipline him, something quite rare.

He was 15 the second time he said it. He was an awkward, lanky and geeky teen who got picked on regularly for just existing really. "Fuck!?" had been said, clearly and surprised. Surprised at the eager mouth working down there. Surprised that a girl, any girl, had wanted him, wanted to do that to him. Surprised at the sensation, the jolt of pleasure that took him over.

He was an angry and vindictive 17 year-old mess when he said his .5 fuck. He had been mad at his mother for taking his brother side yet again; "FU-" of "fuck you" came out. Yes, yes, only half of it came out before his dad took him by the collar and shook him.

"No proper man yells that way at a woman."

JD had still felt furious, but more than that, ashamed. His father had never been aggressive toward him in the past, and never was again either. JD never swore at a woman again.

"Fuck me!" JD had breathed it out, heavy and needy. Harrison had complied eagerly, with the passion of a newly budding relationship and the energy of youth. It wasn't that long ago and JD could still remember the pain fallowed by pleasure, awkwardness countered by soft skin and his overflowing mind being eased by the sensation of being taken, fully.

This was his 4.5th "fuck". And it wasn't due to the icy cold shower. It was because he couldn't figure out how to fix things. Because he still couldn't figure out what he had done wrong, why Ruth had died. Because he had no idea what he would tell her father. And because even with this seven year-old girl's death on his mind, all he could hear in his mind was "_I love you_".

That 4.5th "fuck" was for himself.

***

The next day, JD was nervous and fidgety and, for once, it had nothing to do with the odd looks the Janitor was sending him. He had been working for a few hours and had yet to see Dr. Cox. He didn't know what to expect; would the older man refuse to work with him anymore? Would he request JD change shifts or maybe he would change his?

Not to mention, JD was to be reviewed during a Morbidity and Mortality conference today. A rush had been made on Ruth's autopsy so her case could be included because the next M&M wouldn't be for another month. All eyes on him, judging him, no matter what they said about M&M being a "non-punitive" form of review, everyone knew better.

"Bambi, are you okay? You are twitchier than Elliot when she's afraid of messing up something."

"Oh ha-ha, very funny." JD glared at Carla.

JD didn't say anything more, distracted by his mentor entering at the other side of the room. JD didn't notice any difference in his behavior. Dr. Cox's eyes met with JD's and JD looked away, feeling ashamed.

"What did you do this time?" Carla asked in her exasperated mother voice.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're all fidgety and you are staring at Dr. Cox, so my guess is you two are arguing again."

"No, no." JD answered nervously, a bit too quickly.

"JD… Is it because of what I said? You know, I might have been wrong, maybe he was just being his usual jackass self."

It took a moment before JD realized she was referring to the time she had told him Dr. Cox was scaring away people.

"No, Carla, it's not you I promise."

JD looked back at the room one more time and watched Dr. Cox walk away.

"JD… Is it you? Do you have a crush on Dr. Cox?"

Carla whispered loudly, unable to sound discreet with the excitement that was growing in her voice. JD's face became red.

"Carla! He's like a father!"

He whispered back, just as loudly, unable to restrain himself from mimicking her.

"Oh yes, I'm sure you look at your father's ass that way."

JD eyes went wide.

"I wasn't looking at his ass! You have very odd fantasies Carla, I'm not sure Turk would feel so good about them. But honestly, it's the M&M conference… It's been weighing on me."

"Oh… I had forgotten about that, but I'll be right next to you Bambi. It's going to be fine."

Carla's statement lacked conviction, but he understood why. She had been there with him, and she didn't understand what had happened either. He smiled a little, trying to be just as supportive.

"Yeah, you're right."

"We should go, it starts soon."

JD walked with her, noticing that Dr. Cox had already left. When he passed in front of Mr. Tandy's room, he felt a pang inside his chest. They arrived in the already crowded auditorium and sat at the front table where the microphones waited for them. JD gulped as he saw that Dr. Cox was in front, with Dr. Kelso and Ted. He didn't think the man would let his personal feelings take over this meeting, but JD felt very exposed and small because of the conversation they had.

"Dr. Dorian, please proceed."

JD started talking, explaining the state which Ruth had been in and what he had done to treat her. Carla and the other nurse who had been with him when the little girl had crashed told the same story, validating his actions. He felt more and more uneasy, because each of his steps was the right one yet nothing explained the girl's death. It didn't help that Dr. Cox was staring at him intensely, glancing once in a while at the documents in front of him.

"And then she died at 9:53 in the evening."

"Dr. Dorian do you have any idea what might have caused the death of the patient?"

"No. I wish I did but I don't. I keep retracing my steps but I don't see what I might have missed."

JD grew even more nervous when he saw Doug coming in with the autopsy results.

"Dr. Dorian, you will be glad to know that you did everything right. The results here show that Ruth Tandy's death was the result of an adverse drug reaction…"

JD's whole body felt immediately lighter has relief passed trough him. Adverse drug reactions were very rare and therefore very hard to predict. Not to mention that Ruth's body had already been pretty exacerbated by her wounds. Finally having the answer to Ruth's death was a blessing. Losing a patient was always hard, but when it was a child people tended to feel twice as bad.

When JD's eyes met his mentor, his feeling of relief was quickly dissipated, replaced by the heavy weight of realization.

JD hadn't answered Dr. Cox.

***

JD stood in front of the solid, imposing door. It was nine in the evening; it had taken him a few hours to gather the courage to drive here. He knew he had to do this. He had to give Dr. Cox a proper reply to his admission. JD refused to think of the word "confession" because Perry Cox would never confess anything, admit yes, confess no. But JD knew how it felt to be left without an answer. It was worse than rejection, worse than being turned down.

Knock, knock, knock!

JD went to knock again, but the door opened, not fully, but enough for him to see the older man completely.

"Hi, Dr. Cox."

His mentor had, for the briefest moment, something akin to hope in his eyes. Not a split second later, his face was stern, guarded.

"What do you want?"

"To talk."

"Well spill it, I don't have all evening here."

"I just wanted to say… I appreciate how you feel, it means a lot coming from you, but I don't return the feelings. I'm sorry. I'm just not ready to be in a relationship yet. Not to mention, it's not what I want from you. I know you don't want to hear this, but to me you're a mentor and a father figure. I want to be like a son to you."

"Well goody, thank you for telling me what I already know. I don't need a son, JD, I already have one, and what I need you can't provide, so how about you just scram, now that you are done emptying your heart and feel better about yourself. "

"But what about work—"

JD was left standing in front of a closed door. Dr. Cox words stung, hitting home like only the older man knew how, meant to hurt as strongly as possible. JD would have taken any girl names over his own, especially when his was said with such bitterness.

He had expected to feel better; he had done the right thing. Weren't you supposed to feel good afterward? He found himself driving home with a heavy heart and the sensation of missing something.

***

JD dropped on his sofa, closing his eyes, trying to relax. His cell phone rang and he answered without thinking, without looking, eager to be distracted by one of his friends.

"JD speaking!"

"Hi JD, it's Harrison. Please don't hang up."

JD wanted to, so very much so, but something in his ex-boyfriend's voice made him stop.

"What is it?"

"I… I know it probably counts for nothing and that you are probably tired of me, but… I'm sorry. I mean it. Dr. Cox was absolutely right and his speech really got me thinking. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I just wanted to offer a sincere apology for the way I treated you. I promise I won't be calling about us anymore, that I won't bother you anymore. I just wanted to end this on the best possible terms."

JD sighed. This wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want to talk about relationships or anything related to Dr. Cox. But JD was a people person first, and he felt how genuine Harrison was being.

"I forgive you."

"You do?"

"Yup. Although, I'm warning you, if you don't keep your promise, I will get a new number."

"Ha-ha, no offence taken, I had a stalker ex-boyfriend once. So, friends?"

"Friends."

***

JD arrived at work tired and worried. He hadn't slept all that well, and he didn't know what to think of his situation with Dr. Cox. He didn't know how to prepare himself. They had been working together for such a long time, and lately a lot closer too. They even saw each other after work for their research. Things were bound to changes between them.

That's why he was very surprised when Dr. Cox walked past him, barking "Out of my way, Medusa."

He had expected to be ignored or yelled at, or something… More. Wait. Medusa? Wasn't she the creepy lady with snakes on her head? He knew his hair were bad this morning, he had been in a rush after all, but even for Dr. Cox that was more meaner than usual.

JD grabbed his charts at the station and started his rounds. He was pleased that all of them were stable and a fair number of them were actually improving. He crossed paths with Dr. Cox for only the second time this morning, and this time the older man didn't even talk to him, walking at good pace to whichever destination he was going to. JD was walking behind him when Carla's words came back to his mind.

"_Oh yes, I'm sure you look at your father's ass that way."_

JD's eyes dropped, observing the man's behind, taking it into consideration for the first time in years. All of his friends' comments concerning JD's attitude toward the older man started to make more sense to him. No one thought their fathers were "handsome", not in the way JD meant it anyway. JD walked straight into a door. He should know, by now, that ogling someone while walking always ended up this way.

JD sat there for a minute, still. He just realized that he had been checking out his mentor.

"Damn Carla and her mind tricks! If she hadn't said anything, I wouldn't even have done anything in the first place."

"You're talking to yourself, too? I thought I was the only one doing it! It really reassures me, I mean my cousin Samantha used to do it all the time and she … well checked out early, so I was worried it meant I was heading that way too..."

"As long as you don't answer yourself…"

"Of course not, ha-ha."

Elliot had answered a bit too quickly, but JD knew better than to mention it. She helped him get up, pulling him, and JD smiled, still surprised at how strong she was. He walked with her, listening to her high-speed monologue. Carla's words brought questions to JD's mind, and he found himself speaking without thinking.

"Say Elliot, when we were together, what bothered you the most?"

Elliot blinked in surprised. JD couldn't blame her; she had been talking about whether or not she should match her curtains to her brand new bunny slippers.

"Oh you know JD, all sort of things. But it's in the past, we were meant to be friends, don't you think?"

"I won't take offence! I can take it!"

"You always say that and then you get upset!"

"Please, Elliot!"

"Fine. You always sided with Dr. Cox, no matter what, and your friendship with him always came before our relationship. And you were a bit self-centered. And you kept stealing my beauty products. You still owe me for that mango body butter, by the way."

Elliot had turned and stabbed JD in the chest with her index finger, looking like she meant business.

"But I like your products… They smell nice!"

"Buy your own!"

Elliot walked away in her usual self-righteous way that always made JD chuckle. His face became a bit more serious when he realized that Elliot wasn't the first of his girlfriends to criticize him for the time he spent with his mentor. Heck, even Dr. Cox had repeatedly told him to always side with his girlfriends and he had completely ignored him, time and time again, to be with him or in his good graces.

Okay, so maybe, he didn't want Dr. Cox as a father figure. He found him handsome and he wanted his approval but that could simply be a mentor/student relationship. He often said he wanted to be like Dr. Cox. There were numerous examples of that through history. Heck, the Greeks were pros at it.

JD was sitting with Dr. Cox, both of them dressed in white togas, surrounded by impressive columns.

"Good job, JD. You make me, Perrixus Coxius, proud to be your Mentor."

Perry Cox placed his hand on JD's shoulder, looking at him with nothing less than lust.

JD shook his head. He had forgotten that there was a time when the Greeks mentor/student relationship also included a sexual aspect.

"Wrong example, wrong example!"

"Still talking to yourself, Nanette? You know, they have a special room, all white and padded, waiting for you, you just say the word."

"H-hi Dr. Cox."

JD stuttered, taken by surprise. He hadn't seen his mentor coming back from whichever room he might have been in a few minutes earlier. Not to mention, the man was talking to him up front. He had expected at the very least, awkwardness or tension, but no. It was like nothing had happened.

"I wasn't talking to myself…"

"Don't care."

Dr. Cox walked away with his usual "don't bother me" walk. JD sighed. Dr. Cox pretending that nothing had happened should have made it easier on JD, but instead, it just made him angry. The man sure was recovering fast from rejection. So much for "I love you."

JD looked down at his charts, his mind set on work. Work was safe. He enjoyed work and he was damn well going to continue being good at it, regardless of everything else.

Lunchtime came around and JD sat with Turk, Carla and Elliot. They were talking animatedly about one of Turk's odd surgery cases when Dr. Cox joined them. He started talking with Carla, eating his healthy lunch like he hadn't admitted having feelings for JD two days ago. JD shook his head, focusing back on his best friend. He wasn't upset. Nope.

The day went on without anything out of the ordinary to punctuate it. JD had just finished his shift but couldn't go until he was done with his paperwork. He was sitting on the sofa in the doctors lounge, working on the boring papers with attention. He really didn't want to face the wrath of an angry Lavern. He was so focused, he didn't hear anyone come in, until said person was sitting next to him. JD looked up from his work, to find Dr. Cox going through the channels with the remote.

"Hi, Dr. Cox."

Dr. Cox's only answer was a nod, as his eyes remained focused on the screen. JD felt the anger of earlier rising once more. It all vanished when he saw what Dr. Cox did. He had lifted his arm to rest on the back of the sofa, behind JD, as he usually did, but he had stopped his motion, and then pretended to stretch, letting the arm fall back on his lap. JD felt guilty for even thinking the older man was untouched by JD turning him down. He should have known better, seeing how many times he had been there himself. Dr. Cox was trying to save the little dignity he had left in him.

JD kept quiet. When he got up, ready to leave, he noticed the man was watching him. He never thought Dr. Cox would look at him that way. The intensity in his eyes was almost unbearable.

"Goodnight Dr. Cox."

"'Night."

JD smiled a little. That was the nicest thing the man had said all day. He thought he ought to wonder why it filled him with so much joy, but he pushed it away, too happy to have made it through the day to ponder on it.

**AN: ** Next part is already started, but I still can't promise a quick update. I think we are going to close this in 9 or 10 part, so we are getting there people!

Thank you list: _**Andromeda-Rayne, LovePain, Mighty-Kites, jean kitsune, **__**JellyFish72, Rerry, Georgeluver92, Stromi, Kim Briggs,**_


	8. Part 8: His Three Words

**Title: **My Person (8/?)

**Author: **scones_better

**Rating: **PG-13

**Genre: **Romance (with dashes of light angst)

**Summary: **When JD take care of a special patient, he discover a part of himself he didn't know about. JD/Patient to be JD/Cox in the future.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing and make no money out of this. If those characters were mine, they would be, very, very gay.

**AN: ** Hi there! I know some of you are not big on the switch of POV, but for myself and the others who like them, I felt another Perry pov was in order. I had a lot of fun writing it! Hope you guys like it! As usual, thank you to the superb sosaith for being such a patient and diligent beta!

**My Person**

_**Part 8: His Three Words**_

Perry was impressed and for once it had nothing to do with himself.

When JD had turned up at the hospital unexpectedly, begging for work and not for attention, he thanked all the names of the deities he didn't believe in. They had traumas coming out of their ass, and he was surrounded by incompetent fools: having someone with a brain, admittedly a very glittery one, was more than welcome. He didn't have high expectations at first, but JD really came through. The kid had ran up and down, left and right, he had taken all the yelling and the pressure, and he hadn't even complained once. JD was manning up after his break up, and Perry respected that. Not to mention that having a partner that was as much on the ball as you were was exhilarating to say the least. Not that JD was his partner. Perry had to keep himself in check… He was possessive by nature. He couldn't appropriate JD for himself, without JD's consent. The few times he had tried that, the ladies hadn't really liked it, and it only ended badly for Perry. He had the feeling that gender wouldn't make a difference in that specific situation.

Perry wanted to thank JD, but that wasn't an easy thing for him. He just didn't know how to express feelings that weren't related to anger. When he was in line to buy himself a coffee, he figured the nice thing to do would be to get one for JD, too. He bought a mochachino, seeing how JD had an incredibly sweet tooth.

Perry was surprised when he heard himself say "Good job, JD." It came out of his mouth with ease and he somehow felt nice about it, something quite new to him. They stayed silent, comfortable with each other. That was new too and just as welcome.

He got home, exhausted yet satisfied. He hadn't felt that great in ages and was glad for such a challenging day. It made him feel young again. Which meant he was getting old. Christ.

***

Perry had been at the hospital for a few hours already. He had come in early, wanting to check on his trauma patients, especially since they had been stuck with the interns all night. He had been relieved to see none of them had made any mistakes of elephantine proportions. He stopped at the nurse station under the pretence of looking for charts, when in reality he was just waiting for JD.

The younger man was currently with his usual group of friends and Perry could not help but listen to their conversation. They were talking about JD and Harrion's breakup. Perry let a superior smile play on his lips and crossed his arms proudly over his chest; JD had told him first, before his friends, before his family, and even before his almost wife Gandhi. JD had chosen him, preferred him. He knew he shouldn't feel so damn good about it but he couldn't help it. Just because he had romantic feelings toward JD didn't mean he was about to become a pile of glittery fluff. He never had and never would and that was good for everyone. He was competitive and not a little narcissistic.

"Oh, JD… I'm so sorry." Carla's voice was full of motherly instinct, naturally.

"What an ass!" Gandhi, of course, used his very limited vocabulary to form a mild comeback.

"So, how is Dr. Kelso's house?" Barbie.

Perry growled, not even hearing Carla's and Turk's indignant "ELLIOT!" He advanced toward them, resisting the urge to strangle the blonde. He knew he was not the nicest guy around, and he sure had been and probably would always be a tactless bastard to JD, but even he had the common decency to let some time pass before stabbing the guy in the wound; for the big things anyway. He felt his protective instincts rise up inside him, and found himself ranting to Barbie and poking at JD's tardiness, to bait him into f ollowing him.

"Way to show you care Barbie! A bit more and I might just cry because of how touched I am with your tact and empathy for your sister. Bravo! And Erica, if you are quite done emptying your heart to your girlfriends, maybe you could get started on, oh I don't know, doctoring and lend me a hand?"

"I'll catch up with you guys later!"

JD was now following him. They talked about the patients, establishing a plan of actions to manage the unusual situation and exchanging opinions on the best treatments to give them, and the best way to ensure they stayed stable regardless of the idiotic interns. The younger man was being extremely serious and focused, but also quite smart and Perry faked annoyance when really he was extremely pleased about it. He had believed JD to be a great doctor; he was proving to be not only an excellent one but also a wise, if sometimes odd, human being.

Perry went about his usual business, providing care and managing stupid interns, all the while thinking about whether or not he should take JD on for the research he had been working on. Some people would have easily believed that Perry was unsure of JD's capacities or that he didn't want to be stuck with the "annoying" man any longer than necessary, but the honest truth was that Perry wasn't sure he could handle being with JD even more than he already was. Not that he thought he could not control his feelings for the younger man, but Perry was simply wondering if he should risk getting closer. If he should risk getting any more attached than he already was. He never had been one for one-sided feelings; he liked to fight for his love interest, not to observe them from afar with loging eyes, that was for wimps. But from a purely professional standpoint, JD was the one he would trust the most with the research. He knew Barbie would be diligent and hardworking, but he couldn't stand the sight of her at the hospital, he was not going to force himself to spend even more time with her than necessary.

Perry could also see it at as a test, to see if JD and he could manage to be civilized toward each other, if there was any reason for Perry to believe they could ever be a couple. Not that JD would ever be interested in Perry in that way, he always wanted him to be his father. Perry thought that maybe if he saw that him and JD could never be a healthy pair, his feelings for the younger man would dissipate. While Perry was slowly accepting the fact that he liked JD in a romantic fashion, he wasn't sure it was a good thing; they were never really equals. The last thing Perry wanted was another twisted relationship. He sighed, and decided to take JD on. Better find out as soon as possible.

JD had eagerly agreed to work on the research, reminding Perry just how much the younger man was comparable to a puppy. They started to spend more and more time with each other and Perry found himself relaxing around JD, listening to him more attentively, respecting him more as both a doctor and a person. He still berated and teased the younger man, but it was in a much friendlier way, and JD was actually getting it. He was treating JD more like a friend and less like a doctor beneath him. Perry was surprised at how easy it felt, at how little effort it took him. Perry had even let JD teach him a stitching technique. He still worried when he was close to JD, because his attraction to the younger man was quite strong and he didn't want JD to pick up on it. He found himself watching the younger man a lot more and getting himself a lot closer to him whenever they were together than he usually would.

He had to be careful, especially since what he referred to as "that time at the park". He had brought JD with him for lunch, and to work on the research, but he had gotten quite close to JD, and the urge to kiss the younger man had taken over his mind so strongly that it took even him by surprise. If he ever had any doubts of his physical attraction to JD, they were well gone by now. Thankfully, JD hadn't noticed anything.

While Perry had no problem controlling himself around JD, he still had a hard time not scaring people away from the younger man. It wasn't as selfish as some might have thought. While a part of it was clearly possessiveness on Perry's part, there was also an element of protectiveness. JD clearly wasn't looking for attention since his break up, and Perry simply made sure he didn't receive any. He didn't want any jackass or bimbo to come and harm JD when he didn't seem ready for it.

But Perry knew he was in deep when he was at JD's apartment, ranting at Harrison on JD's cell phone. Protecting JD from random nurses and interns was one thing, crushing his ex-boyfriend on the phone was something else altogether. Thankfully, JD didn't seem to mind; he actually thanked him.

Things went on like that for a while, in their newfound balance. They worked together at the hospital, they ate lunch together on a regular basis, and they often spent time working on the research outside of the hospital. It was calm and refreshing and Perry was less and less surprised at how natural it all felt.

And then, one afternoon, while Perry was minding his own business and watching his soaps in the doctors' lounge, JD had come in, enraged. He ignored him, knowing JD was prone to mood swings. When JD had turned the TV off, he knew that this was not going to be a pleasant conversation.

"Lola, you didn't just do that." Dr. Cox growled.

JD had held himself straighter: Perry had been impressed by the younger man's determination, but not by his lukewarm insult.

"Oh yes I did, you jerk!"

"What did you say Velma?"

"Oh you heard me and you are going to hear me good now too, because I have had enough of you and your hating. I spent the last few years taking your crap day in and day out, and it was all a-o-k because you are a jerk who has a hard time expressing himself. But you know what? That's bullshit. You just keep pushing and pushing, and pretend to care and then you turn around and isn't it nice, you give me more crap. You ignore me for a month, and I still come around and try to open you up and mend our relationship. But you know what? You have just managed to cross the line. Scaring people away from me because you have issues about my sexual orientation is NOT OKAY. What is so wrong with you that you can't accept me? Why do you do this to me? All I ever asked from you is to teach me how to be a good doctor and for you to be a father figure. I think that there are things far worst in life than that, and seeing what kind of childhood you had, I'm pretty sure you are aware of that too!"

"I don't want to be your father."

A simple, quiet statement that Perry had said between gritting teeth. He had stared at JD, jaw tight. Each time JD referred to him as a father figure, he felt a stab in his chest. It felt like rejection, over and over again.

"I know! 'Cause I'm such a horrible person! You have expressed that so many times by now, degrading me, humiliating me and calling me girl names. I know quite clearly, in big bold letters, that you hate me."

JD had started to walk away and Perry had felt so very tired in that moment. He knew the time had came, he had to come clean.

"I don't hate you."

"Why? Why did you ignore me? Why did you scare those people away?"

Perry had hated to hear JD so desperate but at the same time, he had felt anger rise in him. JD was trying to make him out as a big bad guy when really, they had been getting along quite well ever since JD had confided in him. Perry would not allow that. He was ready to take a lot of crap, to compromise, but he was not about to be accused of things he hadn't done in the first place.

"Listen, Ophelia, I didn't threaten them or hurt them. I barely glared, occasionally growled, at them and that was enough to make them scamper away like they were little children and I was the big bad wolf about to eat them. And if instead of riding your PMS wave, you'd stop and think for a minute here, maybe you'd realize I haven't been that bad to you either, not since we started working on the research. So get down off your self-righteous high horse and stop trying to pin me down as the reason for all the things that aren't to your liking, because the only thing I owe you is an explanation for ignoring you, nothing else."

"Why did you ignore me?"

Perry had known that that question was coming, and while he would have preferred to avoid it altogether, he had known that there was no other option than to answer it now. He had breathed in, to collect himself, because saying those three words out loud would seal everything for him. His attraction and romantic feeling for JD would become undeniable. He wouldn't be able to turn back unwounded or unchanged. And then he had said it, simply and clearly.

"I love you."

Perry had observed JD, watching the emotions play on his expressive face. He seemed to believe it was a fantasy for a few minutes, and Perry wouldn't have been able to blame him. That was probably the last thing the younger man had expected to hear from Perry. Then reality had dawned on the younger man, and Perry had been surprised to see pain there, of all emotions.

"Your hurt me because you love me? You know that's twisted. In fact there's a medical term for that—"

"I didn't hurt you because I love you, I hurt you because I didn't want to love you, and before you start whining like the precious little drama queen you are, put yourself in my shoes for a minute here, Cinderella."

Dr. Cox had risen from the sofa and had stood in front of JD, as close as he could allow himself to be. He hadn't put on a show and hadn't tried to be the strong, cocky bastard he was well known for being. He had talked honestly, letting other emotions than anger colour his voice.

"I'm in my late forties; I have an ex-wife who I unfortunately have to include in my life because I also happen to have a son. I am an antisocial jackass and I managed to develop feelings for a guy that is at least 10 years younger then me, who, even if he happens to be bisexual, is obsessed with the idea of me being his father. I might be self-destructive but even I know when to abandon a sinking ship."

"JD! You won't believe what just hap— I can come back later…"

"You are not interrupting anything Gandhi. I'm all done with Bethany here, she's all yours."

Gandhi's voice had pulled Perry from the bubble he had been sharing with JD, and back down to reality. He was at the hospital. He was at work. He was supposed to be taking care of people, not to be having a heart to heart conversation with the recipient of his one-sided feelings. Still, he had waited a little, watching JD's face for an answer, but the younger man didn't say a word. Perry had left, promising himself to stay clear of the kid for the remainder of the shift.

It had proved harder than he had expected. Seeing JD's disoriented and miserable features caused by the incident with the Tandys, Perry had wanted nothing more than make JD feel better, maybe ask him if he wanted to go the breakfast joint again. He hadn't. Instead, he had left a few minutes later, with a throbbing headache.

***

Perry woke up for the third time that night, covered in cold sweat. Yes, Percival Ulysses Cox, strong, independent, and brave, couldn't find sleep because of stupid nightmares. They were not from his childhood nor from telling JD "I love you". No, they were frights of the future, or more accurately, what could happen in the future. Perry had seen Ruth being taken away to the morgue by Doug. He had seen children die before, but not in a while. Not since Jack's birth. And that was the problem. She hadn't looked that much older than his son and she hadn't looked terribly injured and yet… He couldn't even imagine what he would do if something similar was to happen to Jack.

Perry got up and prepared himself some coffee. He didn't think he would get much more sleep, and work would start in a few hours anyway. He busied himself with the research for a while, but found he could not focus on it. It reminded him of JD, which he wasn't ready to think of yet, and JD made him think of Ruth again, and that, he just wanted to avoid altogether. He finally got ready and left for the hospital, engrossing himself in work, dreading the M&M conference. It wasn't that Perry didn't approve of M&Ms, he just felt that Sacred Heart didn't take them seriously enough. There was a reason the hospital had the rating it had after all. It also enraged him that lives of human beings were taken so lightly and that mediocrity could be tolerated as long as it didn't bring lawsuits. He still looked forward to it since it would explain what had happened to Ruth, and maybe calm his nerves. He was a grown man; he shouldn't worry so much about "what ifs".

Perry entered the waiting room, near the nurse station. He automatically glanced at the desk to see if JD was there: it was a habit he had developed through the years. He met JD's eyes, unflinching. Perry had promised himself he wouldn't let this situation ruin him. The hospital was his domain, he was not going to lose one of the few things he had been consistently good at through the years. He was still relieved when JD looked away.

Noticing the time, Perry left for the conference room. When it started, he remained quiet, determined to hear every detail, to analyze every word, and to figure out what had happened to Ruth Tandy. JD seemed even more disoriented than the evening before, clearly confused by what could have taken the little girl's life, by what he could have done to obtain such a terrible result. When the autopsy papers came in, Perry let go of a breath he hadn't known he had been holding: at last they would know. As it turned out, it had been a rare case of adverse drug reaction, and Perry told Kelso as soon as possible, wanting JD to feel the relief he couldn't feel himself. What was to say that Jack wouldn't be one of those rare exceptions? And why was it that JD could get answers to his questions and not Perry? Still, the older man acted nice; he could have let the kid stew until Babo had taken notice of the results, but on the contrary, he had still wanted to do good for JD, to ease his mind. Perry turned his gaze toward JD one more time, asking.

Perry's day, with the exception of the M&M conference, was unremarkable. He got home, tired and seeking relief for his persistent headache. He passed his alcohol cabinet, headed straight for the bottle of aspirin and took two of them. Perry then proceeded to lower the blinds and then let himself fall onto his bed for a few minutes. A few hours later, he was woken up from his unplanned nap by relentless knocking on the door. Not used to having visitors, invinted or uninvited, Perry didn't open the door completely, ready to smack it in the face of whoever was stupid enough to come and solicit at his door.

He was surprised to see JD there. Then again not that much: the kid had a tendency to pop at his apartment regardless of Perry insistence that he didn't do so. But, Perry, for a moment, was taken over by the ridiculously mushy and glittery feeling that was hope. The second it occurred to him, he crushed it, knowing too well that in Perry Cox's life there was no such thing as a happy ending. From his childhood, to his wedding and now his one-sided feelings for a guy ten years younger than him, Perry knew it was all doomed. And he wasn't wrong. JD turned him down, making sure to stab the knife further in by reminding Perry how much he saw him as a _father_ figure. Perry slammed the door in the younger man's face, ignoring whatever he was saying. Once someone clearly said "no" what was there to add really? Everything else would be unnecessary words to soften or sweeten the blow. Perry had no use for them; he was, after all, a realist. No meant no, even if it was said with flowers and chocolate and puffy pink clouds.

Perry sighed and laid himself down on the couch. His mind circled on the same thoughts: JD, Ruth, and Jack. Frustrated, he decided to simply pick up the phone and dial, ready to trade his pride for some comfort.

"Hey! If it isn't Perper? Missing me? Changed your mind about the gal?"

"Like hell I did, Harpy. Now pass me my son."

"He's sleeping."

"Jordan. Please."

"…Wait a sec."

Perry knew the only reason Jordan was complying was because he had used the word please. He never said please to anyone, not that way anyway. He also knew the next time he crossed paths with her she would mock him for it. Maybe even ask what had been bothering him, if it was a particularly good day for her. He would prefer the berating.

"Dawdy?"

"Hey Jack… How are you doing?"

Perry spoke with his son, most of it made little sense as the child still couldn't articulate properly, but it was enough for Perry to go to bed and sleep decently that night. The older he got, the softer he became. And he was kind of glad he was.

***

Even though Perry had a throbbing headache and bruised feelings, he was determined to keep the little dignity he had left, intact. He tried to act as casually as possible, so no one would notice. So no one would ask questions. He would not let this affect him or his work. When he crossed paths with JD he didn't ignore him, he just limited their conversations. He focused more on Carla if she was around too. He thought it was all going fine until he got in the doctors' lounge to find JD, seating on the sofa, working. Perry walked in and sat comfortably, everything quite normal and then… And then he caught himself trying to wrap his arm around JD. He, thankfully, managed to stop the gesture before it was fully executed. Perry was reminded in that moment, that there would be nothing easy about this because his feelings for JD ran much deeper than a stupid crush or a silly infatuation. It was that horribly sappy word: Love. And like he had clearly admitted to the hospital shrink a few years back, Perry was, deep down, a romantic. He involved himself fully, heart, mind, and body… So clearly, this was not going to be without trouble.

Perry watched JD get up and bid him goodnight. He forced his own "'Night" out, unable to say more. He felt a pang in his chest when JD smiled a little just before the younger man left.

This was going to be harder than Perry had thought.

**A huge thanx to the fallowing people for Faving/Alerting this story:**

_Ladyblue17, annoyingbells, Kya46, __spidersfrommars__, __Thund3rstar, dobeisme, aquaink, Hino-hoshi, Atie, __and all the anonymous revieweré_


	9. Part 9: My Person

**Title: **My Person (9/10)

**Author: **scones_better

**Rating: **PG-13 (Major swearing in the first portion of this part! You've been warned!)

**Genre: **Romance (with dashes of light angst)

**Summary: **When JD take care of a special patient, he discover a part of himself he didn't know about. JD/Patient to be JD/Cox in the future.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing and make no money out of this. If those characters were mine, they would be, very, very gay.

**AN: ** This really flew out of me! As soon as I was done writing part 7, this just came to me, very naturally. I hope you guys like it! I just want to clearly state that this is not the last part. Part 10 will be an epilogue. You may consider this the last part if you want if you don't care for the epilogue ;) A great thank you to sosaith! She's such an amazing beta!

**My Person**

_**Part 9: My Person**_

A couple of days passed, all in similar pattern. Work was normal, patients mostly stable with an occasional crash here and there, and the same old routine of rounding, doctoring, and paperwork. The only thing different was that, at least once a day, JD would feel Dr. Cox's intense eyes on him. The older man didn't do anything else out of the ordinary except limiting the time he spent alone with JD to the strict minimum. JD couldn't blame him; he did the same whenever he and Elliot broke up. Not that JD and Dr. Cox had broken up.

JD got home that evening, no more tired than usual. JD's cell phone rung and he answered, smiling at the ID. Since he and Harrison had cleared things up between them, they had found good friends in each other. They would call each other without patterns or expectations; it was a simple friendship with light and easy conversations. Harrison was doing better ever since he had said he was sorry to JD, and Harrison was now dating again. Nothing serious, but the guy he was currently seeing sounded like a keeper. JD was surprised at how he didn't feel any jealousy or envy; after all he had wanted a relationship with Harrison. Yet, he simply felt happy for the other man. He still couldn't help but think of their fights though, and something came to his mind.

"_I can't believe it. You, Harrison Kelso, are jealous of Dr. Cox. He is like a father to me!"_

"_Oh yes, all 33 year old men talk about their fathers in this glorified way you do! You crave his approval beyond measure! Heck, you even spend more time than you need to at the hospital just to be in his good graces! We barely go out anymore and we wouldn't have sex half the time either if I didn't instigate it. Actually, we wouldn't see each other all that much if I didn't make the effort."_

"Harrison… I have a question for you."

"Sure, go for it."

"You said something about me glorifying Dr. Cox and wanting his attention, and approval… I was just wondering what you meant by it."

There was a short silence, but just when JD thought Harrison had hung up, the other man spoke.

"Wow, didn't see that one coming, ha-ha. I was upset at the time JD."

Harrison voice was hesitant.

"I know, but it doesn't mean it wasn't founded on something. Besides, you're not the first to mention it."

"Well… Honestly, sometimes I was just a tiny bit worried. Not at first, but the more you talked about him… I felt like you might have had a crush on him. Something you might have developed without noticing since you didn't know you liked men too. I mean, Dr. Cox is a tall, strong and handsome man, it would have made sense. But, you are a sensitive guy and maybe it really is just you seeking a father figure. I could be reading too much into it."

"Oh. Well, thank you."

"Can I ask why?"

"'Just been bugging me, that's all."

"Hmhm. I don't believe you one bit, but I'm going to indulge you and pretend I do."

"Hahaha! Thank you."

"Welcome. Well I have to go. I've got a date and I need to make my hair pretty."

"Haha, isn't it always perfect? Say hi to Mathias for me."

"'Will do."

JD hung up. Harrison had really been jealous of Dr. Cox. He would never have thought so. He sighed, drained. JD was seeing his mentor in a different way lately: through the eyes of an equal, of someone who wasn't trying desperately to see his father in him. There was something more… More human about him, more full and complete. Plus, the man wasn't hard on the eyes either. JD couldn't help blushing at his own thoughts; it was such a surprising thought.

JD, still too awake and aware to go to bed, decided to work a bit on the research before calling it a night. He opened one of the files and recognized Dr. Cox's frenzied writing.

"_I mean, Dr. Cox is a tall, strong and handsome man, it would have made sense."_

JD chuckled. Now he was the one over thinking, over reading. He stretched his arms, and started sorting the notes out, pensively.

There was something there; he just couldn't put his finger on it quite yet.

***

JD had been working all morning and had yet to cross paths with Dr. Cox. He didn't think the man was avoiding him: things were simply busier right now. No huge rush or traumas, just a quicker pace, the kind that would have had worried him his first year but that was now a welcomed change in his routine. His pager went off and, looking down he saw it was Dr. Cox requesting him in room 103. That was Patrick Tandy's room. JD hurried up, worried.

"There you are, Andrea! And here I thought you had died or something, because I rea-ha-lly couldn't figure out why on earth it would take you that much time to get here, but no, you probably just had a hard time coming here in your brand new shoes. I told you, time and time again, high heels might make you feel like you have the sexiest legs of all the gals, it's just nawt work appropriate!"

"Hi, Mr. Tandy!"

"What is he talking about?" Mr. Tandy asked, interested but clearly still tired from the surgeries he had had.

"Don't mind him, he's always cranky in the morning. And in the afternoon. Now that I think of it, in the evening too." JD smiled at the patient, then look at his chart.

"I am SO not—" Dr. Cox tried to interrupt them, but JD just went on.

"If you ignore him, he just explodes, it's quite funny. I'm happy to see you are well on your way to recovery… It should take a few weeks before we even consider you leaving the hospital thought."

"Theresa, I already told him all that. Remember? I'm a good doctor. Now, Mr. Tandy had a few questions concerning Ruth, seeing how you were her doctor, I thought it be more appropriate for you to talk to him."

Dr. Cox gave a small pat on JD's shoulder before leaving. It had been done without thinking and the man had immediately removed his fingers when he had noticed his action. JD felt comfort from the gesture: it was always so hard to tell someone they had lost their loved one. It was worse when you had to tell a parent they wouldn't see their child anymore.

"So… How's my Ruth? When do I get to see her?"

JD breathed in. Well, just out with it, no?

"Mr. Tandy, I'm so sorry…"

JD explained what happened, how Ruth's already tired body hadn't stood a chance to the unexpected adverse drug reaction, how her mother had signed the papers for the rushed autopsy and how she had been taken care of. Mr. Tandy nodded in understanding, remaining calm.

"I see… Thank you… hum?"

"Dr. Dorian, you can call me JD."

"Thank you, JD. Could you thank your partner for me too?"

"My partner?"

"You know, Dr. Cox."

"We aren't partners, everybody works together here."

"I meant, life partner. That word is always so confusing, isn't it?"

"Oh. OH! We aren't a couple, our relationship is strictly professional, sir. Well if there's anything I can do for you…"

"Thank you, again. I'd just like to be alone for now."

"Okay."

JD left. Barely out of the room, he heard the patient start crying. JD felt himself tearing up; it always affected him so much. At least he knew he had done everything he could for Ruth. It didn't stop him from thinking about her and he found comfort in knowing her death wasn't his fault, his responsibility.

He felt a tiny bit bad that in such a sad situation, his mind went back not to the crying man but said man use of "partner".

"_I meant, life partner. That word is always so confusing, isn't it?" _

JD saw his rainbow band on his wrist. Mr. Tandy probably just had jumped to conclusion, from the banter JD and Dr. Cox had and JD being a bit feminine. He still appreciated the fact that the man hadn't seemed bothered by it one bit.

JD went back to his work, knowing he couldn't afford to ponder too long on those things; there were lives to save and people to heal. He looked down at his charts; Mrs. Bloom was next. He wondered if he ought to be happy that after such sad news, he was delivering some positive. The woman was officially clear; she was going to be able to leave this very day. She had gotten more polite as her state had improved, but not by much. JD entered the room.

"Hello, Mrs. Bloom!"

He smiled at her. Always the charmer, she nodded to him like he was bothering her.

"I have good news…"

JD told the elderly woman of her current state, what she would have to do once she left the hospital, what medication to take and what to avoid. He couldn't help but wonder, why a bitter old woman got to live on and a seven years old girl, with all her life in front of her, didn't. He felt bad about not feeling bad. Then the old woman smiled, genuinely this time, and JD ended up just feeling bad. And that, oddly enough, made him feel better. It meant he wasn't cold and bitter yet.

"Thank you, Dr. Dorian."

It was said in a courteous and clipped tone, but her smile was still genuine, and JD knew she meant every word. It also occurred to him that he knew nothing of the woman, and maybe she meant a lot to some people or that maybe, she did good things on her own time. Maybe not either, and that was okay too, because who was he to judge her, really?

***

JD was humming to himself; his shift was over and he had handed in all of his paperwork. He was walking happily, when he saw his mentor in the doctors' lounge. He hesitated a moment, not sure if he should bother him or not, not sure where the line was between them. He wanted to know about their research, if it was still on, if he wanted another doctor to work with him. JD opened the door and knocked on the wooden frame to signal his presence.

"Hi, Dr. Cox."

"Newbie…"

"I was wondering… Just have a good night Dr. Cox."

JD shuffled his feet nervously and waited a little longer to see if the man would answer. They didn't talk all that much lately. Seeing that he wasn't likely to get anything out of the man, he turned to leave. When he reached the door he heard the man talk.

"She wasn't much older than Jack."

JD didn't know what to say to that. Everything sounded so incredibly stupid, even "I know" sounded ridiculous. He didn't know. He didn't know what it was like to have kids, to lose them, to worry over them like Turk and Carla did over Isabella. And so JD moved without thinking, only to realize that he had wrapped his arms around Dr. Cox's shoulders. He quickly removed himself and left the room without looking back.

***

JD was sitting at the park, eating a sandwich. It was his day off but he didn't feel like being alone in his apartment. He was going to hang out with the gang later in the evening, but he couldn't wait. He just wanted to be out of there, somewhere else, somewhere with people. Somewhere where he didn't worry about Dr. Cox hunting him down to kill him for hugging him.

JD had always thought the hospital wouldn't be the same if Dr. Cox wasn't there, especially for him, and he could now confirm it. The simple fact that he was spending less time with the man made his days feel so much longer and that much more boring. Of course he still enjoyed work, and his friends were great, but he hadn't noticed how much of his interactions were with the older man or how he was used to working alongside him.

JD loved this park because it felt both sheltered and open. Once in, you could see all around, but the big trees still made it feel like a little peaceful hidden corner of green in the middle of the big city. He enjoyed watching people go by and he would have loved to create stories about them with Turk, giving them silly voices and odd arguments about pies and chilidogs. He found himself smiling goofily at the tiny children playing in the sand with their bright amazed expressions. JD wouldn't mind having a kid or two one day. He wouldn't have minded anyway, seeing how he wouldn't be in a relationship for a long time, there was no sense in being hopeful about it. He still couldn't help but be filled with joy at the giggles the toddlers made; they just sounded so very happy.

JD found himself thinking about what Dr. Cox had said when JD had turned him down.

"_Well goody, thank you for telling me what I already know. I don't need a son JD, I already have one, and what I need you can't provide, so how about you just scram, now that you are done empting your heart and feel better about yourself. " _

It didn't sting JD as much as it had at the time. In fact, he couldn't believe he had been selfish enough to say he wanted Dr. Cox as a father. The older man had little Jack to care for, a toddler who needed Dr. Cox's attention and fatherly guidance way more then JD did. JD was 33, and it was about time he held himself on his own. Of course, support and advise from friends and wiser, older people were more then welcome, but JD didn't need Dr. Cox taking care of him like that. It probably had been the reason why it had taken so much time for them to be on more equal terms. JD flicked himself on the forehead; he had placed himself in a lower position for years by doing that. He felt pretty silly about it.

"Timothy! Get back here right now!"

A small blond boy was running toward JD, with determination in his eyes. JD thought he looked a lot like Jack. A nanny took the little boy before he reached JD and scolded him for running away like that. JD smiled, knowing the kid just didn't want to leave the park yet, that he was just having too much fun. He wondered what Dr. Cox did with Jack, if they went sporting events that the older man liked so much, if they watched Walt Disney movies together or if Dr. Cox read Jack bedtime stories before the kid felt asleep. He knew he cared for him that was for sure. He could still feel the worry in Perry's voice when he had said _"She wasn't much older than Jack."_ If Jack was to die… It probably would kill the older man.

JD remembered the few times he had taken care of Jack, when he was just a tiny baby. They were occasions to make up to his mentor for his mistakes but it also granted him entrance to the older man's place. JD didn't hate the apartment, he just would have loved to add photos and personal objects here and there to make it feel more lived in and less like a magazine shoot. But Dr. Cox wasn't like that… That was JD's personal taste, because he was a people person and to him that was something that should be part of someone's life. JD sighed when he realized that it bothered him that much more because he wanted to be part of Dr. Cox's life. He didn't want just anybody's pictures on those steel grey walls, he wanted Carla's and Jack's yes, but his own too. Mainly his. He wanted to be invited in as a friend. Wanted to be Jack's silly uncle. Probably "aunt" considering Dr. Cox's tendency to feminize him, but JD wouldn't really mind.

JD sighed as he got up, throwing the sandwich wrapping in the recycling bin. JD had come to terms about so many things: about Dr. Cox not being a father figure, about his own neediness, about JD having to be his own person now… He had hoped that by 30 he would have become a wiser, smarter person. He never really had time to stop and think before. It was shitty at home, focusing on schoolwork so he would get good grades to get out of there, then it was med school with almost no time for anything else and finally being a intern that left you with little time for an actual life. But now he was a doctor, a good one too, and he wasn't jumping from one conquest to the other, leaving him with just enough free time to realize his flaws. Which made him wonder how Dr. Cox got where he was… Forty years old, a few ex-girlfriends, an ex-wife and a son… JD couldn't quite grasp how the man could have fallen for him. JD wondered if Dr. Cox had thought about what it would be like to live with him.

JD, of course, immediately wondered what life would be like with Dr. Cox.

JD was cooking at the stove in Perry's apartment. Just some mac and cheese, nothing fancy but it would go great with a cold beer, or so Perry always claimed. The apartment wasn't very different, it just had more photos on the wall, few more personal possessions, and a few less generic decorations. Perry got in, taking off his jacket.

"I swear to God, they get stupider each year. I mean, never mind that they studied medicine for over seven years prior to their internship, and passed, anyone who graduated from elementary school would never ask me if someone could live without both their lungs!"

"They must have been nervous, you know you can be pretty imposing."

Perry glared at him with his "don't shit with me" face.

"You are way too soft, Marie."

JD smiled fondly at Perry, and served their cheap and easy meal.

"By the way, Jordan called! Jack got an A+ on his math exam!"

JD shook his head and gave a small, slightly nervous laugh. This fantasy had came to his mind a bit too easily and it had felt a bit too normal and comfortable for JD's liking. As he was walking back home, taking in the fresh air, as fresh as it got in the city anyway, JD figured it must be his longing for a comfortable and domestic relationship. There was no way living with Dr. Cox would be that casual, that normal. JD was just curious and a tiny bit lonely, nothing odd about that.

***

The four of them had had a blast. They had danced, and drank and laughed plenty. It had felt fresh and nice, like before their life had become so serious, like in the first few years. It had almost felt like home. Almost… JD still felt like something was missing, even in all that joy and contentment.

Elliot had left at around 11, saying she had to get some beauty sleep, which meant she had a date the following day. JD crossed his fingers for her; she really deserved to find a nice guy. JD had followed Turk and Carla to their place, and Turk had hurried to the bathroom, making the proverb "drink a beer, urinate two" true. JD had fallowed Carla who had paid the babysitter, and checked on Isabella. After a few minutes of silence, JD finally made up his mind to ask Carla a question that had been on his mind for a while.

"Carla, why did you say I was looking at Dr. Cox's ass?"

Carla turned to him surprised, but her face quickly turned motherly and caring.

"It looked that way to me, JD. Besides, it wasn't the first time. There's a reason that people always thought you were gay before you came out, even if you didn't count your odd friendship with Turk. And, well, you always have been a bit obsessed with Dr. Cox, don't make that face, you know it's true."

JD sighed; even in his alcohol haze he knew she was quite right.

"I'm sorry if it bothered you, I didn't mean to offend or trouble you."

"It didn't… I just wondered where it came from."

"Bambi… Are you in love with Dr. Cox? Is that the problem? Me saying that worried you? I won't tell anyone I promise."

JD chuckled. If she only knew.

"Carla, I'm not in _love_ with him and honestly, I don't think you could hold something that juicy in if it was the case!"

JD was surprised at how his voice had stretched the word love. He was even more surprised when Turk came out of the bathroom, looking half dead.

"What's juicy?"

"Mangoes" JD answered to Turk.

"Oh yes they are! Baby, can we have some mangoes?"

The couple argued lightly for a few minutes and then Carla went to bed, clearly exhausted by the evening. Turk and JD promised to be quiet, and JD swore he wouldn't stay too late. She had smiled at them, her expressive face telling them that if they didn't own up to their words, they would regret it. Turk and JD were therefore lounging on the sofa, talking about everything and nothing.

"Say, Turk… If you found yourself spending most of your time with someone, missing them when they are not around, wanting to making them happy, bickering and arguing all the time, thinking of them when your not with them… What would you think?"

"That it sounds like me and Carla. That I'm in love… Yup, deep in love! Wait… Are you saying you found someone like that? Who is it! Come on, share with me, man. This is a matter of capital importance!"

"A lot of people think we are a couple… I was wondering where it came from ha-ha."

"Oh is it the cute nurse, I think she's called Cindy?"

"Hmm maybeeee. I'm very popular lately!"

"That you are!"

They laughed and the conversation soon melted and morphed to other topics. Turk's words only came back to him when he was sitting in the cab during the silent drive home.

"_That it sounds like me and Carla. That I'm in love… Yup, deep in love!"_

JD smiled to himself. Turk had just been drunk and happy. He always got passionate when he drank one beer too many. JD went to bed as soon as he got home, thankful that his next day was going to be a quiet one. It took him a while to fall asleep, as snippets of thoughts and conversations kept swarming about in his mind…

***

JD felt great the next morning. He had slept in, had had his crazy homemade mix of cereals for breakfast, and had stayed in his 'jamies to watch some morning cartoons. He hadn't had such a relaxing day in a while, and it felt blissful. At around 2, he decided he should be a little productive. He had the choice of cleaning his apartment or working on the research. The research won easily and by far.

Curled up on his sofa, with the TV on mute, he spread out the documents they had accumulated. The research was starting to annoy him because something was there, he knew it. He just had a hard time pinpointing it. It was like someone had given him all the clues and pieces but he still couldn't solve the damned puzzle. He was getting irritated.

"_Oh yes, I'm sure you look at your father's ass that way."_

JD picked up the patients' histories, and laid them down next to each other. Why was this so hard?

"_Fine. You always sided with Dr. Cox, no matter what, and always made your friendship with him pass before our relationship…"_

JD scanned the papers he had read, over and over again, looking for something, anything.

"_I mean, Dr. Cox is a tall, strong and handsome man, it would have made sense."_

JD picked up a yellow highlighter, and started singling out some lines.

"_Bambi… Are you in love with Dr. Cox? Is that the problem? Me saying that worried you? I won't tell anyone I promise."_

JD sighed; he was probably wasting his time.

"_That it sounds like me and Carla. That I'm in love… Yup, deep in love!"_

"I wish Perry was here… 'Could talk this through with him."

JD blinked. Had he just referred to Dr. Cox has Perry? He blinked once more as everything in his mind fell into place. He picked up the patients' histories and hurried out of his apartment, heading straight for the Hospital. He needed to know if he was right. God, he was sure he was right.

JD parked Sasha at an odd angle, not caring for his scooter one bit, as he ran into the hospital.

"Where's Dr. Cox?"

JD asked excitedly the nurse who was at the front desk.

"He's in the doctor's lounge… By the way nice PAJAMAS Dr. Dorian!"

JD didn't hear her; he had left as soon she had answered. He was running, with all his energy, and had to take the stairs when the elevator proved to be too slow for his patience, or lack of it. He finally reached the room and opened the door in a brisk movement, slamming it against the wall in the process. A very angry looking Dr. Cox turned toward him, hating to be distracted during his soaps, ready to destroy whoever was bothering him. When he saw JD, his face softened slightly, anger being replaced by disbelief. JD, had he not be in such a hurry, would have understood the bizarreness of the situation. He had barged in the doctors' lounge, on one of his free days, in pajamas no less.

"Dr. COX! I FOUND IT!"

"What have you found now, Alana? I sure hope it's real good for you, else it will go very very—"

"The answer!"

"What… Newbie, did you hit yourself on the head or something?"

"The research, look, I think I have the answer!"

JD hurried up to the older man, almost dropping the patients' histories but managing to avoid a big mess at the last second. Dr. Cox scanned the papers, and JD grew more and more wary; he was utterly wrong, he was imagining things… He was being desperate.

"…JD. You are right! This is it the common threa—"

"Thread" was lost in the older man's throat, in both their throats, because JD had grabbed the other man and was now kissing him forcefully. Dr. Cox was very still, and JD pulled away, looking in the older man's eyes.

"JD…?"

JD found himself pushing the older man down onto the sofa and was quite surprised at his own courage. This wasn't domination, it was determination. He didn't want Perry to leave… He kissed him firmly but softer than before. Strong arms wrapped around his frail frame and pressed him down. In that moment he knew he was right, knew he had been foolish to not realize this sooner. The one person who had been a constant in his life was Perry Cox. He had been there regardless of JD being an ass or not. He had suffered him and helped him. He had been there, every step of the way, almost completely unconditionally, for years. JD was good, was home, as long as the other man was there. He belonged, at last.

"I love you too."

Perry Cox was his person.

**A huge thanx to the fallowing people for Faving/Alerting this story:**

_**FaithfulLurker, HastaLaVista, redwyvern21, Sweet Carys**_


	10. Part 10: His Home

**Title: **My Person (10/10)

**Author: **scones_better

**Rating: **R to be on the safe side

**Genre: **Romance (with dashes of light angst)

**Summary: **When JD take care of a special patient, he discover a part of himself he didn't know about. JD/Cox

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing and make no money out of this. If those characters were mine, they would be, very, very gay.

**AN: ** So this is it! Final part! I had fun writing it, I hope you will enjoy it. I tried to tie in as many things as I could, to make this full and complete. I huge thank you to sosaith, who has been a consistently giving and forgiving beta. I learned so much working with her! You have no idea how much cleaning she does to the story; it wouldn't be nearly as nice to read without her. A huge thanks to my girlfriend who always read my chapters when I'm worried about them not being to par and for always being so honest about what needs to be fixed. And finally thank you all for reading this, commenting, criticizing and encouraging me to continue. This is the first, full-length story that I finish, and to me it's a huge accomplishment. I learned so much about writing, discipline and planning with this. I encourage anyone who has the urge to write, to try it out! Here it goes ;)

On a side note: Sorry for the delay! There was communication problem. I hope you will all have found it worth the wait.

**My Person**

_**Part 10: His Home**_

"Are you quite done yet? You've been in there for half an hour!"

"I want to look good!"

"Retha, do you know that the pulchritude of your hair isn't related to the quantity of mousse you put in? In fact, I would go as far as to say that it is inversely proportional; the more damn mousse you put on, the worst it looks."

JD got out of the bathroom, glaring at Perry.

"Well looking at your hair, permit me to be skeptical at how reliable your input on this matter is."

"You are so going to regret saying that tonight."

"Oh, am I now?"

Perry kissed JD briefly on the lips and gave a small pat on JD's ass, enjoying the little squirm the younger man made. Perry never got tired of it.

"Don't make our guests wait too long okay? It's not polite for the hostess to be late."

***

JD and Perry had dated three months before announcing it to anyone. They had wanted to test their relationship first, knowing that the moment they would be open about it, a wave of questions would come their way. Not to mention the explanations they would have to give and the arguments they would have to fight.

The transition from coworker and friend to dating went pretty smoothly. Perry was still surprised at how natural it all felt: Watching TV with JD, arm wrapped firmly around the younger man's shoulders, not just laying behind him like he used to do, stealing a kiss or two in the supply closet, and even daring to hold his hand when they walked outside, away from the hospitals prying eyes. Perry was still feeling a bit uneasy about it, he had nothing against someone being gay or bisexual, he just never had thought he would be the one dating a guy. He had also felt insecure about his masculinity, but all it took was one person giving him and JD a disgusted look for Perry to stand straighter and hold JD closer, just as protective and confident as he would have been with a woman. What surprised Perry the most was that as a general rule people didn't seem to notice the two men. The few that did, either glared or smiled, and that Perry could easily deal with.

But eventually, they came to the realization that being open or not wasn't a choice anymore. They were actually working pretty well as a couple. The first person they told was, at Perry's request, Jordan. If JD and Perry were going to be as serious as they claimed, JD was going to be involved in Jack's life, if Jordan consented to it, of course. It was for that reason that he had contacted her and requested they meet. She had been feisty about it, unsurprisingly, but when he mentioned that it concerned Jack, she had accepted bitterly.

The day finally came, and Perry stood there with JD. The kid was a nervous wreck, nothing unexpected there… It had taken Perry a while to convince JD to be present during the confrontation. JD had yelled "She will skin me alive and feed my leftovers to crocodiles!" But a few sugar coated words (which hadn't work all that well) and the promise of sweets and candies (that really sold it) had coaxed the younger man into saying yes. Perry was just as nervous, but he needed his fight face on if he was going to do this. Besides, JD was being enough of a wreck for the two of them. Jordan had come in, without knocking and with an air of smug entitlement. Noticing JD's presence, which she hadn't been warned of, she glared sternly.

"DJ, you are going to have to scoot. Perper and I have to talk."

"Actually Jordan, I asked him to be there." Jordan raised an eyebrow at that.

"Awwww, aren't you cute. You're so scared that you need moral support. You are such a girl!"

Perry took a breath and saw, from the corner of his eyes, JD struggling not squirm or fidget.

"I want JD to be part of Jack's life."

"What the… Perry, don't make me waste my time. You know I have no problem with DJ here being a babysitter, he such a girl already, he's a natural at it. You better not have made me come all the way here for this."

Perry rubbed the bridge of his nose. It was proving harder than he had hoped. Perry then felt JD's fingers intertwine with his, giving a little squeeze for courage. He was flabbergasted at how daring the younger man was being. He should have expected no less, knowing the kid's loyalty to the ones he loved, but he also knew how terrified JD was of Jordan.

"Perry and I… We are a couple."

Jordan blinked twice then started laughing. When she saw Perry pull JD a little closer to himself, not letting go of JD's hand, her laughter quickly died.

"DJ, go away. I need to talk to Perry. Alone."

Jordan's voice was low and not a little hollow. Perry nodded to a terrified JD. The younger man left the apartment quickly, glancing back to Perry before leaving. It became very quiet in Perry's apartment. Jordan slowly walked toward Perry, circling him in a way akin to a bird of Prey. He, on the other hand, stood strong and still. Jordan, after a few quiet torturous minutes, finally stopped in front of him.

"What is this bullshit? You tell me you're in love head over heels with this girl, so much so that you won't have sex with me, and then, a few months later you try to tell me your dating the skinny brat you've spent most of the past few years complaining about? A boy, no matter how girly he is, too. You know, you have more than exceeded your time for mid-life crisis and I have had enough of your selfish superficial antics."

"It was JD I was talking about. I never referred to him as a woman during our conversation, _you_ did. And it's not a mid life crisis thing Jordan. You know I would never ask for anyone to be in Jack's life if it wasn't serious. I'm hoping for a home run here… I love him, Jordan. I love this _man_."

Jordan took a step back and observed Perry.

"No."

"Jordan."

"I said no."

"Jordan!"

"…Fine."

Perry was surprised to see tears well up in her eyes: it wasn't the reaction he had expected. Screams, swearing, threats and blackmail would have been his bet. Perry realized in that moment, that he hadn't taken her into consideration and while he was not nice person, he had known Jordan for so many years and he owed her a bit of dignity and sympathy. He walked toward her but she held her hand out to keep him at bay, using the other to rub the tears away.

"I think… I was just hoping that you and I could still be together. That we could be this sickly cute family, with the father and the mother and the kid and the whole white picket fence shit. But, I felt you moving on… And I should have moved on too. After you told me you were in that deep, I thought, you'd get over her, well him, like you usually do. I guess what I'm trying to say is… I feel like vomiting just thinking it but … I'm happy for you, Perry."

"Well now, who's the softy?"

"Hey you have nothing to say, you're a big poof now."

Perry couldn't help but to scoff.

"I'm not. It's just…"

"Him, I know. You always talked about him so damn much, I should have known. Scrawny little bitch."

Jordan smiled. She had regained all her composure and had pursed her lips with superiority. And then, her face became serious.

"He can be part of Jack's life as long as you are sure your thing is going to last a while. I don't want Jack to get attached then heartbroken over your and DJ's stupid selfish asses. Oh and DJ doesn't get to dress him either, am I clear? In fact, I have veto on all he's going to wear from now on."

"Jordan, you can't… that's just cruel. Think of the kid for God's sake!"

"Those are my terms!"

Perry sighed. Little gay sailor outfit for Jack it seemed.

"Agreed."

She had left not long after that. A few days later, JD had told Perry that Jordan had cornered the younger man, making him swear to be good to Perry and Jack, with the promise of horrible things happening to him (JD had not wanted to repeat them out loud) if he failed to do so. Trust the witch to still have a heart deep down.

Perry hadn't told JD, but he was glad Jordan had taken Perry's side. There were so few people who would worry about him ending up hurt over this relationship. They probably would expect him to be a total bastard and crush their innocent, sweet JD. He couldn't blame most of them; he had cultivated his jackass façade for pretty much all his life after all. But it didn't mean that this relationship wasn't terrifying him to the bones. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone, not JD, not his shrink either, but he could think it to himself. In the middle of the night. Alone. In the dark.

It still counted.

***

The first time they had sex (Perry still refused to call it "making love") it had been a month in their official relationship. It had taken days of tip toeing around each other, dropping hints and innuendos in their conversations, and long longing looks before any of them dared to do anything about it. They had come close a few times, but the minute they were starting to cross from heavy make out to a more sexual place, something would come up: One of them would be on call, or Jack needed something or one of them chickened out at the last minute.

Perry could feel the tension building between them, as every touch they shared grew charged with need. It even started to show at work, nothing that people really noticed, but Perry and JD could clearly read it in each other's body language. Perry had never thought that passing a chart could be so sexy or that plugging an IV could be such a turn on…

One evening, they were sitting on the couch, watching sport. Well Perry had been following the match and JD had asked questions, trying his best to be part of the experience but quickly showing his lack of knowledge on football. That match over, Perry found himself kissing JD. The younger man broke the kiss, making Perry grunt and pull JD closer. He wasn't done just yet. But JD pulled back again and Perry was left with no other choice than to ask him what was going on. Some things never changed, regardless of the gender of your partner.

"Out with it."

"I want to have sex with you. Now."

JD was blushing deeply but his face showed a strong determination. Perry could see it had taken the younger man a lot of courage to be so direct. The older man rose up, pulling JD with him.

"Fair enough."

JD kissed Perry with a force that surprised the older man. Perry had wanted to have sex with JD for a while, but the whole sex with a man part made him hesitant. It wasn't because he was scared no; it was because Perry had an ego. He was good in the sack, no matter what Jordan claimed, and while he knew what felt nice and how the male body worked, he had never touched another man that way before. Perry Cox didn't want to be mediocre.

And JD must have understood seeing how he was taking control of the situation pretty clearly. Perry soon realized they had been moving while kissing, his legs hitting the border of the mattress.

"JD…"

"Do you want this?"

"Hell yes."

"Well then, let's just have fun, okay?"

JD smiled, his casual, easy, and slightly goofy smile, and Perry believed him immediately. JD pushed him down on the bed, following him quickly to kiss Perry. The older man clearly felt the hardness of the younger man make contact with his own, and seeing how that alone felt pretty darn good, he knew he was not backing off of this one.

It had been messy, clumsy and occasionally awkward, but more than that, it had been mind blowing. Perry had forgotten how good sex could feel when you loved the person you were doing it with. Sex with Jordan had always been excellent; they were both good at it, but it would never have felt as nice otherwise. Angry sex was amazing, but after a while, being so mad and bitter at the other person slowly sucked the fun out of it. While Perry and JD's first time hadn't been perfect, it had left Perry more satisfied than he had been in a while. Afterward, they both had lain in bed, quietly, catching their breath. Perry could feel JD's hesitation and he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep properly until that was cleared up.

"I don't spoon."

Perry stated clearly and could feel JD become still next to him. He pulled JD until the other man's head rested on Perry's chest.

"That's as cuddly as I'll get. No hair playing, no endless nuzzling and no fingers tracing skin."

He felt JD smile and giggle against his chest.

"I'm not THAT girly."

Perry was surprised at the soft laughter that that comment brought up in his own throat.

"Next time, you'll be begging for me to call you a girl's name."

JD scoffed. "We'll see about that."

They fell asleep not much later. Perry sleep's was calmer than it had been in years.

***

A week after they had outed themselves to Jordan, JD had come to him with a determined expression on his face, trying to hold himself straighter and taller. Perry knew by now that it was JD's "confrontation" face.

"Perry. I want us to come out at work. All our friends are there. I don't want to sneak in the closet for kisses anymore. Not when Carla and Turk get to make out wherever and whenever they want!"

"Okay."

"I won't take no for an answer, I'm tired of – Wait, what?"

"Okay."

JD had slung himself over Perry, pushing the older man's newspaper from his hands, covering him with kisses and "thank you, thank you, thank you…" Perry, for once, hadn't minded JD's exuberance. Not one bit. Especially not when he got to trail his fingers all over the younger man's back and back. He couldn't help it; it was one of his favorite spots on JD's body.

It took two weeks of Perry procrastinating before JD had had enough and insisted that "Today, we are coming out, I don't care if someone crashes!" After Perry's glare, JD had quickly added, "It's a figure of speech!" in his squeaky voice.

It was not that Perry was avoiding the situation, he wasn't a coward after all, but he knew the moment they came out, the whole hospital would be after him with different levels of threats and blackmail tactics and he just wasn't in a hurry to be there.

Perry was dropping a chart at the nurse station, JD by his side. Carla, Gandhi and Barbie were around and Perry could see JD's determined expression.

"Guys, I have something I want to say. Hum, I mean that Perry and I want to say. I mean Dr. Cox… Actually, Perry would be more appropriate in this situation, seeing the nature of the conversation."

"Oh for God's sake JD, can you be more of a blabbering, giggling, embarrassed schoolgirl? I mean, I know this is big news for you and yours gals, seeing how one of your biggest dreams came true, but would you just say it and be done with it? Some of us have work to do!"

JD went silent and Perry felt a tiny bit guilty. He knew how nervous the kid was, and his speech would certainly not help.

"I don't see you helping and this seems to concern both of you." Ah. Gandhi to the rescue.

"Don't be so harsh with Bambi." Carla, always so caring.

"Don't listen to him JD, he just has a stick up is frickin butt like every morning or the moment you take more than five minutes to say what—."

Barbie added her babble to the whole noise chaos. Perry was so going to whistle if it didn't quiet down real soon.

"PERRY AND I HAVE BEEN DATING FOR 3 MONTHS!"

JD had blurted it out and, of course, everything became silent around the nurses station. Perry tapped his forehead with his fingers, willing the beginning of a headache away. He almost never had those anymore, not since he had started dating JD. He never told the younger man because he would never hear the end of it. JD still had a puppy's enthusiasm, the difference was that, now Perry didn't want to kick it as much, preferring banter and teasing over torturing and humiliating.

"WHAT?"

Gandhi had backed away, joining a very surprised Elliot and an only mildly stunned Carla.

"JD that's not funny…" "DR. COX?" "I knew it!" "I have to tell Mr. Roberts!" "Did he say?" "Does he mean, dating dating?" "Dr. Cox is gay?"

A buzz of gossip and questions quickly rose, not helping Perry's headache. The older man made his signature whistle to bring a halt to all the chaos.

"No, JD isn't joking, yes, we are "dating dating", whatever that's supposed to imply, and no, I'm not gay. Now that all of you no-lifers' gossip mill is filled up and has made your very, very, boring life more entertaining, go back to what you're supposed to be doing, which is healing people, and I know, most of you are only half-decent at it, but together we can manage not to kill too many patients."

Perry had watched everyone scatter away, everyone but Carla, Gandhi and Barbie.

"That includes you people."

Perry walked away, new chart in hand. Hell was going to unleash really soon.

***

Perry let out a sigh. Everyone kept staring at him, but, thankfully, they scattered away the moment he caught them in the act. Perry walked to the sink and started cleaning his hands when he felt someone's presence.

"Hello Gandhi"

Perry didn't turn around, simply staring at the black man's reflection in the bathroom mirrors.

"We have to talk. Man to man."

Ah. Gandhi was at least playing the right cards. Perry had always respected that aspect of the other man's personality.

"Man to man."

"My best friend is in love with you."

"Yes."

Perry answered smugly. Even if it wasn't a question, he had given an answer because he wanted Turk to know just how grounded Perry was.

"You love him back?"

"…Yes."

Perry turned around, glaring at Turk. If he was trying to be serious and all godfather-y he was failing. But then, Turk moved forward and grabbed the front of Perry's scrubs.

"Hands off, I already said I don't do men. Well, except for your forever best mate."

"Listen you jackass, I don't know why JD loves you, I really don't, but it makes him happy. As long as he's happy, I will suck it up and suffer you, but trust me when I say this, if you hurt him, I will hunt you down and kill you with my bare hands, son or no son. Understood?"

"Fair enough."

Gandhi let go off Perry who brushed off his scrubs casually.

"I have a patient who needs a consult in room 204. Try not to make me wait will you?"

Perry left, without glancing at Turk. He had expected that. He was just glad it was over. He knew he probably could take the other man down easily, even with their age difference. The difference was, he would regret it the next morning when his body would ache from the unexpected effort. Perry sighed; he was slowly accepting his age. And making the right decisions.

***

The consult with the patient of room 204 went smoothly. Gandhi had been professional and Perry and he were acting like nothing had happened. The patient was scheduled for an exploratory surgery and so Perry moved on to his next patient.

The older man was walking toward the next room when Kelso crossed paths with him. Seeing how Babo was almost never out of his office, Perry knew something bad was happening. Great, just what he needed, more shit.

"Perry, a word."

"I don't have time Babo, I'm working."

Perry was expecting Kelso to tell him he already knew the whole speech and he should change "his thing" as he putted it. Instead, he was faced with a very stern glare.

"So am I. Follow me. Now!"

Perry raised doubtful eyebrows, but still followed the man to his office. Kelso closed the door and, it was in that moment that Perry noted Ted's absence. The lawyer was part of the décor so often that him not being present made the room feel somewhat odd and bare.

"Sit."

"Babo, what is all this? I need to be taking care of my patients. You might have forgotten what it was like, seeing how you are locked away here all day, but people like me, are here to do their jobs and not only stop those sorry excuses of interns from screwing it up, but actually teach them too."

"Perry, while I do occasionally enjoy our bantering, this is no time for play, so shut your yawper and listen to what I have to say. I don't usually listen to gossip much, what you people do with your pathetic personal lives is of no interest to me. Unfortunately, the rumors I've been hearing all over this morning as brought up some concerns. While I have no idea how you, of all people, ended up with Dr. Dorian, I just want to make something very clear: you had better handle this relationship like a gentleman. I do not want to ever be in the position of having to choose between you and Dr. Dorian. Am I clear?"

"Yes."

"Now scram, I have a chocolate and orange zest muffin calling me."

Perry left the room, and walked. He walked all over the hospital. He took the stairs up. He didn't stop until he reached the roof. He didn't go up there often, and it hadn't been his goal. His goal was just to walk until he was alone.

He hadn't thought about the consequences: if they were to break up... JD was loved and cherished by almost everyone in the hospital, and he was an excellent doctor. If the situation degenerated, Perry was pretty sure Babo would have a hard time explaining his decision regardless of whom he chose. Perry was the more experienced doctor but he was the least loved. JD was young and the hospital needed a strong head, which he wasn't. Perry never thought he would feel that bad for Kelso.

"…_you better handle this relationship like a gentleman." _

***

"Will this day ever end?"

Perry rubbed his temples. There had been three crashes on his lunch break, and the constant staring was becoming more and more of an annoyance. If something good didn't happen soon, he would probably snap and strangle someone.

"Here."

Carla gave him a coffee and a smile. He knew that smile. She wanted to talk. Great. They stood in silence for a few minutes.

"How did that happen?"

"How did what happen?"

"Don't be like that. You. JD. Dating? I never thought you'd be with a man."

"That makes two of us."

Silence.

"Are you happy?"

Perry turned to Carla with a surprised expression.

"Yes… Yes, I am, actually."

"Good. And just so we are clear, if you hurt Bambi, I'll never forgive you."

"Your husband gave me a speech in that vein. He was much more colorful in his choice of words though."

Perry placed the cup on the nurse station counter and turned to walk away. Carla's voice made him stop.

"But if he hurts you… I'll give him hell like no one has ever given him before."

Perry smirked, even though Carla couldn't see his face. He gave a faint nod and then went on with his work. He wouldn't want to be in JD's place if something like that happened. The Latina woman could do serious damage.

***

JD was talking to him animatedly, but Perry was only half listening. Barbie kept glaring at him from her spot near the nurses station. Normally, he would simply have ignored her, but she had spent most of the day following him and was slowly moving toward the "stalker" territory. Perry did not fancy having his Porsche tires sliced open by a crazy blonde.

JD gave him a peck on the cheek and then ran to Gandhi who was waiting for him with open arms. Perry would have grunted at that, his possessive side always strong, but his need to deal with Barbie trumped any jealousy he might have. He walked toward her, with his trademarked crazy eyes. He was going to fight fire with fire. Her eyes quickly switched from glaring to surprised and then, terrified. Determined, but terrified. She stood firmly, high up on her heels, twitching her head and blowing her bangs away from her face.

"Barbie, I know I'm easy on the eyes, but you have to get it in your pretty, blonde, caked, head that you have moved too slow and that I'm taken now. And I know what you're thinking, how can I choose JD over your stunning bimbo's look, but the answer is very simple, JD isn't completely cuckoo and that definitely trumps any mini skirt you might ever where. So now, it's time you go home, drown your sorrow in chocolate and Grey's Anatomy, and move on."

Barbie blinked once and then glared at Perry. She stabbed her finger in his chest as she spoke.

"Be good to him."

She left. It was Perry's turn to blink. Where was the long, insane, weird speech with the mention of a relative's suicide? Well, he wasn't about to complain, he always preferred it when people used the short and straightforward road. He also knew that if Barbie was being so focused, it probably meant that not only did she meant it, but that she would go crazy on his ass if he did any harm to JD. Great, another crazy lady in his life, just what he needed. Jordan was more than enough.

Things eased back to normality after a few weeks. JD and Perry occasionally showed signs of affection, and they left together more often than not, but otherwise, life at the hospital had changed very little. It had taken some time before people stopped glaring at Perry and stopped watching his every move, but after they realized just how happy JD seemed to be and that, no, Perry wasn't just toying with the boy, they left them alone. It helped that Perry was a tiny bit softer now that he was with the younger man. He was by no means sweet or nice, but, to those who knew him since his debut, he seemed more relaxed. Like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

***

It was their six-months anniversary. Perry was waiting for JD, who, as always, was taking his sweet sweet time. People probably expected that two guys dating didn't make each other wait, but JD was and had always been very girly, which meant he spent as much time grooming himself, as the average girl would have. Perry fought the urge to smash his hand on the horn of his car and repeated to himself like a mantra: "He's not late, you're early, and this is an important evening." He grabbed the box of JD's favorite sweets that he had bought for the kid and placed it on the back seat so no one would sit on it. Perry hated waiting. It made him feel neglected or unimportant which his ego really didn't like. It also made him stew in whichever thoughts or mood he was in and that wasn't very good either. Right now, it was the third time that he had mentally talked himself out of giving JD's his gift, breaking up with the younger man, freaking out about their age difference or just the fact that they were such polar opposite, rationalizing himself by comparing himself to nervous guy which was frankly pathetic, talking himself back into giving the gift to JD, and feeling sure about his decision once more. Then, time would pass and he would start all over.

"I'm such a pussy."

"Hey! I resent that!"

JD had apparently walked out of his building and slipped in the passenger seat without Perry noticing. The younger man was now pouting at him, which always meant Perry was torn between smacking him and kissing him.

"'You all set?"

"Yup! Where are we going?"

"Not telling."

"What? Oh, come on! That is so like you—"

"I can just cancel the evening if it's too much for you to handle."

"No."

"Well, just sit back then."

The first few minutes of driving were in silence. Perry had feared for a second that he might redo the whole process of changing his mind, but that was without counting on JD's inability to ever stay quiet more than five minutes. The kid was in the middle of one of his inane ramblings when Perry looked at him.

"What?"

"You look good"

"Oh. Th-thanks."

JD was clearly surprised and flattered, if a bit shy.

"You look good too."

"I know."

Perry smiled cockily and JD's prissy demeanor melted away. The younger man slapped him on the arm in exasperation with Perry's gigantesque ego. Perry finally parked himself in the 24h breakfast joint he had brought JD to after his break up with Harrison. Perry felt it was the first time they had shared an actual moment together and thought it would be the appropriate place to celebrate their anniversary. Perry was a man yes, a virile one at that, but he was also a romantic, and knowing JD, he felt that this effort would be appreciated.

"Oh! The breakfast place! I really wanted to come back here. They make the best hot chocolate ever!"

Perry chuckled and got out of the car, remembering to pick up the box of sweets in the back. He discretely tucked it away in his jacket and walked toward JD, who, as always, curled his fingers against Perry's. The younger man wasn't as clingy as Perry had expected him to be, he was clearly trying hard and he was actually improving, but JD still insisted on holding hands. Perry always rolled his eyes, but he actually enjoyed the gesture. It made him feel grounded.

They entered the place and they were seated at the same table they had the first time. Perry ordered his usual western omelet with hash browns and black coffee, and scolded as JD ordered a hot chocolate with his chocolate chips pancakes with whipped cream and a side of crispy bacon. Not only was this not very healthy, it would ruin his gift. Although, JD seemed to have no limits when it came to sweet things.

They talked about the day, argued about interns, JD shared some gossip, Perry shared some anger, and they laughed and bantered plenty. It was all so comfortable and normal that Perry had a hard time believing it was real. Dysfunctional couples had surrounded him all his life: from his parents, to Jordan and a few weird ex-girlfriends… Yet, Perry didn't find himself trying to run away from this peace and quiet, but embracing it. It wasn't like he hadn't had to fight for it, but it had been all worth it.

After their table was cleared, Perry took a deep breath and pulled out the box of sweets and set it on the table, in front of JD.

"What is that?"

"6 months…"

"Oh. Oh! But I… I didn't buy you anything."

Now Perry was the one embarrassed. Was JD really shutting down this gesture of affection? It was the last time he was doing this, that was for sure… He hadn't thought long enough; this was a horrible mistake on his part and he should know better by now.

"Never mind, I'll take it back."

"NO!"

JD held onto the box for dear life. He opened it, and Perry looked away, waiting for JD's reaction. No sound came from the younger man, and Perry grew worried. He turned to face the kid and was met with a huge grin.

"Is this what I think it is?"

"Don't make a big deal out of it."

"You are giving me keys to your place! It's a big deal!"

JD was munching on one of the sweets, looking at the set of keys like it was made of gold. Perry had slipped them in before wrapping the box.

"You always end up at my place and it gets annoying always having to stop what I'm doing to greet your precious little ass. Besides, there's no way I'm letting go of my place for your crappy rundown apartment when mine has plenty of room for the two of us, and Jack when he comes to visit, and frankly, I'm just tired of doing the back and forth between your stupid place and mine."

"I'll start moving in the next day we have off, okay? How about you help me out?"

JD was clearly untouched by Perry's derogatory comments, proof of their growth as a couple.

"Fair enough."

JD grabbed Perry and kissed him roughly. JD then whispered in Perry's ear:

"I have a great idea of how to use those, so how about you drive us back to _our_ place so I can try it out..."

JD smiled cockily. Perry was still surprised at how daring JD had grown to be. He clearly wasn't seeing Perry has Dr. Cox or a Mentor anymore, but as his lover and partner. He wasn't embarrassed or shy, or afraid to take initiative as much either, for which Perry was more than thankful.

Perry paid for their meal and drove back to his, _their_, place as quickly as he could without breaking the law. JD had dragged him to the bedroom without taking a break, and had fulfilled his promise.

After what JD did to him that night, Perry made sure to have a box of those sweets around the house at all time.

***

They had their first major argument not long after JD had moved his stuff in.

"I will not indulge you and Gandhi's weird fetish like Carla does, sweet motherly figure that she is, it's about time that both of you grew out of it and if a five year old can live without his teddy bear, I'm sure you two grown up men can survive without a dead stuffed dog. I refuse to have this sick, putrid, hairy thing in my place and you better take care of it yourself or the next time you'll see it, it be in ashes in a trashcan."

"It's my place too now! And you can't ask me to abandon Steven! Where will he go? He can't fend for himself!"

"He's a ratty stuffed dog that probably belonged to a crazy old lady, and I won't have its corpse laying around our living room!"

"How is it our place if you don't let me put any of my things around!"

"You placed your girly DVDs on my shelves!"

"_My_ girly DVDs? Coming from the nearly 50 year old man who has the complete collection of every movie staring Lindsay Lohan, I think that's pretty hypocritical!"

"Hypocritical? You have been trying to change the whole place! I'm already not fond of compromise but let me tell you that trying to paint the walls pink, and don't try to call it "salmon" it's fucking pink, is not compromising, it's you pushing your horribly girly taste on me."

Perry, in his anger, had grabbed "Steven" and thrown it out the window.

"MURDERER!"

JD had rushed to the window and then out the door. Perry watched the younger man pick up his intact stuffed dog from above. That damn thing had more lives than a cat. Perry looked around his, no _their_, place and sighed. He was being an ass. He was afraid of change and letting go. He couldn't keep saying no to all of JD's demands. He was not going to let the kid paint the walls pink but he could let him have the damned dog and add some new elements to his admittedly very stern apartment. JD was full of life; it was normal that he felt unwelcome in such a cold, restricted place.

Perry went down and stood behind a sitting JD.

"I'm sorry."

"You tried to kill him!"

"It's a stuffed dog! His already dead!"

JD turned his head and glared at him.

"… But he can stay." _"I want you to stay"_ was what Perry meant.

JD was standing in close to him now, holding his dog away from Perry.

"I won't make anything pink."

And he hadn't. The place was filled with frames, pictures, and a few personal objects. JD had incorporated new materials and fabrics that brought softness and warmth to the cold cement and silver of Perry's initial décor. It looked nice, balanced, and Perry had mocked JD by saying that he had missed his calling and that he should have gone into decorating instead of medicine. He received a stern look for it, but he knew the younger man wasn't taking it to heart.

The next day, Perry bought a pink bathrobe and pink bath accessories for JD. He still refused to put pink on the walls, but he could let the younger man have it in other forms. Besides, JD's "girlyness" was growing on him. JD had a spine, strong opinions, and didn't let Perry walk all over him. So if the man wanted to wear pink, Perry really didn't mind. And, he kind of liked it when JD smelled of lavender...

The next night brought another first: JD had asked him to take him. Perry had been surprised to say the least when he had heard the words "Fuck me, oh please, Perry." But he had obliged, letting JD guide him trough the preparation. It was a whole new world of sensation, and even if Perry hadn't enjoyed it, but dear god had he enjoyed it, he still would have wanted to repeat it, just for the noises JD had made. They had sex until early in the morning, when they finally fell asleep, completely spent.

***

"Look! The big monkey's back is all grey."

"It's a gorilla and he's what we call a _silver back_. It means that he's the boss and that's why he looks angry at the other gorillas: he's saying I'm the biggest and strongest! But he also takes care of them too."

"Like daddy?"

"Like daddy!"

JD turned and winked at a glaring Perry. In truth, Perry was very happy. JD and Jack were on such good terms lately.

It hadn't been the case at first.

Perry had feared that Jack would reject JD for being a man and not wanting his "daddy" with someone else than his "mommy". As it turned out, that wasn't the problem. No, what Perry had completely overlooked was that he had been training his kid to be mean and disrespectful to JD for the past few years of his very young life. This meant that Jack thought he had a free pass whenever JD was concerned. The first couple of time had been funny, but Perry realized quickly that it was a problem. Jack couldn't be left with JD alone: Jack always ended up creating a humongous mess and throwing epic tantrums. JD tried really hard, and he often excused the child, but Perry had none of it.

Thankfully, Jack, being so young, quickly re-learned how to behave, and was now very fond of JD. After all, JD was still a kid in many ways, and he had no qualms about playing pretend games, making silly voices, and putting puppet shows on. He never overshadowed Perry and quickly learned to put his foot down too. Perry had insisted that JD be like a second dad rather than a "nice uncle", and he had to be part both of the good sides and the bad sides of parenthood. That included punishing Jack for his bad behaviors. Thankfully, it didn't happen too often, but JD clearly had a hard time with it. He was so damn sweet and loving, he always felt terrible after saying "no" to Jack. But JD also brought sensibility in Jack's life. While Jordan had improved on that side, Perry was still learning to open himself, and Perry was thankful for JD's presence. The younger man would often calm him down, and remind him that Jack was still a toddler, and that he couldn't understand everything yet, not in the way an adult could anyway.

Perry knew things were much better now because Jack always looked forward to going to see "Daddy and JD" and always asked Jordan if JD would be there, because sometimes he had a shift on the day Jack visited. The toddler would often pout and be disappointed when that was the case. At first, Perry had been hurt by it; he had felt like JD was stealing Jack's affection away. But any inkling of envy disappeared on one afternoon:

"_What are you doing Jack?"_

"_Drawing"_

"_Can I see?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Is that you?"_

"_Yes, with Mommy and Daddy and JD and Steven... It's my family!" _

"_The dog could better…"_

"_Daddy!"_

_Jack had frowned at his dad's comment. Perry couldn't help it: he still couldn't bring himself to lie and coo in ecstasy in front of the horrible scribes his son had made. _

Since that day, Perry had felt more than at ease with the whole situation. Perry followed Jack and JD to the next exhibition: tigers. Jack was excited by the "big cats" and it made JD smile. And both of them made Perry smile in turn.

***

Today was their first year anniversary. They had been living together for almost six months and had not only survived it but had actually enjoyed it. Perry was still astonished by it all. He walked toward the bathroom, impatient as always.

"Are you quite done yet? You've been in there for half an hour!"

"I want to look good!"

"Retha, do you know that the pulchritude of your hair isn't related to the quantity of mousse you put in? In fact, I would go as far as to say that it is inversely proportional; the more damn mousse you put on, the worst it looks."

JD got out of the bathroom, glaring at Perry.

"Well looking at your hair, permit me to be skeptical at how reliable your input on this matter is."

"You are so going to regret saying that tonight."

"Oh, am I now?"

Perry kissed JD briefly on the lips and gave a small pat on JD's ass, enjoying the little squirm the younger man made. Perry never got tired of it.

"Don't make our guests wait too long okay? It's not polite for the hostess to be late."

"Oh come on, they wont be here before another good fifteen minutes. By the way, we are out of red wine, would you go get some at the store? And if you just go now, we both won't lose time listening to your speech about me being a blonde air-head who always makes you work."

Perry glared but still grabbed the keys and went out to buy some wine. He knew for whom it was, and that made it less of a hassle. It took longer than he had hoped, construction had made him take many detours, but he finally got back to their apartment. When he got in, the noise reached his ears: laugher, light arguments, discussion and giggles were all coming from the kitchen slash dining room (his apartment was big, but not THAT big after all). He noticed many pairs of shoes by the door, and added his to the pile before going further in the living room. Perry didn't show himself right away, wanting to contemplate the picture before him. Jack was making Isabella giggle, held tight by a chattering Carla. She was having an animated conversation with Barbie and Jordan. JD was filling up Harrison's glass (It had taken some time for Perry to accept the fact that Harrison was still JD's friend. The first time Harrison had visited, Perry had tried to punch him straight in the face.) and Gandhi was talking with Harrison's boyfriend Mathias.

Perry never had thought that this place would be filled with so many people, especially not so many _happy_ people. Perry waited for a few minutes; maybe he could sneak by unnoticed and hide in their room until the party was over? He had a great medical report that waited for him on the nightstand… He started chanting his mantra _"I'm invisible, I'm invisible, I'm invi—" _but was cut short by JD who had, of course, spotted him right away. JD always found him, saw him or recognized him no matter where, when or how many other people there were around. He shouldn't be surprised anymore: it was like that before they dated and it was worse now that they were a couple. But Perry was a desperate man, who could blame him for trying?

"Perry is back!"

"Finally! So what's the big news?"

"Well, today celebrate our first year together, but there is bigger news. Perry and I wanted to wait before we told you this, okay fine, fine, I wanted to wait and Perry was kind enough to shut up about it… Remember the research we had been working on? Well we thought we had found out the problem but we had to expand our research to a larger number of patients… Turns out we were right! We are going down in medical history!"

"Congratulations!"

"That's great!"

"Brilliant!"

"A toast! A toast!"

Perry was pushed down into a seat by a firm hand: JD's. Perry could have easily freed himself, and would have done so in a heartbeat a year ago, but he knew by now that if he just sat and survived the party, it would make JD happy. That, somehow, had become important to Perry. He knew from dating Jordan, that if he had been more present she never would have strayed. Perry had always made her feel like the least important thing in his life, he was determined not to make the same mistake with JD.

Someone served Perry a beer and he slowly relaxed. No one was pushing him to talk, they all made sure his glass was always full, and just when he was about to complain about being hungry, delicious food was served to him thanks to Carla and Mathias' exquisite cooking skills. Perry laughed at one of Harrison's deadpan comments and it downed on him: He didn't hate these people. Throughout the year, he had slowly eased into the idea of having them invade his space, his boyfriend (Turk, Carla and Elliot always took him out, visited, or phoned…) and his life. He didn't complain half as much as he would have a month ago when JD planned "get togethers" and even found himself helping from time to time. He didn't feel the urge to strangle any of them, with the exception of Barbie who always managed to annoy the hell out of him. But, she was in all her horror, the exception that confirmed the rule. Perry found himself listening to the conversations and while they were still insipid and silly they didn't bother him as much as they used to. He still found the city boring, the hospital a rat-hole and the interns to be brainless zombies, but something had changed. He didn't hate it here anymore. He had people he tolerated and whom tolerated him in turn. He had a family, one that some might judge, but Perry would snap their necks in half if they said anything. He also had people he liked enough to consider friends that he could admit to care for, once in a blue moon.

Perry, after over forty years of shit, hell and crap, was finally home.

**AN2****: This is the final part. There will be NO sequels to this story. Hope you liked it ;)**

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